[Karen has lost her footbag.]
I'm looking for my footbag.
It's called a sock, Einstein!
S2Lost and Found
Who leaves a pair of pants by the side of the road?
That is weird. Picking up a stranger's pants and carrying 'em around all day, that's perfectly normal.
Can't just leave 'em there, that's pants, be a waste. Waste of pants.
Nobody likes pant waste.
Yeez I hope it's not genetic.
Are you kidding? You're getting more like him every day.
Oh don't be a jackass!
Seriously, you guys, a joke's a joke, but I want my hacky-sack back.
We don't know where it is.
Okay... I guess uhh...I'll go look for it in...the Ruby! Am I getting warmer?
You're getting weirder.
S2Poor Brent
[Upset about Wanda throwing away a TV flyer] Well why would you throw away-
Garbage? I'm an enigma.
Really, does that pay well? Cause I'm getting the feeling your gas station career may be winding up.
[sarcastically] Oh no.
A man's TV should reflect his age. You're 18, 18 inch. When you turn 27, 27 inch. One of these monsters will last me till I'm 50.
You're not 50?
You're not fired?
S2Hero Sandwich
This is the Dog River Howler after all, the info is sketchy at best. Remember last year when those coyotes were comin' into town, eatin' people's cats.
Plus, the plural of werewolf is werewolves... with a "v".
Also a good point.
MFMayor Fitzgerald
It's time that Dog River joined the 20th century.
Now we'll only be one century behind.
S2Security Cam
Wanda, can I show you something?
I've already seen your belly doing the hula.
Now, no more dirty talk. Hand me that big tool so I can mount this.
S2Bingo Night
Wanda, why don't you call? You have such a beautiful voice.
Really? At Karaoke Night, you threw a shoe at me.
My feet were tired.
A broken pipe?
I dunno how it happened.
[trying to fix the broken pipe] Probably his fault, all those damn showers he took when he was a kid.
Well, can't Dad fix it?
[Pipe starts spraying water in Oscar's face.]
What do you think?
Well how the hell did it get bent like that?
How should I know? Looks like the work of an orangutan.
Really? That's your prime suspect?
S2Mosquito Time
I need Oscar around the house. His weirdness keeps me sane.
You and me are very different people.
Oscar, do you have any liquid dish soap?
Lickey disco?
S2Hurry Hard
[attempting to say "Hurry Hard"] Have a heart! Have a heart!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Corner Gas pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.