Lazlo quotes from Camp Lazlo

Lazlo

Uh, I thought we were supposed to be looking for Snakey.

Patsy

Uh...Oh, yeah, we are.

Lazlo

But how come we see Snakey in the dark?

Lazlo

[running away from the snake with Patsy] But you said you're the greatest snake hunter in the world!

Patsy

I lied!

Lazlo

But what about ninjutsu?! Kung fu?! Bok choy?!

Patsy

Lied, lied, lied!

Lazlo

What about the time you beat up a snake with its own brass knuckles?!

Patsy

What part of "I lied" do you NOT understand?!

♪ Go-cart races sing this song, do-da, do-da. ♪

Raj

♪ Oh-a-do-da-day. ♪

Lazlo

♪ Oh-a-do-da-day. ♪

Clam

♪ Da-day. ♪

♪ Go-cart races sing this song, oh-do-da... ♪

Lumpus

[fed up with the Campers' singing] Will you can it with the singing?! [The Campers stopped after that]

Sir, they're just excited about building their own go-carts for the big annual race.

Lazlo

[tries to sing] G-G-Go-cart.

[as shadow puppet Lumpus] Grumble, grumble, I'm very annoyed. Slinkman! Slinkman!

Lazlo

[laughs] I love this part!

[as shadow puppet Slinkman] Reporting for duty, sir. [as shadow puppet Lumpus] I thought I told you to order the Jelly Beans lights out! [as shadow puppet Slinkman] I did sir, but they were scheduled for a shadow puppet show tonight. [as shadow puppet Lumpus, who clears throat]

Lumpus

[walks into Jelly Bean Cabin] Slinkman! Slinkman!

Reporting for duty, sir.

Lumpus

I thought I told you to order the Jelly Beans lights out!

I did sir, but they were scheduled for a shadow puppet show tonight.

Yay!

Lazlo

Now then, repeat after me: You are one with the lake!

Raj

I am one with the lake! I am stuck, like a salamander.

Lazlo

Now, just take this wet sponge... [Raj gasps, then screams] Thimble of water... [Raj screams] Drop? [Raj screams] Molecule?

Raj

[screams, then stops] Wait! Which type of molecule?

Lazlo

Uh, water. [shows Raj a molecule]

Lumpus

Attention, campers! Attention, campers! Five minutes until the start of the big...Buddy Day...swim finale. So, grab your...buddy and have a...good race! Yeah.

Lazlo

[delirious due to large amounts of blood being sucked from him by the leech] Oygawoygasoyoocha...gotta get to the lake...big RACE!

Lumpus

Slinkman, who is that scout?

Uh...Lazlo, Sir.

Lumpus

No, no, no...the fat one!

Uh...that's a leech, Sir. A sea lamprey, actually.

Lumpus

Oh...a sea lamprey? Well, see that Mr. Lamprey gets a uniform, will you?

Yes, Sir.

Lumpus

[sing song voice] Come out, come out, wherever you are.

Lazlo

Scoutmas-

Lumpus

[angry] Lazlo, look what you've done. You scared it away!

Lazlo

Actually, we scared you which caused you to scare it away.

Lazlo

Now repeat after me. I am a tree.

Lumpus

I am a tree.

Lazlo

Tree, tree, tree!

Lumpus

Tree, tree, tree.

Lazlo

Goodie for me!

Lumpus

Goodie for me.

Lazlo

Wait here.

Lumpus

Wait here.

Lazlo

[to Raj, who keeps eating some leftover marshmallows from his hat] Didn't you read the sign? There's a shortage. I thought we made a jelly cabin pact?

Clam

Jelly!

Lazlo

How can you keep eating marshmallows when you gave your word?

Raj

I thought we were marshmallow buddies!

Lazlo

[takes the marshmallows away from Raj] What about the Jelly Cabin pact?

Raj

[takes them back] Marshmallow Buddies!

Lazlo

[grabs it again] Jelly Cabin pact! [Raj eats a few marshmallows] Raj!

Raj

[points with his finger] Hey, what's that?

Lazlo

Did you steal my marshmallow?

Raj

[gasps] I am offended. I thought we were all marshmallow buddies. Well, I guess that I was wrong! [getting kicked out of the cabin] Fine! I do not need you!

Lazlo

[solemnly] We don't like doing this Raj. It's for your own good.

Raj

I do not need my own good! [Lazlo closes the door] Some marshmallow buddies you turned out to be!

Nina

Hey, look!

Gretchen

It's a couple of Bean Scouts crying.

Patsy

They probably saw the yeti and couldn't handle it.

Lazlo

For your info, yetis don't exist. And the only thing that makes a Bean scout cry is a chopped onion. If you see your yeti, tell him if you see any unicorns. [leaves with Raj and Clam]

Patsy

[annoyed, decides to return to their cabin] Come on, let's go. [but their feet are stuck on sticky marshmallow ground from Raj's tears] Oh, no! We're stuck!

[hearing the girls screaming] Did you hear that, Carl? It sounds like campers! Oh, I'm scared!

Campers are a myth, you yeti knucklehead! [Yeti 1's marshmallow drops to the ground] Uh, are you gonna eat that?

Raj

What do you know about love, Lazlo?

Lazlo

Nothing.

Lazlo

[as all the squirrel scouts glare annoyingly at him for showing up late] What's goin' on, ladies?

Patsy

I'll tell you what's going on! This shindig…

Raj

Hoedown?

Clam

Hallabaloo?

This whatever it is!

Lazlo

Are you talkin' about the dance?

Lazlo

Ohh, Raj. I'm glad Clam is getting some recognition...

Raj

I recognize him. He is the short one with the big nose.