Gustavo quotes from Big Time Rush

Gustavo

I realized today, sort of, that if you really want to train dogs properly, you need to throw them a treat now and then. So...enjoy your treat. You're not getting anymore.

Gustavo

We must divide and conquer! Kendall, you take Bongo Boy and drum some sense into him. Kelly, you go find Carlos and remind him that he's NOT A JENNIFER!!!!! And I am getting a shrink for James.

Gustavo

Why are you looking at each other and saying things twice?

Gustavo

...Get me blank music sheets, 13 candy canes, and a cup of cocoa with marshmallows piled high. Because we're about to pull off a big time Christmas miracle! (the others cheer)

Gustavo

But the dogs have always stuck with me and I have to do the same with them. No matter how STUPID THEY ARE!

Gustavo

Just Gustavo? Have you forgotten? I'm amazing. NOW DANCE!

Gustavo

Where am I and why am I freezing?!

Kelly

You're in Minnesota.

Gustavo

(pointing to the fans that were there) WHAT'S UP MINNESOTA?! (they all cheer) I hate all of them. And the state for freezing my latte.

Kelly

Yes, I know.

Gustavo

Also, I need a bigger coat.

Kelly

It's our last stop so just focus and try not to make everybody cry. Somewhere in here is your new big star, I can feel it.

Gustavo

I'M THE STAR! What I need is a canvas with great hair that I can paint my pop on. I need a singing block of wood that I can set on fire so please tell me where in... uh..

Kelly

Minnesota.

Gustavo

Where in Minnesota IS MY FIRE?!

I'm soo in loveee with you!'

Gustavo

Your singing makes me want to dance...OFF OF A CLIFF! NEEXT!!

"THUNDER!"

Gustavo

(puts headphones on) NEXT!!

:I love life more than anyone, doo doo doo

Gustavo

(hitting the desk) GET. OFF. THE. STAGE!

(Singing)

Gustavo

(squishes the cup so hard that the lid flies off)

(Singing)

Gustavo

(Tries to get over desk with rocket launcher )

Kelly

NO! no no! NEXT!

(barks as if he was singing)

Gustavo

That's actually the best singing we heard all day! NEXT!

Gustavo

Listen here sister, that's the worst singing I've ever heard IN MY LIFE!

Kelly

You know these people have feelings right?

Gustavo

Oh, neat. Wanna know what I have? 29 platinum records, I don't need feelings. What I need is the guy or girl the record company paid me a million dollars to find to make my fire and if you and I don't find him or her? WE'RE FIRED! (a guy comes in to sing) KEEP WALKING, DON'T STOP AT THE MICROPHONE, JUST KEEP WALKING AND GOODBYE!

Kelly

Don't worry, sign ups are until five and it's..one minute till five..

Gustavo

AHHH!!

Carlos

Dude, how did you know those songs?

Kendall

They play Boyquake on the 90's channel all day at work, and I made up the giant turd song.

Logan

It was catchy.

What happened? The truth, now!

Logan

Mrs. Majecowsky helped us try to make James famous.

Carlos

But this producer guy was super mean to everyone.

Kendall

So I sang him the Giant Turd Song and there was a tiny fight, but NOBODY GOT HURT!

James

And now I'm really sad.

Okay! Who wants sandwiches?

Ooh Me!

Katie

Whoa! Wait! That's it? That's your interrogation? You didn't put the screws to 'em or slap 'em with the hard cheese!

I don't know what you're talking about, but you aren't allowed to watch FOX anymore!

Katie

Well can I at least hear the Giant Turd song?

Oh you're such a turd, Oh yeah, a giant turd. And you look like turd, and smell like a turd... (door bell rings so they go open it but they are still singing) Oh your such a turd oh yeah a giant turd and you look like a turd and...AHH!! (they see Gustavo and Kelly standing outside their door)

James

YES! (he goes and hugs Gustavo) I knew you'd come back for me.

Gustavo

(pulls away James) I'm not here for you! I'm here for him! (points at Kendall)

James

What?!

What?!

(from the kitchen) I'll make some tea

Gustavo

I'm Gustavo Rocque! I'm amazing! I'M AMAZING. And if you think for one second that i'm so desperate because i've toured 22 cities and haven't been able to find anybody, you can think again! Because there is no way-NO...WAY-GUSTAVO ROCQUE...is taking the four dogs from Minnesota to Los Angeles to make them stars! It's never gonna happen! NEVER!!!!!

Kendall

...So, we have a deal.

Gustavo

Yep.

Kendall

Do any of your songs not have the word "girl" in them?

Gustavo

Well, let's find out, Mr. Question Everything I Do! Let's take a look at my WALL of PLATINUM RECORDS! (walks up to his wall) Let's see, there's uh... "Girl Like You". "Girl, You Are My Girl". "Hot Girl". "Cold Girl". (Carlos and Logan watch in dissentment) "Girl 2 My Heart". "Yard Squirrel Christmas". I forgot that one was there. Uh, "Girl Zone", "Girl Zone Remix", "Girl Cake", and "Girl Girl Girl", which sold THREE MILLION COPIES, and was NUMBER ONE...FOR FIVE...WEEKS! (walks up to Kendall) Any other questions...DOG? (slaps his cheek)

Kendall

Are any of those songs from this Girllenium?

Gustavo

(to Carlos) YOU...can't sing! (to Logan) YOU...can't sing, OR dance!

Logan

But I can backflip.

Gustavo

Stop it!

Logan

Okay.

Gustavo

Forever.

Logan

Hm.

Gustavo

(Looks at James, but skips to Kendall) Worst of all. You don't even seem to WANT this!!

Kendall

(Coughes feathers)

James

What about me? I sing, dance and I want this.

Gustavo

YOU...remind me A LOT of Matthew McConaughey.

James

Awesome.

Gustavo

I CAN'T STAND MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY!!

Gustavo

Carlos still can't sing. Logan still can't dance. And I still can't stand James!

Kendall

We'll work on it!

Gustavo

... Okay, now you can celebrate.

Kelly

Just let them go to the Palm Woods!

Gustavo

The day I let them beat me IS THE DAY I-is that a goat?

Kendall

You know the rules with sport at the school level right?!

Gustavo

WHAT?!?!

Logan

And you like our goat? The name of goat is Gus -Short for Gustavo!