Rebecca Howe quotes from Cheers

Rebecca

The Globe's doing an article on women who run pubs and now he wants to take my picture. I really dread this.

Sam

Why?

Rebecca

Because I get so tensed up in front of a camera. All of a sudden I look like something the cat coughed up.

Carla

Oooh, can I have an 8x10 for my mantlepiece?

Rebecca

How about a 2x4 for your bridgework?

Rebecca

[about sky diving] I just think it's really exciting - the danger of drifting through space. You know, talk about a turn on.

Sam

Please do.

Rebecca

Sam, did you come out here because you were concerned I was scared? Or did you come out here to get me in the sack?

Sam

Hey I came out here because I was concerned and scared that I would never get you in the sack.

Rebecca

I don't know what got into me. Please apologize to Vera.

Norm

Are you kidding? After that Vera should apologize to me.

Cliff

You know any female that rides around with Sammy in the car ends up going straight to bed with him.

Rebecca

I've ridden in that car.

Norm

Right.

Rebecca

Well I didn't go to bed with him.

Norm

Right and they always deny it afterwards.

Rebecca

Well, everyone, you are looking at a winner.

Carla

You were the best kisser upper? Gee what does that trophy look like?

Sam

Answer the question, what do I have in my life that isn't women or sex?

Rebecca

Come on Sam, you're a passionate guy. I bet you have a lot of things you care deeply about.

Sam

Yeah, like what?

Rebecca

Sailing.

Sam

Babes on waves. See, the doctor was right. I'm a shallow guy.

Lilith

There are two approaches a woman can take in turning her looks to her advantage. The first is to play upon the male sexual drive and turn yourself into an object of desire. I have opted for the second.

Rebecca

What's that?

Lilith

Scaring them stupid.

Rebecca

Isn't Eddie sweet? Why can't more men send flowers?

Sam

I didn't know Mormons couldn't send flowers.

Rebecca

I said "more men", not Mormon.

Sam

I know they can't dance.

Norm

No Sam, that's the Amish.

Sam

Then why can't Mormons send flowers?

Rebecca

They can!! I just wish someone would send me some damn flowers!

Sam

So why does it have to be a Mormon?

Rebecca

Oh! [walks away]

Sam

Some people you just can't discuss religion with.

Rebecca

Your husband came onto me at a local bar.

Do you mean he propositioned you?

Rebecca

Well he didn't exactly proposition me.

Well what exactly did he do?

Rebecca

He asked me about my feelings.

That is his field you know.

Rebecca

That isn't all he did. He rubbed my leg with his disgusting foot.

Sam

[to maid] She never gets tired of telling this part.

Rebecca

Oh Frasier, Lilith excuse me. I know you're probably on your way somewhere.

Lilith

Yes, we are.

Frasier

But when aren't we?

Rebecca

It's just that I have this really bad problem. It's getting so bad that I can't even sleep at night.

Frasier

Well I'm sorry Rebecca, we do have this important lunch.

Rebecca

You see I've been having these erotic dreams.

Frasier

Well lunch be damned! Our friend is in need.

Sam

Hey Rebecca, can I work the next shift? I need the overtime.

Rebecca

Sam look, I know what you're trying to do here but forget it. It's going to take you the rest of your life to save enough money to buy Cheers.

Woody

Hey if Sam says he can do it, he can do it. We have faith in you Sam. Cheers is gonna be yours. I just hope I'm still alive to see it.

Sam

On this day in Boston's History? Yeah so they run this column every day. It tells you what happened 10 years ago, 50 years ago. What are we looking for? The last time she [Rebecca] had sex?

Carla

No no no, this only goes back 100 years.

Rebecca

Why are you all so interested in my sex life?

Sam

Somebody has to be.

Sam

[about his beard] So you really think it looks sexy, huh?

Rebecca

Oh yes, Yasser Arafat always makes me hot!

Rebecca

I want you to tell me straight. How good are your kids at breaking and entering anyway? And do not brag about them just because you're their mother.

Carla

Well that depends, what kind of system are we talking about here?

Rebecca

It's a Triton 5000 Sonic with laser beams.

Carla

They're not that good. But feel free to call if you're ever trapped in a late model car. They'll have you and the radio out in 60 seconds.