Oh no, is this Yanni? [pause] Uhh...oh, this is Pink Floyd.
Are they from England?
Yep. Just another gang of wussies from England.
P
You know, I'd really like to go to England. You wanna know why, Butt-head?
Uhh, okay.
Because, um, I just think, like you know, since everybody's a wussy over there, you know, I could just go around and kick everybody's ass, and then I could probably get some chicks because I'd be the only guy who's not a wussy. Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
Uhh, I think you'd probably be even be a wussy, like you know, to them.
No way, Butt-head, I could kick some ass. They'd be like [sings] "The grass was greener..." and then I'd come up and kick 'em in the nads - "Wha-ha!" - and then I would score.
Yeah, but I think their nads are so small in England that, like, it'd be pretty easy to miss.
Well, okay, so I'd kick 'em in somewhere else. Just...just shut up, you always mess up my...my dreams! Butthole!
Settle down, Beavis.
You know, if you didn't know anything about these guys, and just heard the name "Pink Floyd", and then you heard this crap, you know, you'd probably think that it was just like, total wuss music.
Uhh, it is wuss music, Beavis.
Whoa, look! Big bingo balls!
Pizzicato Five, Twiggy, Twiggy
Hey Butt-head, check this out. [sings in a fake Mexican accent] Let us put the man and woman together and find out which one is smarter...that was cool
What language is this?
Uh...I think it's like...French.
Really?
Or Mexican, or something.
I can sing in French; check this out. [Beavis sings in a fake Japanese accent; the only coherent words are "taco supremo]
That was pretty good, Beavis! You sound just like those dudes.
Whoa! Check it out, Butt-head! That's that guy from My Three Sons! That's Ernie from My Three Sons! See? Back in the doorway? That's him!
Oh yeah! That is him. Check this out. [Imitates Ernie] Hey Uncle Charley. Seems like a lot of work to me.
[Also imitating Ernie] Hey Uncle Charley. I think I'll go put on a stupid dork outfit and go dance like a wuss for a while.
[Continuously imitating Ernie] Hey Uncle Charley. I think me and Chip are gonna dance around like a bunch of dorks.
And then, like, Uncle Charley's like [Imitates Uncle Charley] Dammit Ernie, I'm trying to make a cake here! Will you get out of the kitchen and quit acting like a dork?!
[laughs] Yeah.
Yeah. My three son-of-a-bitches.
Buster Poindexter, Zat You Santa Claus?
BBuster
ZAT YOU, SANTY CLAUS!?!?
[Beavis does a spit take]
This guy seems pretty cool!
Look at his nose! I bet this guy could pick his nose with his big toe!
Yeah, yeah! That's cool! I do that sometimes!
Oh yeah? That's pretty cool.
Hey Beavis.
What?
If you eat your own boogers, does that make you, like, one of those "cannibists"?
Yeah, it makes you one of those, one of those uh, uh, "cannilbulsists"!
How come boogers don't, like, stink?
Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's like, they look ugly, so it's like you think they would stink.
Yeah. Actually, I think they look pretty cool!
Yeah, yeah, me too!
Poison, I Want Action
This is so horrible, I can't even begin to talk about how much this sucks.
Yeah yeah, really. Look at these buttknockers!
Remember back when they used to play videos by these guys all the time?
Yeah, that really sucked.
Yeah. It's a good thing they're gone.
Yeah, really.
Wait a minute. That dude right there, I think he's that dude who drives the snack truck now.
Oh yeah. That's right, he's got a mustache now, and he's just got long hair in the back.
I bet these guys like practice their little wussy dance movies.
Yeah. Guitars up! Two, three, four and kick!
It's like, [high-pitched voice] Bobby, I smeared my lipstick when I kissed my finger. Can I borrow some of yours?
You're a little too good at that, Beavis.
[the names of the band members are flashed onscreen]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.