Raymond Holt quotes from Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake Peralta

A permit to throw a block party? We don't even have to break the law! This is fantastic news!

Raymond Holt

I am not giving Seamus Murphy that permit. He only wants to use the block party as a cover for something criminal. A robbery, a murder or something worse.

Jake Peralta

You don't know that for sure. And that's your loophole.

Raymond Holt

I don't believe in loopholes.

Jake Peralta

What? Loopholes are the best. Remember that time when Pancake Palace had that all-you-can-eat deal, but they didn't set a time limit? I ate pancakes for a week for $3.99, all I had to do was sleep there and never shower.

[outraged] What!? Thanks for the invite, friend!

Holt

This is one of several designated areas where you can stand upright during the day. You can move about freely in this square.

Jake

Wow... so we have all this room to work in?

Holt

Your hand can be seen from the living room window. You just killed Kevin.

Raymond...

Holt

I can't hear you Kevin, you're dead. [to Jake] He bled out in your lap. How will you break the news to me? Let's see.

Jake

We don't have to do this...

Holt

Ah, detective Peralta, how are things going with Kevin, the love of my life? Wait, why are you here at this late hour? And whose blood is that?

Jake

Okay, I get it...

Holt

It's Kevin's? This is devastating, I'm inconsolable. And... [snaps fingers] I've killed myself.

Jake

Cool. Well, I can see this is going to be a fun couple of months.

So, the Department is going to settle without admitting any wrongdoing, and, because the facts of the case will remain unresolved, there will be no suspension for Marzipan, or Peralta.

Holt

How is that possible? Peralta arrested and harassed an innocent man.

Oh, come on, these are cops. They gotta make split-second decisions in life-or-death situations, and they can't be expected to get that 100% accurate every single time.

Holt

This was not a life-or-death situation!

True, but next time it might be, and how can this one do his job if he knows that any teeny tiny lapse in judgement could end with you branding him a dirty cop and ruining his life?

Jake

I've never seen this face before. Is that-

Holt

Yes. He's made me huffy. Do you know what happens when you refuse to punish cops for their mistakes? When police are treated as a separate class of citizen- above the law? It breeds a lack of trust in the community, and that lack of trust means people won't help us with their investigations, or testify, or even call us when they're in danger. It makes them more scared of us than of criminals and gangsters! It makes them run when we approach even though they've done nothing wrong! It makes the people see us as the enemy, which leads to more confrontation, more distrust. You wonder how Peralta can do his job when he's held accountable for his actions? I wonder how any of us can do our jobs, if he's not.

What a bunch of bunk. The City's gonna settle, there's not gonna be any suspensions; take the win!

Jake

Wait! What if I admitted I made an error and apologized?

He is speaking hypothetically. You'll notice he didn't use the "s" word and he never used the "m" word.

Jake

I'm sorry. I made a mistake.

Holy shit! Let the record show that he didn't say anything specific.

Jake

I arrested a man without sufficient probable cause in a case I was removed from.

He has no idea what he's talking about.

Jake

I then followed my victim to his home-

[hastily moving toward the door] Now's gonna be a good time for us to-

Jake

-in an act that could only be seen as police intimidation.

[puts his fingers in his ears] La-la-la-la-

Jake

I take full responsibility for my mistake and I'm willing to say as much in a court of law. And what's more, I'm very, very sorry!

Yeah, he has to be suspended. I'm sorry.

Oh, don't you start. [leaves; Jenkins follows]

Jake

Wow. That was amazing, you beat him! I can't believe it actually worked out okay.

Holt

You're suspended for five months.

Jake

Right. I know. But, I deserve it, and I learned a valuable lesson from all this, so I'm counting it as a win.

Holt

I get that, Peralta. But things will be a lot better when a man doesn't have to lose his job for you to learn a lesson.

Jake

Yeah. Fair enough. Thank you, sir. [pause] It was crazy when you got huffy.

Holt

So huffy!