Kelly quotes from Big Time Rush

Kelly

Kiss your mother, Hortense!

Kelly

Ok. Who was the first-

Gustavo

Where am I and why am I freezing?!

Kelly

You're in Minnesota.

Gustavo

(pointing to the fans that were there) WHAT'S UP MINNESOTA?! (they all cheer) I hate all of them. And the state for freezing my latte.

Kelly

Yes, I know.

Gustavo

Also, I need a bigger coat.

Kelly

It's our last stop so just focus and try not to make everybody cry. Somewhere in here is your new big star, I can feel it.

Gustavo

I'M THE STAR! What I need is a canvas with great hair that I can paint my pop on. I need a singing block of wood that I can set on fire so please tell me where in... uh..

Kelly

Minnesota.

Gustavo

Where in Minnesota IS MY FIRE?!

I'm soo in loveee with you!'

Gustavo

Your singing makes me want to dance...OFF OF A CLIFF! NEEXT!!

"THUNDER!"

Gustavo

(puts headphones on) NEXT!!

:I love life more than anyone, doo doo doo

Gustavo

(hitting the desk) GET. OFF. THE. STAGE!

(Singing)

Gustavo

(squishes the cup so hard that the lid flies off)

(Singing)

Gustavo

(Tries to get over desk with rocket launcher )

Kelly

NO! no no! NEXT!

(barks as if he was singing)

Gustavo

That's actually the best singing we heard all day! NEXT!

Gustavo

Listen here sister, that's the worst singing I've ever heard IN MY LIFE!

Kelly

You know these people have feelings right?

Gustavo

Oh, neat. Wanna know what I have? 29 platinum records, I don't need feelings. What I need is the guy or girl the record company paid me a million dollars to find to make my fire and if you and I don't find him or her? WE'RE FIRED! (a guy comes in to sing) KEEP WALKING, DON'T STOP AT THE MICROPHONE, JUST KEEP WALKING AND GOODBYE!

Kelly

Don't worry, sign ups are until five and it's..one minute till five..

Gustavo

AHHH!!

Kelly

Just let them go to the Palm Woods!

Gustavo

The day I let them beat me IS THE DAY I-is that a goat?

Logan

You locked him in the supply closet?!

James

No...banana man did. (holds up a banana)

This is a total lease violation! (sees the swirly slide) ...Man. Nice swirly slide. (to the boys) I want all of you out of here...TOMORROW!

Kelly

How 'bout I add another grand to your "making it happen" fee? (takes a check and gives it to Bitters)

Have a Palm Woods day!

Gustavo

The bad boy is a rock and roll tradition.

Gustavo

Notice: The back turned to the rest of the band. Bad boy.

Gustavo

Notice: the back turned, the dark clothing, and the scowl. Bad boy.

Kelly

But there can only be one bad boy per group, as learned from the bad boys experiment of '95.

Gustavo

Didn't sell a single CD.

Kelly

You told me to get him to stop sneezing, and I did.

Gustavo

But he can't sing! And we have to sing this love song, because the record company wants a love song, AND I STILL HATE THIS SONG!!!!!

Kelly

Well, he refuses to take an allergy shot, (waves her arms around) AND I'M NOT A NURSE!!!!!

Gustavo

Your yelling has improved. But more like this: GET HIM AN ALLERGY SHOT!!!!!!!

Carlos

We have to destroy it!

Kelly

No! Gustavo said you can't break anything else.

Kelly is dumb, women are weak.

Kelly

Oh, WHAT did he just say?!?!

You heard me, cupcake.

OH, IT'S ON! [they take beating devices and run into the foam]

[as Carlos and Kelly are destroying it] I was just-ow!-kidding! Can't you-ow!-take a joke? Ow! Tell the blender I love herrrrrr- [dies]

Gustavo

In light of recent skunky events, I have decided...NOT to kill you. (the boys sigh) HOWEVER! You blatantly disregarded my orders to stay away from Jordin Sparks. And proved, once again, you are BAD...LUCK...RUSH!!!

Gustavo...they're not bad luck. They're good luck.

Kelly

Um, they knocked you down a well.

Yeah, but if I hadn't fallen down the well, I would have never figured out the song.

Gustavo

They helped you figure out the song?

Yeah! It's not a solo...it's a duet.

Gustavo

(laughs) Duet? Duet...with Big Time Rush. That is the most-greatest idea I've ever had.

Kelly

How come all your friends got Hollywood fever, and you didn't?

Gustavo

Because HE has a normal brain, and his friends have the brain of a cricket.

Kelly

So do you want me to line up more directors or not?

Marcos

(enters the room) So the pretty pretty car goes into the...

Gustavo

NOOOOOOOO...

Marcos

MARCOS CAN DO THIS! (he leaves. Gustavo turns to Kelly)

Gustavo

All directors are idiots. That's why i'm gonna direct the music video myself.

Kelly

...Because you're an idiot.

Gustavo

No...because my video is going to be...AWESOME.

Gustavo

ALRIGHT! Are you ready to make the best music video of ALL TIME? EVAH???

Kendall

Oh, Gustavo...Kelly said she wanted to see you outside.

Gustavo

Fine! But DO NOT MOVE! (he goes outside and finds Kelly) Hey! Boys said you needed to see me?

Kelly

No? (she gasps. They both go back inside to see there is nothing in the room except the green screen)

Gustavo

I hate those dogs...

Gustavo

[claps slowly] We came here to CHEW YOU GUYS OUT!!! But... (Kelly thumps him) Great video.

Kelly

(thumps him again) AND?!?!

Gustavo

Great director...

Marcos

OH! MARCOS LOVES YOU! (jumps into Gustavo's arms and kisses him)

Gustavo

...Should I remind them that preparing for a concert will be the hardest thing they've ever done? And that it's not in Times Square?

Kelly

Oh, let them have their fantasy. They look so happy!

Gustavo

FINE...i'll give them another minute. Then I'll burst their bubble!