Buffy the Vampire Slayer · Season 4
“Who Are You?” · Season 4
In this episode: Faith Lehane (3), Buffy Summers (2), Rupert Giles (2), Spike (1), Joyce Summers (1), Riley Finn (1), Adam (1), Vampire (1)
Faith [in Buffy's body, about Faith]: Well, could be things are looking up. I mean, a little stint in the pokey. Show her the error of her ways. I'm sure there's some big ol' Bertha just waiting to shower her ripe little self with affection.
Buffy.
[in Buffy's body] I'm sorry, Mom. It's just, when I think about how she might have hurt you, I just... I can't stand it.
You know why I really hate you, Summers?
[in Buffy's body] 'Cause I'm a stuck-up tight-ass with no sense of fun?
Well, yeah. That covers a lot of it.
[in Buffy's body] 'Cause I could do anything I want and instead I choose to pout and whine and feel the burden of Slayerness. I mean, I could be rich, I could be famous. I could have anything. Anyone. Even you, Spike. I could ride you at a gallop until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up. I've got muscles you've never even dreamed of. I could squeeze you until you pop like warm champagne and you'd beg me to hurt you just a little bit more. And you know why I don't? [mockingly] Because it's wrong.
I get this chip out, you and me are going to have a confrontation.
[Buffy tries to convince Giles she truly is Buffy, despite being trapped in Faith's body.]
Buffy [in Faith's body]: Giles, you turned into a demon and I knew it was you. I mean, can't you just look into my eyes and be all intuitive?
How did I turn into a demon?
Buffy [in Faith's body]: Oh! 'cause, uh... Ethan Rayne! And you have a girlfriend named Olivia, and you haven't had a job since we blew up the school - which is valid, lifestyle-wise. I mean, it's not like you're a slacker type, but... Oh, oh! When I had psychic power, I heard my mom think that you were like a stevedore during sex. Wh-Do you want me to continue?
Actually, I beg you to stop.
Buffy [in Faith's body]: What's a stevedore?
[Faith, in Buffy's body, enters the church where three vampires are holding the parishioners hostage.]
I told the cops, they send anyone in, I start the whole massacre thing.
[in Buffy's body] Well, I'm not the cops. I just came to pray.
Now's a good time to start.
[in Buffy's body] You're not going to kill these people.
Why not?
[in Buffy's body] [earnestly this time] Because it's wrong.
You're the Slayer.
[in Buffy's body] The one and only.
You fear death. Being immortal, you fear it more than those to whom it comes naturally. Vampires are a paradox.
Okay, we're a paradox. That's cool.
Demon in a human body. You walk in both worlds and belong to neither. I can relate.
[Buffy tries to convince Giles she truly is Buffy, despite being trapped in Faith's body.]
[in Faith's body] Giles!
God!
[in Faith's body] Don't move. Okay, Giles, you have to listen to me very carefully. I'm not Faith.
Really?
[in Faith's body] Really.
'Cause the resemblance is striking.
[in Faith's body] I know, Giles. You just have to... Stop inching. You were inching.
Look, I-I know what you're gonna say, and-and, uh...
[in Faith's body] I'm Buffy.
All right, I didn't know what you were going to say, but that doesn't make you any less crazy.
[in Faith's body] Faith switched. I mean, she had some device. She switched our bodies. Giles, I swear... it's me.
Um, if-if you are Buffy, then, uh... then you'll let me tie you up without killing me, um, until we find out whether you're telling the truth.
[in Faith's body] Giles, Faith has taken my body, and for all I know, she's taken it to Mexico by now. I don't have time for bondage fun. Ask me a question. Ask me anything.
Who's president?
[in Faith's body] We're checking for Buffy, not a concussion.
Oh, yes, right. Um...
[in Faith's body] Oh, this is... Giles, you turned into a demon, and I knew it was you. I mean, can't you just look into my eyes and be all intuitive?
How did I turn into a demon?
Buffy [in Faith's body]: Oh, 'cause, uh, Ethan Rayne. And-and you have a girlfriend named Olivia, and you haven't had a job since we blew up the school, which is valid lifestyle-wise. I mean, it's not like you're a slacker-type, but... Oh, oh! When I had psychic power, I heard my mom think that you were like a stevedore during sex. What...? Do you want me to continue?
Actually, I beg you to stop.
Buffy [in Faith's body]: What's a stevedore?
All right, let's... um, I need you to explain everything.
[in Faith's body] And I will after we get Faith.
She's gone. Not a trace. Giles said the Council guys have cleared out, too.
I don't understand. How could she have... I mean, how's it possible?
Magic.
I knew there was something. I should've picked up on it. I mean, I should have just...
You slept with her.
I slept with you. Man, would I like to get my hands on her. Not in a sex way.
I don't think she's coming back.
Guess she's had her fun.
Yeah. Fun.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Buffy the Vampire Slayer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
