Zack Addy quotes from Bones

Booth

Hey, Bones, come on. We've got a body. Went up like a Roman candle... Hey, Zack! How's it going?

Zack

So far they don't like me.

Booth

Shocker.

Zack

Dr. Saroyan, when I get my doctorate, I'd like to work here.

[looks at Zack intently] Zack, you're an excellent scientist but an important part of the job is appearing as an expert witness in court.

Angela

Oooph.

Zack

Oooph what?

Jurors have to take you seriously and frankly, you look like a weekend fill-in at a college radio station.

Hodgins

[smiles at Zack sympathetically] Truth hurts, dude. Learn from it and grow.

Angela

Did you really call me "the heart of the operation"?

Hodgins

Yeah. That's before you called me short.

Angela

Hey, Zack called you short. I think you're just the right height.

Hodgins

Yeah?

Angela

Short men have better leverage.

Zack

I'm feeling uncomfortable.

Zack

My doctor said most of my injuries didn't come from the explosion but from being slammed into the floor. [to Booth.] Apparently you're extremely strong.

Brennan

[to Booth.] Did you have to be so rough on him?

Booth

(plaintively) It was a bomb. I was being, you know, heroic.

Zack

How would someone eat gold?

Angela

Not eat, drink. Goldenrod.

Brennan

Goldenrod?

Angela

It's this 100 proof cinnamon schnapps that we drank in college. It's infused with real gold flakes, purely for decadence sake.

Angela

Well, it's way worse coming up. I can tell you that.

Zack

Positive ID on both sets of remains. William Chang and Li-Ling Fan.

Angela

[looking at both skeletons and their pictures] Wow, they kind of go together.

Because they're deceased?

Angela

Yeah. But more than that, they are exactly the same level of hotness.

Which is zero, because they're skeletons.

Booth

I'm not working a whole case with you attacking my beliefs. You should have just saddled up with your boyfriend.

Brennan

Your beliefs are of an invisible man who wants to run my personal life.

Zack

Death would have followed quickly caused by cranial cerebral trauma.

Booth

By the way, 90% of the world believes in God!

Brennan

And at one time most people were certain that the sun revolved around the earth.

Booth

[to Zack] You see, I don't think this is about religion at all. [to Brennan] We obviously have issues that are affecting our working relationship and you're afraid to deal with them, so you just lash out at my religion!

Brennan

Can't you just be satisfied that if I'm wrong about God, I'll burn in hell?

Booth

Ooh, that's tempting.

Hodgins

Waffle-soled shoes and a track suit.

You know who wears track suits?

Zack

Athletes?

No, huge tubs of lard or retired people.

Why do you know that?

Zack

My knowledge is vast.

Why did I ask?

Angela

Hey, do you aliens use any weapons resembling a...

Zack

A broadsword?

Hodgins

How about a lightsaber?

Zack

No. Those can cut through any known substance. The victim would've been completely dismembered.

Hodgins

Look, I'm Abby. [to Zack] You're Carly.

Zack

Why am I always the murder victim?

Hodgins

Sit.

Brennan

[chuckling] Zack's always the murder victim.

Zack

Have you been to Iraq?

Booth

That's classified information and you aren't cleared for that.

Zack

Does it hurt to get shot?

Booth

[in disbelief] What??

Zack

I've been blown up. That wasn't as bad as I expected. But I've never been shot.

Zack

Booth, is there any sense in ducking when someone shoots at you?

Booth

Your body ducks whether you want to or not. [Zack nods] Why?

Zack

[hands Booth an envelope] You can read this later then explain it to everyone.

Booth

Why me?

Zack

You know more about duty and honor than anyone else I know.

Hitting the top of the shoulder wouldn't be a severe injury.

Zack

She could bandage herself and still be ambulatory.

You know, you could say "walk around" instead. I wouldn't fire you.

Zack

"Walk around" implies aimlessness, which I'm not able to determine.

Can't believe I still ask these things.

Hodgins

[finding a rare insect] Hello, my exotic princess!

What a charmingly inappropriate greeting, Dr. Hodgins.

Zack

I think he was talking to the bug.

Well, now I feel a bit... rejected.

Zack

I will be the back end of a cow.

Hodgins

So, no costume.

Zack

Naomi from Paleontology has agreed to be my front.

Hodgins

So many jokes, so little time.