Jack Hodgins quotes from Bones

[observing Cam and Arastoo through the glass from her office] Hey, if I didn't already know about Arastoo and Cam.

Hodgins

You do not know. Only I know. This is as far as Arastoo and Cam are concerned.

Oh come on! Look at them!

Hodgins

[looks at Cam and Arastoo] She's signing a requisition... [to Angela] Look, you only know because I confirmed it.

[snaps] She would've figured out that I would've known if I didn't have to hide the fact that I already knew!

Hodgins

OK, I'm gonna run away now. [leaves]

I'm surprised they have their clothes on.

S8 E18 The Survivor in the Soap

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[sees Hodgins is about to do an experiment with a shotgun and comes over] Oh no no no no no....what–– [sees Hodgins and Daisy] Really?

[Daisy hands Cam mufflers]

Hodgins

[aiming shotgun at test dummy] Fire in the––

[Shotgun shoots out flames like a dragon's breath and the test dummy catches on fire]

Hodgins

...hole. [in awe] [turns back to Cam and Daisy, who are both stunned and speechless] Sorry. Trigger was a little more sensitive than I thought.

[Cam watches on as the test dummy burns]

S8 E19 The Doom in the Gloom

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[Cam and Angela see Hodgins setting up a cannon he "borrowed" from the Civil War collection for an experiment.]

This is not necessary, Hodgins. I already double-checked the figures. A cannonball fractured our victim's leg.

Hodgins

[while working] And I am not doubting that, Angie.

Then, why exactly are you doing this?

Hodgins

[excitedly] Have we all forgotten the concept of the double blind study?

[unimpressed] Doesn't apply to artillery.

Hodgins

Theories are improved as more evidence is gathered, so that accuracy and prediction improves over time. [Cam shakes her head] For that we need independent strands of evidence from a single foundational source. You cannot argue with that.

[subtly to Cam] So he's never shot the cannon?

Hodgins

Excuse me for loving my work. Goggles and ear protection, please. [hands Angela and Cam goggles and mufflers]

[...]

[Hodgins fires the cannon]

Hodgins

We have corroboration which is exactly what we want as scientists.

[grins] Of course. Now clean up this mess.

Hodgins

One more?

No.

Hodgins

It's all set up.

No. [turns and walks away with Angela]

Hodgins

[pleads] I made another cannonball!

No.

[...]

[out of Hodgins' earshot] That was actually awesome.

Totally. He must never know.

S8 E19 The Doom in the Gloom

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And now Andrew can get a good shot of Dr. Brennan's sidekick analyzing the particulates way over there.

Hodgins

Uh...um...I'm not a sidekick. I'm king of the lab!

S8 E20 The Blood from the Stones

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[Hodgins catches up with Finn on the Forensic platform.]

Hodgins

Finn, I've got the results.

From the victim's fingernail?

Hodgins

What? No, no, no, I'm still working on that. No, I have a molecular breakdown of your Grandma's secret sauce.

Oh, forget it. I've moved on.

Hodgins

No, you haven't, your still pissed, and I don't blame you. That stuff is awesome!

My Grandmother used to put it on my Catfish...

Hodgins

Oh, you're kidd...you're killing me here. I'm not gonna let that hot sauce die. [walks over to monitor] Now, look at this. I-I took a swab of the bottle and I ran it through the Mass-Spec, right, and I almost got everything. We've got Red and Yellow Peppers, ok, Cayenne, Tomatoes, of course, Garlic, Onions, Cumin, Salt, Brown sugar, Vinegar--it's just-it's just this one compound I cannot identify, and I hoping you'd know what it was.

Yeah, it's the one thing you'll never find.

Hodgins

Alright, but I've already got a portion of the molecular chain...

Love! It's love, Hodgins. That's not gonna show on your Mass Spec. Come on, let it go. [walks away]

Hodgins

No...Finn, come on...hey. I'm just one compound away.

[Finn leaves the Forensics Platform]

Hodgins

I'm gonna burn the crap outta your mouth and you are gonna love it!

[Another lab technician looks at Hodgins and wrinkles his nose, weirded out by the comment. Hodgins feels awkward for saying that so loud]

S8 E21 The Maiden in the Mushrooms

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I hope this is important, I'm trying to find cause of death... [Smells the fried catfish.] What's that smell?

[As Angela prepares a table, Hodgins turns to show Finn.]

Hodgins

It... is Catfish, "Opie".

Oh. That wasn't neccessary, "Thurston".

Hodgins

But it was. [Points to the chair waiting] Come here, sit down.

[Finn sits down to the fried Catfish. Hodgins' hand moves to his pocket.]

Hodgins

And this... [Pulls a bottle of the hot sauce out of his pocket] This is the hot sauce.

Taste it, you are gonna love it.

[Finn reluctantly obliges]

This is... [drinks some of the sauce] Oh, my god! How did you do that?

Hodgins

Aframomum melegueta; it's more commonly as "Guinea grain". It's native to swampy habitats along the West African Coast. I have no idea how your Granny got a hold of it, but...

She used to trade with a Herbalist in the woods...Damnit...If you hadn't brought my Granny back from the dead! [starts laughing]

Hodgins

Hey, I told you I'd find it, right?

And you were right. The secret ingredient was Love. That's the only explanation for Hodgins spending so much time, and effort to do this.

Hodgins

Eat. Go, eat.

[Finn pours the hot sauce on the catfish and starts eating]

Hodgins

Hey, we shouldn't keep this stuff a secret, I mean the world would love this.

Aaaa. Very true, very true.

You should slow down a little bit, Finn. You don't wanna get a bone stuck down your throat.

[Holds up a catfish bone] Not from a baby Catfish.

[Bends the catfish bone to emphasize that it is flexible. As he looks at it, he has an epiphany on the victim's cause of death.]

That's it!

Hodgins

What?

Cause of death.

[Finn gets up, hovering between going and eating his catfish. He grabs the bottle of hot sauce before he leaves. Angela and Hodgins look bemused.]

S8 E21 The Maiden in the Mushrooms

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Hey, we're gonna get him, Hodgins. You know that we will.

Hodgins

I should've killed him when I had the chance.

S8 E24 The Secret in the Siege

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He's telling us that this is our fault.

But it's not.

Hodgins

We were trying to piss him off. Well, we succeeded and we got Flynn killed!

We did not kill Hayes Flynn, Pelant did. The only we can do is try to catch Pelant using the evidence in front of us.

What if we don't? What if this just goes on forever??

[solemnly] It won't. In fact, I almost feel sorry for Pelant.

Hodgins

[in disbelief] What?!

He killed someone who saved Booth's life.

Cam's right. Booth will never give up.

S9 E4 The Sense in the Sacrifice

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[During the wedding rehearsal inside the church]

Hodgins

Angie, it's just a rehearsal. You can't keep crying.

I can and I will.

[...]

[Sweets and Cam rush in with cardboard cut-outs of Park and Max to stand-in at the altar]

Can't forget the best man.

He'll be dressed on the day.

Booth

[to the vicar] My son is flying in later, so hey.

That's my dad.

S9 E6 The Woman in White

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[Vicar's phone rings during the rehearsal]

VVicar

[answers the call] Yes?....I do last rites but I don't do murder. [passes phone to Booth] It's for you...

[...]

[Booth and Brennan drive off to the scene of the crime.]

Hodgins

$25 on the wedding being canceled by lunchtime tomorrow.

Yeah, 50 bucks says it's canceled before the sun goes down.

Worst friends ever.

[later she does bet on the time]

S9 E6 The Woman in White

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I don't have to sleep to be more beautiful.

Hodgins

No. But it does help you to be pleasant.

S9 E6 The Woman in White

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[in shock] Oh my god, it's moving!

Hodgins

[chuckles] Yeah, it means that the larval development is almost complete. When the time comes, it'll detach its anal hooks and slide out to greet the world.

Dude, you have totally lost the plot. Angela is going to divorce you.

Hodgins

[grins] Nah, I know my Angie. When she sees this little botfly––

[in disbelief] Listen to yourself!!

[...]

Hodgins

Ah, Wendell, um...truthfully, Angie is a little unsupportive of me being a botfly surrogate...

[mockingly] What a shock.

Hodgins

I was wondering if you wouldn't mind being with me when the little guy comes out?

You want me to be your midwife???

Hodgins

I was thinking, more like birthing partner.

[speechless] I'm... going insane.

S9 E8 The Dude in the Dam

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Did you see the person who stole your identity?

[uncomfortably] Yes, and I struck her.

Hodgins

[smirks] Awesome.

Oh you have no idea. [Brennan look at her in amusement]

S9 E11 The Spark in the Park

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Aw man....yacht clubs, sailing, prep schools. You're dealing very well with the loss of your fortune.

Hodgins

Truthfully, I thought it would be harder. But, I don't know. When I'm at work, I'm not thinking about money, you know? When I'm with Angela and Michael Vincent, it never crosses my mind. I mean, even with you, the coffee's good, the company....