[video opens with David Lee Roth rock climbing]
He's stuck in a crack.
Just Like Paradise
[guitarist is shown playing a heart-shaped guitar]
Whoa! That guitar is cool!
Yeah. It's shaped like one of those things.
Yeah. Like that tattoo on your mom's butt.
No, that one's on her shoulder. She's got a battleship on her butt.
Oh yeah.
[mocking David Lee Roth's long hair] And remember, I'm not only the Hair Club president, I'm also a member!
You said "member." That was cool.
Sing, fat boy! Sing!
Paradise sucks. Yeah.
She's My Machine
Uh...who the Hell is this?
Um...um...um...
Uh, this guy sorta sounds familiar.
Yeah, yeah. He kinda looks familiar, too. Um...umm...is this Adam Curry?
No. Uh, is it Sting?
No, that's not Sting, that's umm...uh, oh, I know, that's Miss Romano from, um, from, uh, uh, One Day at a Time!
No it's not! I think it's David Lee Roth?
Yeah, yeah right. Um...maybe it's, umm--
Beavis, I think this is David Lee Roth. Oh my God!
Oh! Yeah, yeah, it's him! Where are all the chicks?
I don't know. It's like, something's wrong with him.
Yeah. I'm concerned about him.
Run-D.M.C., "Down with the King
This is a def jam. These guys are def.
Whoa! You mean they can't hear?
No, Beavis!
Hey, Beavis. Are you down with the king?
Are they talking about, like, Don King?
No, dumbass, he was talking about Burger King.
Yeah.
PRPete Rock
...since kindergarten, I acquired the knowledge, and after 12th grade, I went straight to college.
Whoa! College sucks!
Yeah. I don't like knowledge, either.
RuPaul, "Supermodel (You Better Work)
This chick is hot.
Oh yeah? Would you make out with her?
Yeah! I'd be all over it!
Really? That's a guy, Beavis.
No way!
You want to make out with a dude!
He's got a nice butt, huh, Beavis?
Shut up, Butt-head!
Ooh! He's sexy, huh, Beavis?
Shut up, Butt-head!
Rush, "Stick It Out
[video opens with a shirtless man in dreadlocks]
Whoa, is that Jesus? Is that our Lord Jesus Christ?
Uh, no, I think it's Lenny Kravitz.
Umm...no, I think it's... [disappointed] oh, it's Rush. Oh, God.
Yeah.
[imitating the Rush song "The Spirit of Radio"] Invisible airwaves crackle with life! Bright antennae bristle with the energy! Um, this guitar sounds kinda cool, though.
Yeah. If you happen to be a wuss.
Oh yeah.
A dude with dreadlocks and tattoos strapped to a chair. That's a good idea for a video.
Um, didn't they do that before?
Yeah, but like, this guy's on a pole.
O - oh yeah, yeah. No, wait a minute, Butt-head! I think they already did that, too, I saw a dude, like, strapped to a chair up on, you know, like, on a pole.
Yeah, but he didn't have dreadlocks.
Um...umm, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. He had tattoos, though. That's what I was thinking.
Yeah, it's like, they've had dudes with dreadlocks strapped to a chair on a pole...
Yeah.
...but they didn't have a tattoo.
M hm.
And it's like, they had dudes with tattoos tied to a chair...
Yep.
...but like, they weren't on a pole...
Yep.
...and they didn't have dreadlocks.
Yeah, I remember that. Yep.
So this is, like, you know, all original and stuff.
Yeah, that's right. That's right. M hm. [chuckling] Pole.
Yeah. Pole.
I think I saw Lenny Kravitz tied to a cross once, too.
No, Beavis, that was Jesus!
Oh, oh yeah, yeah. You're right.
[Butt-head changes the channel]
Sagat, "Why Is It? (Funk Dat)
[a little boy stomps on Sagat's foot]
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! STEP ON HIM! Kick him in the nads! KICK HIM!
Yeah! Funk dat!
Funk dat, funk dat!
Salt-N-Pepa, "Push It
I like chicks with leather jackets.
Yeah! Me too!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.