He's not gonna die. It was a good try though. Your plan?
Uh-huh. Mayor got me the poison. He said it was wicked painful.
Your blood. As justice goes, it's not unpoetic, don't you think?
Come to get me? You gonna feed me to Angel? You know you're not gonna take me alive.
Well, look at you, all dressed up in big sister's clothes.
You told me I was just like you. That I was holding it in.
Okay then. Give us a kiss.
[Buffy and Faith fighting]
You're not getting tired, are you? I'm just starting to feel it.
What's the matter, all that killing and you're afraid to die?
You're about to get it back.
[panting] Man, I'm gonna miss this. [Buffy stabs Faith] [weakly] You did it. [Faith punches Buffy and panting] You killed me. Still won't help your boy, though. Should've been there, B. Quite a ride.
I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.
We attack the Mayor with hummus.
Just keeping things in perspective.
...
My point however is, crazy or not, it's pretty much the only plan. Besides, it's Buffy's, and she's Slay Gal, you know, Little Miss Likes-to-fight. So...
I think there was a 'yea' vote buried in there somewhere.
...
Well, he's not crazy about germs.
Of course. That's it! We'll attack him with germs!
Great! We'll get him cornered, and then you can sneeze on him.
No! No. We'll get a container of Ebola virus, and... and, um... or -- it doesn't even have to be real. We could just get a box that says "Ebola" on it, and, um... [snaps her fingers] chase him. [everyone is silent] ...With the box.
I'm starting to lean towards the hummus offensive.
He'll never see it coming.
Well, what a day this is! Special day. Today is our centennial, the one-hundredth anniversary of the founding of Sunnydale, and I know what that mean to all you kids: not a darn thing. Because today something much more important happens. Today you all graduate from high school. Today all the pain, all the work, all the excitement is finally over. And what's a hundred years of history compared to that? You know what, kids?
Oh my God. He's going to do the entire speech.
Man, just ascend already.
... for all of you it may be that there is a place in Sunnydale's history, whether you like it or not. It's been a long road getting here. For you. For Sunnydale. There was been achievement, joy, good times. And there has been grief. There's been loss. Some people who should be here today... aren't. But we are. Journeys end. And what is a journey? Is it just.. distance travelled? Time spent? No. It's what happens on the way, it's the things that shape you. At the end of the journey you're not the same. Today is about change. Graduation doesn't just mean your circumstances change, it means you do. You ascend... to a higher level. Nothing will ever be the same. Nothing.
...
It has begun. My destiny. It's a little sooner than I expected. I had this whole section on civic pride. But I guess we'll just skip to the big finish!
[in Buffy's dream]
Who's gonna look after him?
It's a she. And aren't these things supposed to take care of themselves?
A higher power guiding us?
Pretty sure that's not what I meant.
There's something I'm supposed to be doing.
Oh, yeah. Miles to go. Little Miss Muffet counting down from 7-3-0.
Sorry. It's my head. A lot of new stuff. They're never gonna fix this, are they?
Scar tissue. It fades. It all fades. You want to know the deal? Human weakness. It never goes away. Even his.
Is this your mind or mine?
Beats me. Getting towards that time.
How are you gonna fit all this stuff?
Oh, I can't use all of this.
Just take what you need. You ready?
Congratulations to the Class of 1999. You all proved more less adequate. This is a time of celebration, so sit still and be quiet. Spit out that gum. Please welcome our distinguished guest speaker, Richard Wilkins III. I saw that gesture. You see me after graduation.
[clears throat] Well. What a day this is. A special day. Today is our centennial, the 100th anniversary of the founding of Sunnydale, and I know what that mean to all you kids. Not a darn thing. 'Cause today, something much more important happens. Today, you all graduate from high school. Today, all the pain, all the work, all the excitement is finally over. Now, what's 100 years of history compared to that? Do you know what, kids?
Oh, my God. He's going to do the entire speech.
Man, just ascend already.
Maybe the two things connect. Maybe you have a place in Sunnydale's history, whether you like it or not. It's been a long road getting here, for you, for Sunnydale. There's been achievement, joy, good times. And there's been grief. There's been loss. Some people who should be here today... aren't. But we are. Journey's end. And what is a journey? Is it just... distance traveled? Time spent? No. It's what happens on the way. It's the things that shape you. At the end of the journey, you're not the same. Today is about change. Graduation doesn't just mean your circumstances change. It means you do. You ascent to a higher level. Nothing will ever be the same. Nothing.
[Everyone looks up, noticing the sun being blocked by an eclipse. The Mayor suddenly starts flinching]
And so, as we look back on... on the events that have brought us to this day...
We... We must all-- [cries out in pain] It has begun. My destiny. It's a little sooner than I expected. I had this whole section on civic pride. But I guess we'll just skip to the big finish.
Hey! You remember this? I took it from Faith. Stuck it in her gut. Just slid in her like she was butter. You wanna get it back from me, Dick?
[After Buffy lures Mayor Wilkins leads to a room full of explosives]
[Sunnydale High School is blown up]
The Watcher Council shrink is heavy into tests. He's got tests for everything. T.A.T.S, Rorschach, associative logic... [grunts] He even has that test to see if you're crazy that asks if you ever hear voices or you ever wanted to be a florist.
Ooh, I used to want... Wait. Florist means crazy, right? I never wanted to do that.
Thanks. It's all about emotional control. Plus, obviously, magic. Hey, you want to go to the Espresso Pump and get sugared up on mochas?
I'm gonna pass. Hit the pool and do some laps.
How come the sudden calisthenics? Aren't you sort of naturally buff, Buff? [chuckles] Buff Buff.
Well, they've got us running around on the physical side, too. A lot of reflex evaluation and precision training, you know. I-I just... well, I-I wanna do...
[smiles knowingly] Better than Faith?
[slightly embarrassed] So very shallow.
Competition is natural and healthy. Plus, you'll definitely ace her on the psych tests. Just don't mark the box that says, "I sometimes like to kill people."
I know Faith's not gonna be on the cover of Sanity Fair, but she had it rough. Different circumstances, that could be me.
No way. Some people just don't have that in them.
Look, I'm sorry. I know how you hate talking about Faith.
No, really, we should just...
No, it doesn't bother me. I mean it.
Are you serious about this place?
Of course I am. No Slayer of mine is gonna live in a fleabag hotel. That place has a very unsavory reputation. There are immoral liaisons going on there.
Yeah, plus all the screwing. This place is the kick.
We'll keep your old place, in case you need to see your friends there, but from now on... Oh, hey, hey, hey. Shoes, shoes.
Now, Faith, I don't find that sort of thing amusing. I'm a family man. Now, let's kill your little friend. Don't worry. I wouldn't ask you to do it. Not this early in the relationship. Besides, I think a vampire attack would less suspicious, anyway. In the meantime, let's take a look at the rest of the apartment, huh? If I'm not mistaken, some lucky girl has herself a PlayStation.
Do you want to go out tonight?
Strangely, I feel like staying at home, and doing my homework, and flossing, and dying a virgin.
You know, you can O.D. on virtue.
Between me and my evil self, I have double guilt coupons. I see now where the path of vice leads. I mean, she messed up everything she touched. I don't ever want to be like that.
Oh, hi, listen, I didn't have a chance...
PPercy
Okay, so I did the outline for the paper on Roosevelt. It turns out there were two President Roosevelts, so I didn't know exactly which one to do, so I did both. Um, and I know they're kinda... kinda short, but, um, I can flesh them out. Oh, and-and here's the bibliography. Um, and I can retype that if you want. You just let me know what I did wrong, and I'll get on it.
You want to go out tonight?
[about college] It's nice that you're excited.
It's just that in High School, knowledge was pretty much frowned upon, you really had to work to learn anything. But here... the energy, the collective intelligence, it's like this force. This penetrating force.. and I can just feel my mind opening up, you know, and letting this place just thrust into and spurt knowledge into... [considers what she's saying] That sentence ended up in a different place than it started out in.
