A character in Bones
Played by Eric Millegan
Bones · 1,470 quotes
7th most-quoted character in Bones: in 89 of its 1,470 quotes
Most scenes with: Jack Hodgins (48), Temperance Brennan (34), Angela Montenegro (26)
Megan Shaw is still alive.
What do you want me to do?
ZackHe wants us to guess.
Well, my guess is Hawaii.
Not Hawaii.
W-Well, guess again, but better.
Nop, sorry.
Booth, THEY don't guess.
Who's they?
[pointing at Brennan, Zack and Hodgins] THEM!
Well, that's just stupid
ZackWe do not guess.
You know what? You're a horse's ass!
Zack[referring to his Halloween's costume] Cow! I'm a cow! See my udder?
[to Zack and Hodgins] Who's stronger? Catwoman or Wonder Woman?
[together spontaneously] Wonder Woman.
I concur, vehemently!
I never liked Kyle Aldridge.
ZackHe told me once that having a high IQ was no excuse not to bathe.
I don't believe it.
ZackNo, those were his exact words, no excuse not to bathe.
ZackI had a Michael Jackson glove. I've never mentioned that before.
I loved Chevy Chase. We all have our crosses to bear.
[to Angela] Our victim... was kicked by a reindeer.
Oh. Get the hell outta here!
Zack[points to a screen] The sacrum.
Wait. The evidence actually adds up to an old, fat man with a white beard, in a custom-made Santa suit who smoked a clay pipe and got kicked in the ass by a reindeer?
[Brennan's cellphone, nestled in Baby Andy's car-seat, rings]
Brennan.
ZackI made some discoveries regarding our victim. Is this a good time?
[Baby Andy clutches at Brennan's necklace.]
No no no no no.
ZackOhh-kay...
[Zack hangs up.]
Zack? Hello? [Brennan dials]
ZackDooooctor Addy.
Uh, it's Doctor Brennan.
ZackOh. Is this a better time?
[To Andy, who is again clutching at her jewelry] No no no.
Zack[confused] Then why'd you call back?!
I wasn't speaking with you, Zack.
Zack[even more confused] I believe you are.
ZackMy regimen is easily completed in my apartment. Treadmill for 30 minutes, 100 sit-ups, push-ups and leg-lifts, and then 20 minutes of free weights. I'm deceptively strong.
I am deceived.
(Booth is walking around the lab table, staring) Booth?
Hey Bones, I'm thinking here.
Thinking about what, exactly?
Well, it's a pickle. The platform's a crime scene, but we need to access it to investigate the crime.
A "cake and eat it too" situation.
ZackIs it a cake or a pickle?
It's Schrödinger's Cat.
ZackThat I understand. Cakes and pickles meant nothing to me.
I've always been proud of you, Zack. I've never met anyone more rational and intelligent. But there's a fault in your logic.
Zack AddyWith all due respect, you aren't cognizant of his logic.
Assumption number one: Secret societies exists.
Zack AddyAccepted. Hodgins has been explaining this to me for years.
Assumption number two: The human experience is adversely affected by secret societies.
Zack AddyAccepted.
Assumption number three: Attacking and killing members of secret societies will have ameliorating affect on the human experience.
Zack AddyAccepted.
All of your assumptions are built on a first principle, Zack. To wit, the historical human experience as a whole is more important than a single person's life.
Zack AddyYes.
Yet, you risked it all so you wouldn't hurt Hodgins.
[Brennan moves closer to Zack and touches her forehead with his as both their eyes tears up.]
Zack AddyThere's... You're correct. There's an inconsistency in my reasoning.
If you wanna do one of your experiments just say it.
We wanna do one of our experiments!
ZackI'm king of the loony bin!
Yeah, you are.
I just wish Zack was here, that's all.
You gotta get over it. Zack's not coming back!
ZackI know where to find the victim's head.
[Everyone turns and stare at Zack}
This is not good.
How did you get out?
ZackYou don't look happy to see me.
Oh, we're not!
I am. I really am. (runs to hug Zack, others follow except for Booth)
Zack screamed when he saw the body so he's off the hook, right?
ZackYelped!
He screamed like slutty girl #1 on a teen horror flick.
Zack, you sure you want to represent yourself? I mean, we can request a continuance.
ZackNo, I've had many years to study courtroom procedure. I am ready.
Zack will be fine. Besides, the opposing lawyer is––
[Caroline suddenly appears in front of them.]
Is a fierce vision by the name of Caroline Julian? Is that what you were going to say, Cher? [glares at Brennan]
No.
Temperance BrennanEmily Deschanel · 767 quotes
Seeley BoothDavid Boreanaz · 756 quotes
Jack HodginsT.J. Thyne · 286 quotes
Angela MontenegroMichaela Conlin · 229 quotes
CCam206 quotes
Lance SweetsJohn Francis Daley · 128 quotes
Caroline JulianPatricia Belcher · 53 quotes
AubreyBrandee Steger · 44 quotes
Wendell BrayMichael Grant Terry · 31 quotes
Colin FisherJoel David Moore · 23 quotes
Clark EdisonEugene Byrd · 22 quotes
GoodmanCarrie Wiita · 20 quotes
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