Tina Belcher quotes from Bob's Burgers

Louise

Should we just go home and eat spoonfuls of sugar?

Tina

I know where there's a hummingbird feeder.

Gene

I'm ready for tub and tuck-in.

Linda

What? Are you kidding me?! We're not "Hallo-quitters", we're "Hallo-winners"!

Gene

But no houses are giving out candy, woman!

Linda

We don't need candy to have fun.

Louise

You shut your damn mouth.

Gene

Look at us, tracking a wild animal like it's no big deal.

Tina

Yeah, I haven't had this much fun following in somebody's footsteps since I started dressing like Mom... earlier today.

Louise

Okay, before we do this, let's talk weapons. What'd everybody bring?

Tina

Wait, what? None. Why are we talking weapons now? There was a much better time to do this, back when we were near weapons.

Louise

Well, I have extras. You're welcome. (sighs) Okay, here's what I got: ruler, for slapping or poking.

Gene

Or measuring.

Tina

Pass.

Louise

Key chain, for stabbing.

Gene

Or keys.

Louise

You could also take the key chain, and you could force it down a throat.

Bob

Yeah, you could sneak it into someone's mouth.

Louise

Yeah.

Gene

"Hey, what's that? Oh, keys in your mouth."

Tina

Wha-What else you got?

Louise

Uh, you know, mace, knife... but I'm keeping those.

Linda

Listen, that thing can be explained. I don't know how, but it can.

Tina

Well, we can't go down.

Linda

No, Bob! We have to go forward. It's like IKEA. We can't turn back.

Gene

Watch out for Swedish meatballs!

Tina

Tammy, I'm out. I can't do it anymore.

Tammy

Uh excuse me?

Tina

It's not fair. I think Brett likes me. You're Milli Vanilli, and I'm those super-talented studio musicians that probably had to sleep in the same room as Milli Vanilli while Milli Vanilli farted up the place.

Tina

Babysitting is a lot of responsibility, but at the ripe old age of 13, I think I've learned a few tricks. Watch this. (Yawns) Who's getting sleepy?

Gene

(yawns) Me. Oh, she's good.

Tina

So what do you think of Jason? I'm pretty sure he's into you.

Jason's my brother.

Tina

Ohhh, I was wondering why you both said "Bye, Mom" to the same lady. Still, there's something there...

Gene

At least you get to keep that sweet whistle.

Tina

Uh, no. I have to return it tomorrow.

Louise

Can you at least play something one last time?

Bob

Better not. It's kinda shrill.

Louise

You love mom.

Linda

What?

So you were gonna climb up that hose by yourself?

Tina

Oh, um, yup.

Really? I teach you in gym.

Tina

Well, I won, as predicted. I shutted your butts. Should we go back and see how much grease you have to clean?

Louise

You shut your butt.

Tina

You shut your butt!

Louise

No, you shut YOUR butt!

Tina

My butt is shut.

Gene

[happily] Mine's WIIIIIDE OPEN!