Smart Beavis quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Beavis

Um...um, is this, is this, um, Cheech & Chong?

Butt-head

Yeah. Cheech & Schlong.

Beavis

Yeah. Buttcheeks & Schlong.

Butt-head

Remember that album your uncle had with these dudes on it?

Beavis

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That was cool. Remember that one where that guy was gonna go downtown and, like, show his schlong to somebody?

Butt-head

Yeah. [sings in a deep voice] "I'm gonna go downtown, gonna see my gal, gonna show her my schlong."

Beavis

Yeah, yeah, that was cool.

Butt-head

Yeah. And the guy keeps going, [deep voice] "Uh, you know. Uh, you know."

Beavis

Yeah. [deep voice] "Uh, you know." Yeah. "Uh, you know." Uh, yeah.

Butt-head

Yeah. "Gonna see my gal, uh, you know."

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. That was a good song, I wonder how they think stuff like that up?

Butt-head

Yeah. They need to do songs like that again.

Beavis

Yeah.

Butt-head

Whatever happened to that album?

Beavis

Um...I broke it, remember? I slammed it against the wall. It like, shattered.

Butt-head

Oh yeah. That was cool!

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I thought it was pretty cool, yeah.

Beavis

These guys are in a trash truck!

Butt-head

Yeah. Somebody probably threw 'em away.

Butt-head

You know, this would rock if it was, like, just louder.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. LOUD, LOUD! Why don't you just, like, turn it up?

Butt-head

If I'm gonna bother messing with the remote, I'll just change the channel.

Beavis

Um, okay. Do that, then.

Butt-head

Uh, okay. [changes channel]

Beavis

AAH! AAAH!

Butt-head

UGH!

Beavis

THIS SUCKS!

Butt-head

THIS SUCKS!

Beavis

Yeah.

Butt-head

Hey, Beavis. You think if I sang like a wuss, I could get some chicks?

Beavis

Well, you look like a wuss...

Butt-head

Shut up, Beavis!

Beavis

...and you talk like a wuss...

Butt-head

I'll kick your ass like a wuss if you don't shut up!

Beavis

Um...is this Led Zeppelin?

Butt-head

Uhh...I think this is, like, one of those things where, like, they say it's Led Zeppelin, but it only has, like, one of the original dudes in it.

Beavis

Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like, they always do that. But you can tell who the original dude is because he's fat, and he's got, like, white hair.

Butt-head

Whoa, that dude has hips like a woman!

Beavis

Yeah.

Butt-head

That sucks when guys, like, just put out the same stuff over and over again. [chuckles] I said "put out."

Beavis

Yeah. But um, yeah but, but really, that - that sucks when like, when like, guys just repeat themselves. And just do the same stuff over and over.

Butt-head

You said "eat themselves."

Beavis

Um...

Butt-head

Rep-eat themselves.

Beavis

Oh yeah.

Butt-head

I think this is, like, where they like, show how they made the video.

Beavis

Um...um, I thought this was the video.

Butt-head

Uh...no, Beavis! This is, like, the making of the video.

Beavis

Really? They should just, like, show the video because, like, this thing sucks!

Butt-head

Is that that guy from Cheers?

Beavis

Yeah. That's that Sam Malone guy.

Butt-head

Whoa! Cult rules!

Beavis

Yeah. These guys kick ass!

Butt-head

That would be cool if you could, like, watch this video over and over again.

Beavis

Yeah. You could do that if you had one of those uh, those uh, CPRs.

Butt-head

Yeah. Those things are cool.

Beavis

He's gonna boot on someone!

Butt-head

Yeah. That would be cool.

Beavis

He's gonna boot!

Butt-head

I wish I could rock like this.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. They rock! They ROCK! They ROCK!