Wesley Wyndam-Pryce quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Buffy

New Watcher?

Giles

New Watcher.

Wesley

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, it's very nice to meet you.

Buffy

Is he evil?

Wesley

Evil?

Buffy

The last one was evil.

Wesley

Oh yes, Gwendolyn Post, we all heard. No, Mr. Giles has checked my credentials ... rather thoroughly, phoned the Council. But I'm glad to see you're on the ball as well. A good Slayer is a cautious Slayer.

Buffy

Is he evil?

Giles

Not in the strictest sense.

Wesley

Ah, this is perhaps Faith.

Faith

New Watcher?

New Watcher.

Faith

Screw that. [she turns and leaves]

Buffy

Now why didn't I just say that?

Wesley

Buffy, you will go to the Gleaves family crypt tonight and fetch the amulet.

Buffy

I will?

Wesley

Are you not used to being given orders?

Buffy

Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says 'please'. And afterwards I get a cookie!

Wesley

Now hold on, we can deal with this rationally. We have something you want, you have something we want...

A trade, intriguing... No, wait, boring. Pull off his kneecaps!

Wesley

Of course, training procedures have been updated quite a bit since your day. Much greater empasis on field work.

Giles

Really?

Wesley

Oh, yes. Not all books and theory nowadays. I have, in fact, faced two vampires myself. Under controlled circumstances, of course.

Giles

No danger of finding those here.

Wesley

Vampires?

Giles

Controlled circumstances. Hello, Buffy.

Wesley

Well... hello.

Buffy

New Watcher?

Giles

New Watcher.

Wesley

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. It's very nice to meet you.

Buffy

Is he evil?

Wesley

Evil?

Buffy

The last one was evil.

Wesley

Oh, yes. Gwendolyn Post. We all heard. No, Mr. Giles has checked my credentials, rather thoroughly, and phoned the Council, but I'm glad to see you're on the ball as well. A good Slayer is a cautious Slayer.

Buffy

Is he evil?

Giles

Not in the strictest sense.

Wesley

Well, I'm glad that's cleared up. As I'm sure none of us is anxious to waste any time of pleasantries, why don't you tell me everything about last night's patrol.

Buffy

Vampires.

Wesley

Yes?

Buffy

Killed 'em.

Wesley

Anything else you could tell me?

Buffy

Uh... one of them had swords. I-I don't think he was with the other two.

Wesley

Swords? Swords... One long, one short?

Buffy

Mmm. Both pointy. With, like, jewels and things.

Giles

Sounds familiar.

Wesley

It should.

Giles

El Eliminati. 15th--

Wesley

15th-century duelist cult, deadly in that day. Their numbers dwindled in later centuries due to an increase in anti-vampire activity, and a lot of pointless dueling. They eventually became the acolytes of a demon called Balthazar, who brought them to the New World, specifically here.

Giles

You seem to know a lot about them.

Wesley

I didn't get this job because of my looks.

Buffy

I really, really believe that.

Wesley

I've researched this town's history extensively.

Giles

So why have we not seen them before this?

Wesley

They were driven out a hundred years ago. Happily, Balthazar was killed. I don't know by whom.

Buffy

And they're back 'cause...

Wesley

Balthazar had an amulet purported to give him strength. When he was killed, it was taken by a wealthy landowner named... I don't want to bore you with the details.

Buffy

Little bit late.

Wesley

Named Gleaves. It was buried with him, and I believe the few remaining Eliminati are probably looking for it. For sentimental value.

Giles

And you don't think that this amulet poses any threat?

Wesley

Oh, no, not at all. Nonetheless, we may as well keep it from them. Buffy, you will go to the Gleaves family crypt tonight and fetch the amulet.

Buffy

I will?

Wesley

Are you not used to being given orders?

Buffy

Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says please. And afterwards I get a cookie.

Wesley

I don't feel we're getting off on quite the right foot. Ah. This is, perhaps, Faith.

Faith

New Watcher?

New Watcher.

Faith

Screw that. [she turns and leaves]

Buffy

Now, why didn't I just say that?

Giles

Uh, Buffy, would you...

Buffy

I'll see if I can get her back. Don't say anything incredibly interesting while I'm gone.

Wesley

They'll get used to me.

Wesley

My. She's cheeky, isn't she?

Faith

Uh, first word: jail; second word: bait.

Wesley

And you say this demon wanted cash? That's very unusual.

Giles

Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.

Xander

You know how some people hate to say I told you so? Not me. I told you so. Angel's back in the really bad sense, and um, I told you so.

Wesley

Angelus has turned? Xander, this is terribly serious. Are you sure?

Xander

Gee, let me think. Kind of hard to tell. Last thing I remember was his fist.

Wesley

We must contact Giles immediately.

Xander

Good thinking. Let's waste time with a lively debate. Leave Buffy alone, and see how dead she gets.

Cordelia

Slow down, Xander. This isn't Wesley's fault.

Xander

Actually, it is. Faith was your responsibility. Guess who's Angel's new playmate?

Willow

Faith and Angel? Together?

Xander

Imagine the possibilities.

Buffy

Well, I don't think I can talk any slower, Wes. I want to leave.

Wesley

What? Now?

Buffy

No, not now. After I graduate, you know, college?

Wesley

But you're a Slayer.

Buffy

Yeah. I'm also a person. You can't just define me by my slayer-ness. That's... something-ism.

Wesley

Mr. Giles! I'd like your opinion. While the last thing I would want to do is model bad behavior in front of impressionable youth, I wonder if asking Miss Chase to dance--

Giles

For God's sake, man, she's eighteen. And you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just--have at it, will you, and stop fluttering about?

Wesley

I'm not here for the council. Just tell me how I can help.

Cordelia

That is so classy! Isn't he just so classy?

Buffy

It's a start.

Wesley

So there is something I can do? Besides scream like a woman.