Smart Butt-head quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Butt-head

Uhh!

Beavis

Ahh! What was that? Damn it, now it's rocking.

Butt-head

Damn it. Now all of a sudden, this video has to go and be cool right when I'm trying to get some damn sleep.

Beavis

Yeah, really. If they're gonna rock and kick ass, at least it should happen while we're awake.

Butt-head

It still has all this blurry crap.

Beavis

Well, um, at least the music is in focus.

Butt-head

Uhh...oh yeah.

Butt-head

I think this is a buzz clip.

Beavis

You know, um, I always thought, y'know, like, a buzz clip, like, was where, um...y'know, like, they had something in the um...um...you know, where they, uh...[the pair resume sleeping]

Beavis

[yells] HEY MAN NICE SHOT!!!

Butt-head

[disorientated] Uhuhhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh!!

She'll make you breakfast/She'll make you toast...

Beavis

He knows a chick who makes toast? So what?

Butt-head

Yeah. I can make toast.

Butt-head

Uh-oh. I think this is college music.

Beavis

Yeah. You can tell because that dude has orange hair. You can also tell it's college music because it's like...they're in a field.

Butt-head

Yeah. Fields suck!

Butt-head

How come he keeps singing about these people that he knows? Who gives a rat's ass?

Beavis

Yeah. [sings off-key] I KNOW A GUY!!! HIS HAIR IS ORANGE!!! HE SUCKS!!

Beavis

We oughta try, like, picking up a chick in the laundromat.

Butt-head

Uhh, why?

Beavis

Because, like, you could look at their underwear and say, "So, I bet that underwear was on your butt." You know what I mean?

Butt-head

That's pretty cool. Or you could go up to one, and say "So I see you wear underwear. I wear underwear too. Wanna do it?"

Beavis

Yeah, yeah, that's even better! And then you can say "Since you're already doing a load...", heh, load..."Since you're doing a load, why don't you do my underwear too?" And then you can, like, pull down your pants, and then you already have your pants off. So you're already halfway there.

Butt-head

And then your underwear would be in there with her's.

Beavis

I'm ready for love.

Beavis

Hey, check it out, that looks like that Jungle Ride.

Butt-head

Oh yeah. That's so stupid. You get in there and then there's that guy with that safari hat on and stuff.

Beavis

When I used to go on that thing, I used to just like, jump off the boat and wade around in the water, and go off into the bushes and sit there by myself. And then I'd stand up and pull down my pants and go "Poopapoo!"

Beavis

You know, another cool ride to jump off of is the Haunted House. I used to like, go in there, and jump off the car. Then I'd go over by the witches and wait 'til the next car comes, and then I'd put a broom up my butt and go "Poopapoo!".

Butt-head

Beavis, witches don't put brooms up their butt, they put 'em between their legs.

Beavis

Really? I wish someone had told me that before I ruptured my sphincter. I have a splinter in my bunghole the size of a pencil.

Butt-head

Uhh...you're just joking, right?

Beavis

Um...no.

Butt-head

Hey, that's that dude from Nirvana.

Beavis

Butt-head, I don't think that dude's with us anymore. You shouldn't say that.

Butt-head

I'm talking about the drummer, dumbass.

Beavis

I've never seen that drummer before in my life. That's not him.

Butt-head

No, buttmuch! I'm talking about the drummer from Nirvana is playing guitar here.

Beavis

These are nice colors. They're all orangey and pretty and stuff.

Butt-head

Uhh, Beavis...do you, like, swing on that side now?

Beavis

Do I swing? No, I haven't...I haven't been to the swing since I was, like, eight years old. I don't even think we have a swingset anymore. What are you talking about?

Butt-head

Uhh, never mind, Beavis. Dumbass.

Beavis

Why are all these dudes dressed up in white?

Butt-head

Uhh, I think it's like, they all drive ice-cream trucks.

Beavis

Yeah, that would be cool. Y'know, Like, if instead of that dorky music the ice-cream truck plays, if they played this.

Butt-head

Yeah. And then they'd take the ice-cream and throw it at you and scream.

Beavis

Yeah! And then you just, like drive the ice-cream truck across your lawn and just tear ass, and be like "I DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING, BWAAA!!!" That would rule!

Butt-head

Whoa! She's one of those grubby girls.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah!

Butt-head

She wants me.

Beavis

Me too.

Sex was something I just had...

Butt-head

Whoa! She just had sex?

Beavis

Yeah!

Butt-head

Why don't they show that?

Beavis

Yeah! She said she just had sex.

Butt-head

It wasn't with any of those guys.

Butt-head

If this video had some explosions, it would be the coolest video ever.

Beavis

Yeah, and like, if the music was cool too.

Butt-head

Oh yeah. And they'd have to have some like, better singing.

Beavis

Yeah, and not those guys.

Butt-head

Yeah. Then it would rule.