Louise Belcher quotes from Bob's Burgers

Louise

I hope they're using protection 'cause I am not taking care of that baby.

Louise

[as Linda drags her away] I'll see you in hell Teddy! I WILL SEE YOU IN HELL!

Louise

We're adrenaline junkies. We like our rides pure, uncut, and assembled in Meh-hi-co!

Louise

Puberty, puberty, puberty. That's all I hear when you guys talk!

Louise

I made it rain shrimp! What did you ever do?

Louise

Remember, Tina - a nerd in the hand is worth...not really that much. Never mind.

Louise

Cute? He's the reason faces were invented, you idiot!

Louise

You know a lot about bat mitzvahs for someone who thought Chanukkah was Han Solo and Chewbacca's baby.

Louise

Lower. A little lower. Just a tiny bit lower...

Louise

...Yeah, that's it. In the trash. Now stomp it down with your foot.

Louise

Oh no, if I don't do something about this Regular Sized Rudy is getting big time screwdy.

Bob

Tina, you're on the grill.

Tina

My crotch is itchy.

Eww...!

Bob

Okay... are you telling me as my daughter or as my grill cook?

Tina

Umm... As...

Bob

Because my grill cook would never tell me that.

Tina

[downcast] Oh.

Bob

Also, my daughter should probably not say anything like that to me. Tell her, tell your mom.

Tina

[turns to Linda] My crotch is itchy.

Linda

C'mere, let me see.

Bob

[as Gene and Louise crowd around Tina] Linda! Not now.

Louise

No, let's all see it!

Bob

No!

Louise

Hello. Welcome to Bob's Burgers. The burger of the day is the "Child Molester"—it comes with candy. Get it?

Hugo

[clicks teeth] Yes.

No.

Louise

'Cause sometimes they use candy to lure their victims...

Hugo

YES! WE GET IT!

Ohhhhh... hmmmm...

Do you think cows should be ground up for food?

Louise

Personally I don't really care but my father, he loves grinding them up. Gives him a rush; makes him feel alive. Daddy's a bad, bad man.

Bob

Tina, listen to me. You're not going anywhere. I'm your father.

Yes, Tina. But I am your Capoeira instructor. [starts to leave]

Tina

Wait. I'm going to class with you. [starts to follow him]

Bob

Tina, what are you doing?

Tina

Dad, you don't understand!

Bob

I understand you're grounded, effective right now!

Linda

Bob, let her go.

Bob

No! She's grounded, Lin!

Linda

We all just need a minute to calm down.

Bob

Hey, Tina, you walk out that door, and you're no longer my grill cook.

Louise

Dad, calm down. I-I'll go get her. [opens the door and shouts after Tina] YOU GET OUTTA HERE, YOU HEAR ME?! NEVER LOOK BACK! YOU ARE DEAD TO US! [comes back in] Sorry, Dad, there's no getting through to that one.

Bob

Thanks, Louise, that was... very helpful.

Louise

So you're not going to get revenge today?

Bob

No, Louise, I'm not.

Louise

OK, got it. [slyly] Then I won't bring your credit card... which I cut into a ninja star!

Bob

Oh, you cut my credit card?

Louise

Into a ninja star!