CDChief Deputy Madeline Wuntch
I've examined his proposal; there's no proof that giggle-pig is a serious problem.
So we're just supposed to wait until it turns into an epidemic? You're like the League of Nations in '36: just hoping the Abyssinia Crisis resolves itself.
WWuntch
That's the lesson you draw from the fall of Addis Ababa? Raymond, you sound so naïve.
And you sound just like Victor Emmanuel III.
I have no idea who's winning.
[In a cafe, Lieutenant Miller of NYPD Internal Affairs and Deputy Chief Wuntch put a flash drive from Jake into a laptop and watch as a video comes on.]
Okay, I could get in a lot of trouble for this. But the big secret about Captain Holt is...
[Steps into view] ...That I have a flair for the dramatic. Look behind you, Madeline.
[Visibly shocked, Deputy Chief Wuntch and Lieutenant Miller turn around to look behind them; Holt clears his throat.]
We're actually in front of you. That's my fault. I thought the layout was gonna be different. Didn't know how you guys were gonna be sitting. I took a chance.
Miller may be in Internal Affairs, but he wasn't here on official business. You sent him to spy on us. That's a flagrant ethics violation, Madeline- and it could sink you.
WWuntch
Fine. You're right. But you can't prove that. It's just your word against mine.
Ooh, actually, it's your word against you. Pardon me- [Picks up the flash drive he'd given to Miller] I put a recording device in this dope drive, so, I got your whole conversation.
You're going to leave my precinct and my task force alone. Or else, you're... Wuntch meat.
You sure you wanna go with that one?
Absolutely. It's hilarious.
DCDeputy Chief Madeline Wuntch
For meritorious service, the NYPD bestows this award on Rosa Diaz, Jake Peralta, and Captain... Raymond Holt. [The crowd applauds; Wuntch takes the first medal and hangs it around Holt's neck.] Raymond.
WWuntch
You won. Go ahead and gloat, you toad.
Thank you for this honor, Deputy Chief.
MMadeline
[pleased] Oh. Okay. You're welcome.
Wuntch time is over! Boom, did it! Had it both ways! No regrets.
Deputy Chief Wuntch is here to see you.
Oh, please stay, Diaz. I need a witness in case her head starts spinning around or she turns into a she-wolf.
No flaccid rejoinder? Hm. What's going on?
WWuntch
I'm here on important business. I'm a front-runner for a job in the Boston P.D.
Boston? But it's so close to Salem. You do know what they do to witches up there, don't you?
WWuntch
The job is Chief of Police.
I see. So you've come to brag.
WWuntch
No. The only blemish on my record is our long history of interpersonal turbulence. The Boston Commissioner would like to speak to you about it. I've... come to ask for your help. The Commissioner will be calling y-
Wait- shhhhhhhhhh..... Oh, moment savored. So, where were we? Ah, yes- you were talking about how I hold your fate in the palm of my hand.
WWuntch
I've thought it over, and perhaps you should go ahead and show the letter to the Commissioner.
WWuntch
I'll deny I wrote it. It will take months to authenticate, which will give me plenty of time to make some personnel changes around here. There's an opening for a detective down in Brighton Beach; I think I'll transfer Diaz there. Detective Boyle, I'll send to Long Island City. Santiago will be a great fit for Pelham Bay. And Peralta? Your little pet project? I'm gonna ship him off to Staten Island. Hope he likes breaking up tanning salon fistfights. Looks like you've got a decision to make, Raymond. What're you gonna do?
[Cut to Holt exiting his office.]
Squad, if I could have your attention, please? I'm being transferred to the Public Relations office; I'm leaving the 9-9 effective immediately.
I want to say it has been a pleasure to have worked alongside all of you for the past 21-and-a-half months. I'm sorry for getting so emotional.
Pretty consistent tone, actually.
[Visibly emotional] These have been the... These have been the best years of my career.
And I know that... every one of you... gave me everything you had. And I will never forget it.
Go back to being robot, Captain!
Meep-morp. Zeep! [Clears throat] Dismissed.
Captain! I'm coming with you.
VThe Vulture
You were workin' a case! I frickin' knew it; you're a liar!
MWMadeline Wuntch
And you! You can't do anything except disobey orders and screw up!
I'm disappointed, too, Ray.
WWuntch
No one cares, Bob. And after all your so-called detective work you didn't even get the right guy! Raymond, Raymond, Raymond-
WWuntch
Do not interrupt me! Raymond, Raymond, Raymond, Raymond- seven times, once for every day your juicy, insubordinate ass is suspended.
VThe Vulture
Same goes for you, Peralta, 'cept for the juicy ass part, 'cause your ass is stupid.
WWuntch
Now get the hell outta my office!
[Jake and Holt leave Wuntch's office, but Jake stops once they're outside.]
Wait a minute, sir. You know what? Screw this!
[Jake confidently goes back into Wuntch's office but comes back seconds later.]
It's ten days now. Shouldn't have gone back in.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine · 153 quotes
