TV show quotes
Oh no, I think this is that video where this guy just sits there and, like, mumbles the whole time.
Yeah.
I think it's called "Numb."
It should be called "Dumb."
Yeah, yeah. [reacts to someone tying a rope around The Edge's eyes] Yeah, yeah, get his mouth! Yeah, tie it around his mouth!
Yeah. Tie his jaw shut.
[a man whispers something in The Edge's right ear]
That guy's saying, [softly] "Uh, excuse me, Edge? This really sucks, maybe we shouldn't do this."
Oh yeah.
[Bono starts singing in The Edge's left ear]
And then Bono's saying, "If you don't stop singing, I'm gonna make out with you."
Yeah, yeah, yeah. "And I'm gonna rub my chin all over your boobs."
Yeah.
[two women are licking The Edge's face]
Wait a minute! This is cool.
[another woman starts dancing in front of The Edge]
Boy, he's got a lot of self-control not to like, you know, do anything about that.
Uh, yeah, but you can't see his hands.
Ohh yeah. Oh yeah.
[[two feet are pressed against The Edge's face]
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Kick him! Yeah, there you go, yeah. Shove your foot in his mouth!
Yeah.
[a woman takes a picture with The Edge, then kisses his cheek]
Ooh, yuck! She just kissed him where that chick put her feet! That's yucky!
Yeah.
Check this out. [a man whispers in The Edge's ear] "Thank you very much, Edge, now will you please get the Hell outta here?"
Yeah, yeah. "Up yours." [The Edge appears to give the man the finger] Yeah.
What is this?
Yeah. What is this?
This is that Ugly Kid Chode.
How come he calls himself "Ugly Kid" and it's like, he's not even that ugly?
Do you find him attractive, Beavis?
No way, Butt-head. Shut up!
All right, Van Halen!
Van Halen kicks ass!
Yeah-hh!
Uh...
Uh...
Um...hmm...
Uh, ohh boy.
Umm, is this Van Halen?
Uh...yeah, but it's like, where's Eddie?
Yeah, I mean, you know, I mean, how could they fire Van Halen from Van Halen?!
Yeah.
[two football players are shown]
[scoffs] Athletes.
Yeah.
Uhh...this is kinda like, a country video. 'Cause it's like, you know, it has, like, football players and like, old people and dogs and stuff in it.
Yeah, yeah, it's like, every time you watch TNN, all the videos have that stuff in 'em.
Yeah. All they need now is a big pickup truck.
Ohh yeah, yeah.
[as the video starts with Jake Walden looking sensually at the viewer]
Uh, I don't like the way he's looking at me.
Come on, you wanna start something?
Yeah, it's like his lower jaw sticks out further than his upper jaw. You kinda look like that too, Beavis.
No, I don't.
This guy's like, trying to make his voice scratchier than it is.
... even whores can fall for someone...
[imitating Walden's singing] "Even whores fall for someone..." Anyway Beavis, your lower jaw sticks out further than your upper jaw just like this dude.
Dammit, Butt-head, it does not.
I think that's part of the reason you look so stupid.
No way, Butt-head. I look cool. Not like this guy.
... I'm just speaking from my heart...
Are you listening, Beavis? He speaks from the heart.
He speaks from his butt.
You know Beavis, he actually kinda sounds like you, too.
Shut up, Butt-head!
[sensually looking at the viewer] ...Tell 'em go and search for someone...
Look at his face.
[does a horrified spit take] AHHHH! That was horrible!
I think maybe you need to listen to it again, Beavis. [begins to rewind the video]
Butt-head, do not rewind it.
Maybe you're not listening with your heart.
No, no, come on Butt-head, no no no, don't rewind it, come on! Butt-head, no! [Walden looks at the viewer sensually again] AHHH, NO! Come on! Butt-head, no! No no!
I have said all I have to say.
Dammit, Butt-head... [wretches] I need to go throw up.
You think those guys sleep in separate beds?
No way!
Why are these guys so snotty?
Yeah. They look all pissed off.
Yeah! And tired!
[a man is up against a wall in the background]
What's that guy doing back there?
He's wang chunging.
That guy's peeing!
That's cool! I peed in the gym once!
Really? You're pretty cool, Beavis!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
