Let me see if I understand this correctly. You let one of the members of your team drive his personal vehicle to a crime scene investigation, and even though there was a perfectly good crime scene vehicle there that personal car was crammed with every bit of evidence collected at a major murder investigation because two of you were maxed out on overtime. (Sara smirks and looks towards Greg who looks at the ground) And then the driver of said car, instead of securing that evidence in the lab, gave priority to his need for runny eggs, and the aforementioned vehicle was stolen from the parking lot filled with police cars. (Brass raises his eyebrows) Is there anything I missed?
Just this: Even if we recover the vehicle, the chain of custody has been broken, so all the evidence has been compromised. No judge will allow any of it to be admitted into court. Oh, and also, we released the crime scene, so it too has been compromised, leaving us nothing to go back for.
Thank you for clearing up the situation. (leaves)
It could have been worse. (shows Undersheriff McKeen leaving in his car, knocking down all the construction cones and speeding off)
Undersheriff McKeen (talking to Brass about the case): It's gonna look like the CSI's were paid off, no one's gonna believe it was an unfortunate series of coincidences. So my choices are we're idiots or we're dirty. So which are we?
Nick (going through his flashback; walking under the arch): "You'd think she'd know better than to wear white on the bride's big day." The perfume of American Beauties was everywhere, though a rose by any other name would have smelled just as sweet with that much love in the air.
Anyone interested in the wedding DVD?
GNGreg, Nick & Sara
Yeah.
Courtsey of Frank Rosetti. Owner of Cupid's Kiss. [(puts the DVD in)] All right, where do you wanna start?
GNGreg, Nick & Sara
The toast.
[Catherine puts on the toast, and they watch]
Dianne Chase [On DVD]: Everyone, everyone, I wanna thank you for coming. You know, the Bible says love is strong as death and as mother of the groom a wedding is bitter sweet. You are giving up as much as you are gaining. In some cases you are giving up much more. [loses her speech as she starts to get tipsy] To hell with it, I'll wing it. My Adam. He studied at Oxford, he went to Harvard school of business and of all the intelligent, wonderful, beautiful women he met along the way he ended up with Jill, plain little Jill. There's nothing wrong with her, but what's right with her, haha, even her name is boring. [turns to Adam] It's all right to take a lover, you just don't have to end up marrying her.. I mean, do you really wanna shallow our gene pool like this? [Adam tries to get her to leave] I wanna thank you all so much for coming, oh I love you Adam. [Catherine pauses the DVD after the toast is done]
Grissom [going through his flashback]: "You'd think she'd know better than to wear white on the bride's big day." (reciting poetry as he's walking under the arch) Spring is but a song, where love and laughter are not wrong. The blossoms of desire do belong, and harmonia axyridis fly along.
JJill
For the past six months she made my life hell and so I told anyone that would listen that she should die a fiery death so now everyone is gonna think that I killed her.
Would you like to be more specific?
JJill
Okay, well when we got engaged, um...she ran into the backyard and she screamed "Why God, why me?" Okay. She wore white today. She... She invited Adam's very, very, attractive, very um...single ex-girlfriend. When she found out that I had registered for sporting goods she went behind my back and changed the registry to housewears. Saying that I better learn how to cook. Okay, I'm a vegetarian and she demanded roast beef. Um...and then, then there's the toast. The toast.
Are you trying to make me think that you didn't kill her?
JJill
I would never do that to Adam. I honestly don't know how such an amazing man came from...from...that.
That's a tight schedule. She would have barely had time to go to the bathroom.
FRFrank Rosetti
I don't sell bridal diapers for nothin'.
He was kiddin' about the diapers, right?
So, you took the perimeter of the scene, right?
Well, I saw this guy in the shadows, Archie blew it up, looks more like a suspect than a guest. (shows Nick the pictures) That face look familiar?
Yeah, yeah, I caught that guy sleepin' one off in the bushes. It's the groom's old man.
Wow, I thought my wedding was bad.
EErnest
Nope, but you better check to see she's really dead, because I don't think you can kill the Devil.
You know, you and me, we're not the marrying kind. The intricacies of our nature can never be understood by just one woman.
Would you close the door please? [Hodges goes over and closes the door.] From the other side.
Nick (walking in): What's up?
Sara (holding up the bride's lingerie): I need your hands.
I thought you'd never ask.
Sara (smirks): I need you to um...reprint the bumper because the tape lifts were stolen.
(After Wendy tells them the DNA results)
We could compare them to the bucal swabs that we collected...if we still had them.
Well we'll just have to recollect them.
Yeah. And since we can't leave...someone else is...gonna have to recollect them.
This is crap. I've been waiting on IAB for 14 hours. I'm tired. And I kinda smell. And I don't have a friggen car.
(Nick's car arrives in the garage with half naked women painted on it)
Brass [to Nick]: Hey, pimp. How do you like your new ride?
Nick (whining): Ooh, ooh, that's not funny.
MMikey
Where's that Sara chick?
Oh Romeo, I don't think that you have time for romance. You're being charged with grand theft auto, obstruction of justice and conspiracy to murder...
MMikey
Okay. I will cop to everything but the murder.
Well, if you didn't commit the murder, why did you steal the car?
MMikey
Look, the lady was already dead, all right? And then you guys show up... and this bridesmaid comes up to me and starts askin' me all these questions about my tow truck.
MMikey
The hot one. The next thing I know she wants to be the Bonnie to my Clyde. Asked me to steal this car and trash all the evidence.
So you committed grand theft auto to get laid?
MMikey
Have you ever stolen a two-ton piece of machinery? It is way better than sex. And finding a girl that doesn't wanna kick you to the curb for it? I mean c'mon, that is hot! Besides, I haven't gotten a wedding gift for my sister yet.
Did you know the original role of the bridesmaid was to act as a human shield against the bride's enemies?
Women would dress similar to the bride in an effort to confuse and outsmart evil spirits that might try to overtake her on her wedding day.
Wow, for somebody who's anti-wedding you sure know a lot about it.
I'm not anti-wedding, I'm just anti-stupid. You know, people who do things for the sake of tradition with no clue as to why...
Grissom (gives her a look): Anyway...
