Temperance Brennan quotes from Bones

Brennan

"He who smelt it, dealt it."

Booth

How do you even know that phrase?

Brennan

Okay, stop. You don't know Booth. You don't know me. You have a limited view of us based on superficial data you've accumulated on a standardized questionnaire and a subjective analysis from talking to us that is not at all scientific. So back off.

Sweets

Just trying to help.

Brennan

By questioning his humanity?

Booth

Okay, Bones, now you're going a little bit overboard. He's just a kid, right? I mean, the worst thing that's probably ever happened to him was he lost at Mortal Kombat.

Sweets

Are you normally this protective of him, Dr. Brennan?

Brennan

We're partners. Our lives depend on being protective of each other.

Sweets

And you feel the same way, Agent Booth?

Booth

Sweets, I can only hope that one day you know what a real partnership is.

Sweets

You have a very deep connection to each other. That was obvious, even from my superficial observations and standardized questionnaire. You complement each other.

Booth

No, she never compliments me. Did you compliment me in the questionnaire?

Brennan

"Complement," not "compliment." "Ple." He means that we complete each other... uh... as a team.

Booth

Yeah, right.

Brennan

I'm sensing a but.

Sweets

However...

Booth

Same as a but...

Sweets

[doggedly continuing] I have observed some underlying issues that need to be addressed.

Booth

Issues?

Sweets

Yes, there's clearly a very deep emotional attachment between you two.

Booth

We're just partners.

Sweets

And why do you think I would have thought otherwise?

Booth

'Cause you're 12.

Brennan

Don't read into anything that Booth said. We're professionals. There's a line that doesn't even need to be there.

Booth

Not at all. I mean, if there were no more murders, I would probably not even see her.

Brennan

That's very true.

Booth

We might have coffee.

Brennan

Probably not.

Booth

What, you wouldn't even have coffee with me? [He's obviously hurt, Sweets is temporarily forgotten as he and Brennan lean towards each other to finish the conversation.]

Brennan

Well, in your scenario, we wouldn't even know each other, because there are no murders.

Booth

Were, I said, no more murders.

Brennan

Then fine, we could have coffee. So that's the extent of our relationship, coffee?

Booth

[Solid, now that he and Brennan have talked.] So, let's move on, Sweets.

Sweets

[Nods, but there's a tiny smile on his face from watching Booth and Brennan talk.]

Brennan

Megan Shaw is still alive.

Hodgins

What do you want me to do?

Zack

He wants us to guess.

Hodgins

Well, my guess is Hawaii.

Not Hawaii.

Booth

W-Well, guess again, but better.

Hodgins

Nop, sorry.

Angela

Booth, THEY don't guess.

Booth

Who's they?

[pointing at Brennan, Zack and Hodgins] THEM!

Booth

Well, that's just stupid

Zack

We do not guess.

Booth

You know what? You're a horse's ass!

Zack

[referring to his Halloween's costume] Cow! I'm a cow! See my udder?

Brennan

Is that your costume?

Uh, yeah.

Brennan

It's sexually alluring.

Thank you, I'm Catwoman. [Brennan looks at her blankly] The superhero.

Brennan

Oh!

One of the most powerful female superhero figures.

Brennan

I don't think so.

Are you kidding? Catwoman?

Brennan

Can you fly?

I have nine lives.

Brennan

Super strength, super speed, force people to tell the truth?

I think I'm pretty fast.

Brennan

Pretty fast is not super speed.

Brennan

[to Zack and Hodgins] Who's stronger? Catwoman or Wonder Woman?

[together spontaneously] Wonder Woman.

Brennan

I concur, vehemently!

Brennan

It's a Halloween party. We could be Wonder Woman and -- what's Superman's secret identity?

Booth

Clark Kent.

Brennan

Yes. We could be Wonder Woman and Clark Kent after a really, really bad date.

Booth

Yeah, bad date because you shot me.

Brennan

It was only a flesh wound. And you dropped me on my head.

Booth

After you shot me, okay? I think I got you on this one. Okay, Wonder Woman?

Booth

Look, we are not looking for Gorgonzola today!

Brennan

Gormogon. Gor-Mo-Gon.

Why am I talking to you?

Brennan

What time did you leave the Jeffersonian that night?

Shortly after 11. Dr. Brennan, surely I merit someone higher up on the food chain than an FBI consultant.

Brennan

Kyle, I know you get everything you want by flaunting your superior intellect. But that won't work with me.

Why is that?

Brennan

Because I'm smarter than you are.

Booth

I know your password too. It's daffodil.

Brennan

I never told you that!

Booth

What, I got eyes! I mean, you guys aren't exactly CIA material.

Hodgins

Daffodil?

Brennan

What, they're pretty. And I'm changing my password.

Booth

Daisy.

Brennan

How did you know?

Booth

It's your second-favorite flower. I know you, Bones. Try a planet! [Bones enters another password] Jupiter! [Brennan looks shocked]

Booth

This is crazy. It's -- it's not right. Tell him that it's not right.

Brennan

Is it?

Booth

Oh! You're on his side. Why don't you go play Voltron with him?

Booth

So this girl, she had this game where she would ask me a question -

Brennan

What kind of question?

Booth

It doesn't matter, okay? So if I got the question wrong, I'd have to take off a piece of my clothing. So of course I knew all the answers, but I pretended that I didn't.

Brennan

So you could take off your clothes.

Booth

Exactly. Now, my point is, I'm standing there, you know, in my socks and my St. Christopher medal, and she runs off. She runs off with the sleeping bag and all my clothes and I'm standing there starko.

Brennan

Well, why would she do that?

Booth

Well, I suppose she heard I was under the bleachers with another girl the week before.

Brennan

Okay. This is a story about sexual prowess, Booth. You're bragging!

Booth

[laughs] I had to run across the campus buck naked!

Brennan

You're laughing about it now! You enjoyed displaying your penis. It showed alpha male mastery.

Booth

[telling about an embarrassing episode from high school] So this kid, right, we're walking past and he calls us Philistines. You know what that means, right?

Brennan

Yes, an uneducated person.

Booth

Well, I didn't. I said, "Hey, I'm not Philistine, I'm Catholic."

Brennan

[chuckles] Okay, that's sort of embarrassing.

Booth

[serious] That's not the embarrassing part. My friend, he hangs the kid over the stairwell by his ankles. I laughed, Bones. I should have protected him, and I laughed.

Booth

You know, evolution is long, long process. It takes hundreds of years.

Brennan

Thousands.

Booth

Why do you always have to correct me?

Brennan

To help you evolve.

Angela

Oh my god, I'm getting flashbacks to braces and stirrup pants and a really, really bad side ponytail.

Hodgins

Certainly grew out of it. I wore Doc Martens that weighed more than I did.

Brennan

Apparently Booth was fine. He was a football player.

Angela

Right. He was one of those guys.

Brennan

I can't freak out every time somebody Googles me.

Booth

Cam, she goes nowhere alone.

Brennan

Cam, don't listen to him.

Booth

Cam, who are you more afraid of, me or her?

Brennan

Booth--

Whoa! [holds up a hand] So this is what it's like to be a kindergarten teacher.