Okay, guys! Time to find new James!
[BTR cheers; first auditionee enters]
BSBad singing teen
(singing, off-key) Maaaaake it couuuuunt! Plaaaaayyyyyy it straiiiiight! Don't look dowwwwwwn...
BDBreak dancer
When you go big time! (break dances)
MGMexican guitarist
Ey, ey, listen to your heart now...
MMonk
[echoing] Oh, oh, oh-oh, ohhhhhh...
BNBlonde nerd
Oh, oh, oh-oh...
BCBlonde country singer
Oh-oh...
OSOpera singer
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(glasses break) ...Kelly, is there anybody else left in the hallway?
(sighs) Just some boy named Skippy Hickenlooper.
[They cower as Skippy enters]
SSkippy
(singing flawlessly) If you want it all, lay it on the line/It's the only life you've got, so you gotta live it big time!
(The boys cheer)
Welcome to Big Time Rush!
SSkippy
I'm so excited! ...I must now tell my dark overlord, Zorblock. Lord Zorblok, The time of prophecy is upon us!
[Skippy starts making noises as he messes up the test stage]
Maybe we can't replace James.
'Kay, Big Time Rush is now a trio.
Don't worry. We'll figure this out. Have we ever let you down?
(laughs) Have they ever let me down... (Mrs. Knight and Katie shake their heads, then Kelly does) ...That's not the point. The point is, James...is NOT COMING BACK. Now, I don't care...WHAT you sing. But LOOK LIKE you're enjoying it, or I will destroy... ALL OF YOU!!!!! (brief moment of silence)
(singing) Oh you're such a turd, oh yeah, a giant turd...
KCKendall, Carlos and Logan
And you look like a turd, and you smell like a turd! Oh, you're such a turd...
Well, they do seem to be enjoying it.
And you sme-ee-e-ee-ell... like a tu-ah-uh-urrrrrrd! (the other boys cheer and walk up to him)
I'm gonna be rich! ...I mean, hurray for friendship!
HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPP!!!!!
Don't worry, best friends of mine! This looks like a job for... (starts to hop his chair)
Yes, now! 'Cause it's time!
(sees the stairs sign) Carlos, you don't understand.
No, YOU don't understand!
Carlos, we're trying to help you!
You're not looking where you're hopping!
I can do this! IT'S TIME FOR... (tips himself in his chair down the stairs. The other three watch in disgust as noises are made)
Well...we tried to tell him. (Carlos comes back with his chair broken and the rope undone)
Ha! You really are a superhero!
No...i'm a POP STAR. Who wants to rock that concert, get our album released, and get chased by lots of girls.
Then UNTIE US! (Carlos runs to the other three)
A pre-record deal, a worldwide tour, and immediate release of their album.
My mansion back, my studio fully restocked, and the dogs want something called, uh, "Sebastian".
AND, I want you to go straight back to that studio, and write a hundred times, "I WILL NEVER DO THIS TO BIG TIME RUSH AGAIN"! (Griffin flees, and Kelly and Gustavo knuckle clash)
Whoa, whoa. Nobody informed me of this.
CMs. Collins
Yes, I did. (intense music plays) I sent all the information, e-mailed all the assignments, and was told everything was being taken care of.
Really. By who? (scene cuts to the studio where she is looking at Gustavo) ARE YOU NUTS?!?!
I didn't tell the boys about school because I needed them to focus on the tour. And I didn't tell you because you would just yell at me. Like you did just there!
900 years ago, the pilgrims came to this great land of ours in search of freedom. The freedom...TO ROCK!
The pilgrims came seeking religious freedom.
THESE ARE DIFFERENT PILGRIMS! And today, we celebrate the bravery of those headbanging pioneers for one month! ROCKTOBER. Now...are you gonna sit there and GIVE UP? Or are you gonna grab a number two pencil, STRAP ON YOUR THINKING CAP, and SAVE Rocktober?!
(stands up as superhero music plays) I'll need report covers, a glue stick, a protractor, green glitter number three, and 19 high energy sports drinks.
