The Boys quotes from Big Time Rush

Carlos

We've been in L.A. for six months. When are we going to meet some totally hot and cool celebrity like Jordin Sparks?

Excuse me? I'm looking for Mr. Bitters?

[start getting up and look at the magazine cover then at Jordin Sparks]

WHAT?!

WHAT?!

WHAT?!

WHAT?!

Katie

WHAT?!

WHAT?! ...I mean, yeah. The Big Time Rush...is dead!

Kelly

Okay, guys! Time to find new James!

Gustavo

Let's do it!

(singing, off-key) Maaaaake it couuuuunt! Plaaaaayyyyyy it straiiiiight! Don't look dowwwwwwn...

Gustavo

NEEEEXT!

When you go big time! (break dances)

Gustavo

NEEEEXT!!

Ey, ey, listen to your heart now...

AYE, CARAMBA!

Gustavo

NEEEEXT!!!

[echoing] Oh, oh, oh-oh, ohhhhhh...

Gustavo

NEEEEXT!!!!

Oh, oh, oh-oh...

OH!

Whoa, oh...

Oh-oh...

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Gustavo

(glasses break) ...Kelly, is there anybody else left in the hallway?

Kelly

(sighs) Just some boy named Skippy Hickenlooper.

Gustavo

Okay, alright.

(singing flawlessly) If you want it all, lay it on the line/It's the only life you've got, so you gotta live it big time!

Gustavo

Welcome to Big Time Rush!

(cheering)

I'm so excited! ...I must now tell my dark overlord, Zorblock. Lord Zorblok, The time of prophecy is upon us!

Kendall

Maybe we can't replace James.

Gustavo

'Kay, Big Time Rush is now a trio.

Is this your first 5am super sale?

Yes.

Good luck.

(confused)

Logan

"Good luck?" What does that mean?

Kendall

It's for my mom! (fighting over a sweater with another woman)

Kelly

Actually, you wrote Yard Squirrel Christmas in five minutes and it's still your biggest selling single. (screen close-ups to show a platinum record) Ever.

It's a yard squirrel Christmas, and all we need is this!

Gustavo

YARRRRRRRRRRRD SQUIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRELS!!!!!!!!

Gustavo

It was just a STUPID novelty song, with SPED-UP voices, and I HATED it!

Carlos

Hey! I loved that song.

EVERYBODY loved that song.

Gustavo

I write the best pop songs IN THE WORLD and I will NOT be remembered for some STUPID SQUIRREL SONG!

Kelly

Okay, I just pushed our flights back four hours.

(all talking on phones)

Gustavo

And how are we doing on our celebrity search?

Kendall

(hangs up) I just got off the phone with Lady Gaga's people.

Gustavo

Ooh! What did she say?

Kendall

"Who's Big Time Rush?"

Gustavo

What about Jordin Sparks?

Logan

Out of town for the holidays. Just like every other celebrity we could sing with.

Gustavo

(grunts angrily)

Carlos

On the bright side, astronaut Buzz Aldrin is very interested. (Everyone looks at him.) Second man to walk on the moon!

James

There's got to be some celebrity that's still in town! (slams his fist on the remote and TV changes channels)

(on the TV) So join me, Miranda Cosgrove, from my Have Yourself a Miranda Little Christmas Special live from Los Angeles. (Everyone starts looking at the TV) With duets with your all of your favorite stars like international superstar Fabio, Lightning the T.V. Wonder Dog and-

James

(pauses the t.v. and the boys go to the TV)

Big Time Rush!

Gustavo

How?

Carlos

It'll be another Christmas miracle.

(come in and greet Miranda)

Kelly

Press record! Press record!

Gustavo

Fiji here I come! (presses record)

Do you guys want to sing a song with me?

Yeah sure.

Gustavo

(turns around) AHHHHHH! (gets hit by a limo)

(shocked and sees the limo stop and the window opens)

Snoop Dogg

Please don't tell me I just ran over a reindeer.

SNOOP DOGG?!

Carlos

It's a Christmas miracle!

WHAT?!

Gustavo

WHAT?!

Kelly

WHAT?!

Snoop Dogg

WHAT?! Yeah, I gotta be there in fifteen minutes.

Well...Grandma may not like it, but I...love it! (the others cheer. Kelly hands him a disk which he then hands to his executive) Upload this immediately so kids can enjoy a big time Christmas all around the world. And I...will enjoy big time profits.

Snoop Dogg

I had fun, boys, but I GOT to get to my Grandmama's!

And we gotta get to Minnesota!

Kelly

Well you can all make your flights if you leave RIGHT NOW.

Gustavo

(holds up suitcases) HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Logan

RUN!

Kendall

RUN!

Snoop Dogg

RUN!

James

RUN!

Carlos

RUN!

RUN!!

Merry Christmas Mr. Bitters!

What is all this?

Katie

It's Christmas, with friends.

I don't know what to say.

Say "Merry Christmas."

(with emotion) MERRY CHRISTMAS!!