Rebecca Howe quotes from Cheers

Frasier

People. People. We cannot impose our own moral belief systems on these two.

Sam

Yes, thank you very much.

Frasier

The real question is, will they make responsible parents?

Rebecca

That's right.

Frasier

And the answer is an emphatic no.

Rebecca

I think you guys should just call it off. I mean I think it's childish.

Sam

Excuse me. Childish? Sweetheart, this is bar versus bar. We will use any weapons available to us; water balloons, stink bombs, whoopee cushions, and fake vomit. Yes fake vomit. Now how childish is it?

Lilith

Frasier, I've got to run. I'm having my photograph taken for a new ID badge at the lab.

Rebecca

Are you going to get your hair done for that?

Lilith

Why on earth should I?

Carla

Well at least get the tension on that bun checked. I mean if that baby goes, we are dead!

Lilith

That hardly seems just, coming from a woman whose hair has never seen a greasy pot it couldn't scrub clean.

Sam

Hey sweetheart, what do you think? If it's a boy we name it Sam.

Rebecca

Oh I don't know. You know I always thought that naming a child after yourself was saying you wanted them to grow up just like you, like the things you like, to act the way you do.

Sam

Okay, Sam it is.

Rebecca

You know when I was a kid I was the first one in my class to, you know, develop breasts. They teased me the whole year.

Norm

Oh yeah? Me too.

Rebecca

Who's birthday? One of your kids?

Carla

Yeah right, you see a file in it? Today happens to be Elvis Presley's birthday.

Norm

Celebrating the birthday of a dead guy. That's kind of ghoulish, isn't it? I don't know how you could stomach something like that.

Carla

It's double mocha chocolate fudge.

Norm

Long live the king.

Rebecca

Oh Sam, he's so sweet. I don't want to hurt his feelings. What do you say when you break up with a woman?

Sam

I usually say, "I'll call you tomorrow."

Woody, we've got to be going.

Woody

Right. [to Sam] If James has to circle the block more than once he has a hissy fit.

Boy. Chauffeurs, huh, Miss Howe?

Rebecca

Oh, yeah. I have that trouble with mine all the time.

Really? What do you do?

Rebecca

I wake up.

Rebecca

18 years old and ready to take on the world.

Woody

Wait a minute. You were 18 when you graduated from high school? What, did daddy pull some strings?

Rebecca

This is what we losers do, Norm. At least we're not alone, we have each other.

Norm

You're not gonna kiss me again are you?? Cause I still have to drive home.

Rebecca

I'm not a loser! Norm's a loser. Look at him eating ice cream.

Norm

Hey guys...did Rebecca just call me a loser?

Frasier

I'm afraid so, Norm.

Norm

Good...I thought she said leave me some!

Norm

What do you want to do tonight, Cliff?

Cliff

Eh, I dunno, what do you want to do?

Norm

I dunno.

Rebecca

You guys, you do this all day long for hours!

Cliff

Face it Rebecca, we're bored, nothing ever happens around here.

Rebecca

[gasps] Oh my God!

Norm

Hey, it's Andy Andy.

Rebecca

What, you know this person?!

Cliff

Yeah, former major felon. Once killed a waitress.

Where's Diane? I demand to see Diane!!!

Woody

Well, Miss Chambers hasn't worked here for 5 or 6 years.

Oh really? Well, okay.

Cliff

So, what do you want to do?

Rebecca

[after the gang hears that John Allen Hill had a heart attack] Should we visit him at the hospital? Who wants to go? Come on you guys... he's our neighbor... we know him. We should see him in the hospital.

Norm

Rebecca, it's not like he's our best friend or anything.

Rebecca

Norm, that's not the point. The point is you have to pretend to be nice to people - that's what makes you a good person.

In the meantime, I'll just stay here and wait. Give me a beer.

Norm

[shows his empty mug] Sir, did I ever tell you that I was in the Coast Guard?

Coast Guard, huh? Well you must be very proud, Miss.

Norm

So, buy a girl a drink?

Rebecca

[to guests that have arrived at Cheers for their family reunion] I took the liberty of making name-tags for everybody. See: "Hello, My name's Rebecca". And this one is for you, Peter. [to Party Guest #1] And your name is...

We're all family. We know each other's names. [she walks away]

Rebecca

Let me make one out for you anyway: "B-I-T-C..."