Rebecca Howe quotes from Cheers

Sam

Do me one favor, will ya.

Rebecca

Sure, what is it?

Sam

Go to bed with me.

Rebecca

Oh Sam, you never stop.

Sam

I'm sorry. It's in my genes.

Rebecca

That's where it's gonna stay.

Rebecca

Robin, I need a one woman man.

And I am a one woman man. It's just that I'm still looking for the one woman.

Rebecca

I cannot believe that Robin would use me like this.

Sam

Yeah I know. He seems like such a decent guy. It's not like he ever, you know, cheated on any of your friends on a business deal. No, no actually he did, didn't he? Well at least you never caught him with another woman. Oh shoot that happened too. Well maybe this is the very last bad thing he does. Yeah that's it.

Rebecca

Gee Sam, you think so?

Rebecca

I love [Robin] and I'm just about ready to lose him. Have you ever thought what it would be like to be without Vera for 20 years?

Norm

Oh my God.

Rebecca

See you'd miss Vera.

Norm

I thought you said beer.

Rebecca

This is about us.

Sam

What about us?

Rebecca

Sam, we have been friends too long to let it end this way. And I just came back to say that I'm sorry I ran out earlier in a huff. And that I knew you weren't coming on to me. And when you said I wasn't good that it wasn't just some trick to get me back into bed it was because you were being honest because I am a lousy lover.

Sam

No, sweetheart you're not.

Rebecca

Sam, it's alright. It's not like I haven't heard it before.

Sam

You're a fantastic lover.

Rebecca

I'm a dud and I know it. Robin just didn't realize it because he's English.

Sam

Listen. I wouldn't say you were good if you weren't.

Rebecca

No, no Sam that doesn't wash. You've been after me for three years and you finally got me. I mean if I was even adequate I know that you would've run out there and told every bozo in the bar.

Sam

You don't think I was dying to do that? It was making me crazy. It's just that I thought I would be betraying our friendship. I've never had a friend before.

Rebecca

You have lots of friends!

Sam

No, no I've never had a friend before.

Rebecca

It doesn't mean I will never see you guys. I can still come in as a customer. Of course with work and all I can't stay for 10 to 12 hours at a stretch like you guys.

Norm

That's okay. You can be in the part timers club. They sit over there.

Cliff

And when you're ready to commit you'll let us know.

Norm

Yeah like Phil there. He's right on the verge.

Carla

Have you ever seen so many yuppies with gold cards?

Rebecca

John Allen Hill worked his magic, and we reap the benefits.

Carla

I love these charge slips. Look here. They put down a five for a tip. All I have to do is stick a one in front of it and I got 15.

Sam

Are you drinking again?

Rebecca

Certainly not. I never stopped.

Sam

So you want to talk? Is this about getting married tomorrow? Are you getting cold feet?

Rebecca

Certainly not. I am perfectly prepared to marry Robin and spend the rest of my life wth him. I'm just not particularly looking forward to it.

Sam

You know I don't get that. All you've done the last two years is talk about getting married to this guy.

Rebecca

Well I'll tell you. It is one thing to love somebody who's serving time for you. It's another thing serving time with them.

Rebecca

[from the back room] I need somebody to talk to. Anybody. I really need some help. [Paul walks back and comes right back out] Not Paul!

Paul

I can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped.

Rebecca

[about the former pool room] It's a tearoom.

Sam

Thanks for not making me guess.

Rebecca

So what do you think?

Sam

You want my honest first impression, my gut reaction?

Rebecca

Yes, I do.

Sam

I hate it. I hate it! I hate it!!

Rebecca

I don't understand why nobody wants to come back to my beautiful tearoom.

Frasier

Well Rebecca, a restaurant should be like a mistress. See one shouldn't feel she's over eager to please. It's far more enticing if you need her more than she needs you.

Lilith

Who is this she you're talking about, Frasier?

Frasier

Purely hypothetical.

Lilith

It's a little strange for a happily married man to go prattling on about a mistress.

Frasier

Oh come on, hon. Give me this one. You already heard me admit I was whipped in front of the boys.

Lilith

That was good.

Rebecca

Oh shoot. It's a minus. I'm not pregnant. Well we only started trying last night. I guess we can't expect to get pregnant the first time.

Sam

I thought that's what the fourth and fifth times were for.

Norm

Fifth time? Imagine that.

Cliff

I'm only up to three.

Rebecca

Carla, do you think I'll make a good mother?

Carla

Nope.

Rebecca

What do you mean?

Carla

You asked me a question. I gave you an answer.

Rebecca

But I'm serious.

Carla

Sorry I'm just being honest.

Rebecca

You're not being honest. You're being mean.

Carla

Sometimes you get a twofer.

Rebecca

I think I figured out why you haven't been able to give me a baby.

Sam

What makes you think it's my fault?

Rebecca

Well I've been doing some reading and I think I know what the problem is. You wear bikini briefs, don't you?

Sam

Sweetheart, I know the light's usually off but I do take them off.

Rebecca

I am not going to have a baby until I'll know I'll be a good parent.

Sam

Taking care of Carla's kids is not going to prove you're a good parent. It just proves you can survive in the wild.