Jack Hodgins quotes from Bones

You're not capable of killing me.

Hodgins

People change.

You found something, Dr. Hodgins?

Hodgins

Ho-ho, yeah! I did a microscopic analysis of the victim's stomach contents. Did you have any suspicions about what I might find?

I knew it was meat, but there were so many additives-

Hodgins

-Delicious additives: curry paste, sea salt, red pepper, red poblano chili

I got the "Poblano Chili", where is this leading, 'cause you seem very excited?-

Hodgins

-Capers and tarragon; which I would never think to combine-

-Dr. Hodgins, this is not "Top Chef".

Hodgins

Well it-it sorta is, because, what we have here... is an expertly-prepared burger.

And this has meaning, why?

Hodgins

Because who-ever made it was masking the meat, which came from Rattus norvegicus.

Excuse me?

Hodgins

Yeah! Richard Bartlett's last meal... was a rat burger.

Yeah...

Hodgins

What kind of lunatic wants a wild animal as a pet?

I think "lunatic" pretty much describes who we're talking about.

Hodgins

I am starting a pool on how long Sweets lasts with Booth and Brennan. I say he's out tonight. [...] So are you in on the pool?

I give Sweets four days.

Hodgins

[...] So, Angie? How long do you give Sweets.

Angela

[chuckles] I say he lives with them permanently from now on.

Hodgins

[...] What do you mean "from now on"?

Angela

I mean for the forseeable future. They will adopt him.

Hodgins

I don't have a box for "infinity".

Hodgins

What kind of freak feels nostalgic over human sacrifice?

Fisher

I'm gonna go ahead and plead the fifth on that.

Angela

The artisan world. That is why I studied art in the first place. To pursue my true passion.

Hodgins

[jokingly] Hey! I thought I was your true passion.

Brennan

It's a container of some sort...[examines pod]...filled with gelatinzed human remains.

Hodgins

[looks on with fascination] At first I thought pod people.

Booth

Of course you did.

Hodgins

Hey, there's still a lot of questions remaining about the events at Area 51, you know. Do you know that UFO spottings--

Booth

[annoyed] Let's just keep it close to earth here, bug boy. Just simplify the investigation.

Brennan

[to Booth] Reminds me of a ship in a bottle. My dad gave me one when I was little.

Booth

Right. So this, uh, kinda brings up all these "warm and cuddly" memories for you. That's nice.

Arastoo

So what now? Do we just tip it over and let it drain into a tub? Or insert a tube? Or...

Hodgins

Safety first. You want to make sure everything's safe in there.

Hodgins

I've never smelt anything like that before. [gags] I mean, I suppose that that could be, um....[faints]

Booth

So what do you think? Man or a woman?

Brennan

I am uncomfortable defining sex with just a skull.

Booth

Come on. Take a stab. I won't write anything down, I promise. It's between me and you. (Brennan looks at Hodgins) Oh, well...

Hodgins

What? You don't want to take a stab in front of me?

Brennan

I feel inhibited by my desire not to embarrass myself in front of another scientist.

Booth

You should take that as a compliment.

Hodgins

What about him?

Brennan

Well we live together and thus share the same synergistic lack of inhibition which allows us to have sex without being self-conscious.

Booth

That's very romantic, Bones.

Wendell

You're the king of the lab. Or at least you used to be. Apparently, now, you're just another clueless tech.

Hodgins

[folds his arms, amused] Ok, all right, I see what you're doing there and I'm far too evolved for you to try for it to work.

Angela

Hey, you fell in love with a wild woman, didn't you?

Hodgins

Yes, a beautiful wild woman.

Angela

And that's how I will remand. Because nobody screws with Smacky Kennedy.

Hodgins

Posing naked for a hot art student. That is still a big regret of mine.

Wendell

Done it. Not a student though.

Hodgins

Really??

Wendell

[awkwardly] I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Hodgins

Stepping in on the bone stuff. This could be dangerous.

Edison

Yeah, well my middle name is danger. It's actually Thomas.

Sweets

Thomas? His name is Thomas Edison.

The boy didn't climb into a suitcase and throw himself off a bridge

Hodgins

I don't know. Could be a jackass stunt gone wrong.

You're suggesting cause of death is stupidity?

Finn

Well, it wouldn't be the first time.

Hodgins

You're talking about doing another experiment, aren't you?

Perhaps I am your brother from another mother.