Cordelia Chase quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Cordelia

It must be really hard when all your friends have, like, superpowers. Slayer, werewolf, witches, vampires, and you're, like, this little nothing. You must feel like Jimmy Olsen.

Xander

I happen to be an integral part of that group. I happen to have a lot to offer.

Cordelia

Oh, please.

Xander

I do!

Cordelia

Integral part of the group? Xander, you're the-the useless part of the group. You're the Zeppo. "Cool." Look it up. It's something that a sub-literate that's repeated twelfth grade three times has, and you don't.

Cordelia

[to herself] There was no part of that that wasn't fun.

Xander

You know how some people hate to say I told you so? Not me. I told you so. Angel's back in the really bad sense, and um, I told you so.

Wesley

Angelus has turned? Xander, this is terribly serious. Are you sure?

Xander

Gee, let me think. Kind of hard to tell. Last thing I remember was his fist.

Wesley

We must contact Giles immediately.

Xander

Good thinking. Let's waste time with a lively debate. Leave Buffy alone, and see how dead she gets.

Cordelia

Slow down, Xander. This isn't Wesley's fault.

Xander

Actually, it is. Faith was your responsibility. Guess who's Angel's new playmate?

Willow

Faith and Angel? Together?

Xander

Imagine the possibilities.

Xander

The mayor is going to kill us all during graduation.

Cordelia

Oh! Are you gonna go to fifth period?

Xander

I was thinking I might skip it.

Cordelia

I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.

Oz

We attack the Mayor with hummus.

Cordelia

I stand corrected.

Oz

Just keeping things in perspective.

Cordelia

My point however is, crazy or not, it's pretty much the only plan. Besides, it's Buffy's, and she's Slay Gal, you know, Little Miss Likes-to-fight. So...

Xander

I think there was a 'yea' vote buried in there somewhere.

Angel

Well, he's not crazy about germs.

Cordelia

Of course. That's it! We'll attack him with germs!

Buffy

Great! We'll get him cornered, and then you can sneeze on him.

Cordelia

No! No. We'll get a container of Ebola virus, and... and, um... or -- it doesn't even have to be real. We could just get a box that says "Ebola" on it, and, um... [snaps her fingers] chase him. [everyone is silent] ...With the box.

Xander

I'm starting to lean towards the hummus offensive.

Oz

He'll never see it coming.

Wesley

I'm not here for the council. Just tell me how I can help.

Cordelia

That is so classy! Isn't he just so classy?

Buffy

It's a start.

Wesley

So there is something I can do? Besides scream like a woman.