Jessi quotes from Big Mouth

Jessi

Why do you smell so good?

Connie

Because I don't wear deodorant and I only take bubble baths.

Jay

I mean, look at you! You're like a square, sexy box. I just want to, like, take you to FedEx and fill you full of packing peanuts.

Jessi

Stop! I hate this dress. My stupid mother made me get it.

Jay

Oh, yeah, moms are so stupid. They're always passing out drunk in the bath instead of signing your field trip permission slip.

Connie

The kid's a little weirdo.

Jessi

Yeah, he's nuts!

Connie

And you like him! Why you like a little weirdo?

Jessi

I don't know! Ugh, what is wrong with me?

Connie

You're gonna be one of those weak women who goes for bad guys with stupid brains and garbage dicks!

Jessi

Look, you should all calm down. We already live in a society that fixates on the female form in a psychologically decimating way to many young women.

Lola

Boo, feminism! I am NOT with her.

Jessi

Okay, well, anyway --

Lola

MAGA MAGA MAGA!

Jessi

I heard somewhere that nobody likes their boobs.

Missy

I like my boobs.

Lola

What boobs? You're flatter than the Earth.

Missy

Actually, the Earth is not flat.

Lola

Tell my pastor that.

Jessi

What if I get caught?

Connie

That's what makes it so exciting! Like screwing a stranger at a minor league baseball game.

Jessi

Shannon, Shannon, Shannon. What are you going to buy me today?

Connie

Why not just take what we want and save that money for Bonnaroo tickets?

Nick

If you guys take me to ice cream, I will give blowjobs to everyone.

Jay

All right. Let's do this.

Jessi

Jay!

Jay

What? A blowjob's a blowjob. Don't be gay.

Shame Wizard

It seems you've been replaced with a better model, not unlike how latex replaced ivory as the material of choice in the dildo industry.

Jessi

What is he talking about?

Connie

Ignore him. He's just trying to sell us Nazi dildos.

Shame Wizard

Oh, no no no no, I assure you, ladies, they are not for sale.