Hey Butt-head, change it, come on, this sucks.
Uh, let's just cool out for a minute, Beavis.
Ummmmmmmmmm.......
“F”
In this episode: Smart Butt-head (25), Smart Beavis (25), Mike Patton (2)
Come on, Butt-head, this video sucks.
Uh, it sucks now, but like, there's something cool later.
Really?
Yeah, just cool out.
Come on Butt-head, this sucks, what happens?
Uh, it's like it sucks and sucks, and then it's like, it's over. It's really cool.
Oh yeah, yeah. I can hardly wait 'til it's over! This is gonna be cool!
[They begin to fall asleep]
[slaps Beavis] Wake up, butthole, you're gonna miss the cool part!
Oh! Oh, thanks! So like, um, is it over yet?
Uh, here it comes! Yes! Yes!
Yeah!
Cool!
Yeah! It's over! Yeah, that was cool!
Faith No More, Diggin' the Grave
Uhhhhhh. I'm tired.
Hey Butt-head, you know who these guys are?
No, and I don't care, either.
This is Faith No More.
[sarcastic] Yeah, right. Faith No More.
No, I'm serious. See, they have a new sound, and a new look.
They just look and sound like everything else.
I don't know, it kinda rocks.
I wanna lay down. Move over!
No way! I'm gonna sit right here and watch this.
Come on, Beavis, get up!
No way, Butt-head! I always sit here.
Beavis, I'm gonna give you ten seconds to get up.
I've been sitting here for years, and you've been sitting there, and it's like, why change now?
Come on, Beavis! Besides, it's like, you always sit too close to me.
No way! If I move over any more, then there's a spring that goes up my bunghole.
Hey Beavis, my uncle was over here, and he left a six-foot poop in the toilet, and he didn't flush.
Really?
You should check it out.
Is it still there?
Yeah.
Let me go have a look. [exits. Butt-head lies down on the couch.]
Faith No More, Easy
I know it sounds funny but I just can't stand the pain...
BHBurt-head
That doesn't sound funny.
[referring to a man dressed in women's clothing] That chick's pretty hot.
Yeah.
Ooooaaah.
They must have just did it and now she's like, fixing herself up.
Yeah, heh heh. After I do it I like to y'know like, comb my hair and then like, y'know, then like, flush the toilet and stuff.
[The camera cuts back to them, and Beavis is combing his hair.]
Uh huh huh! You monkeyspank.
I'm easy like Sunday morning...
What's so great about Sunday morning?
Yeah. Sunday morning sucks.
Yeah. Afternoon is no picnic either.
You know what really sucks is evening.
Yeah. In fact, the whole day sucks.
Yeah. Every single day sucks.
Fatima Mansions, The Loyaliser
Well, I guess I'm gonna read a magazine. [picks up a magazine]
Uhh...you don't know how to read, Beavis.
Yeah I do, I can sorta read. And um, besides, there's like lots of pictures of cleavage in the back. Do you mind if I just read this magazine for a while?
I don't give a rat's ass what you do, Beavis.
Ah boy. Yep. This magazine's pretty cool. Whoa, check it out. Wow. Whoa! Something else.
Uhh, I'm not gonna ask you what you're looking at, Beavis. So quit trying.
Heh. I'll be damned. Whoa, check it out. This is that dude from Love Boat. Look. He looks all old. It's like, he has a dog. And I think that's his son. That's great. What is this we're watching, Butt-head?
Uhh, nothing. Do you have any other magazines?
Ah, no. Just this one.
Can I read it when you're done?
No. No you can't. This is mine. It's for me. It's for me to read.
Beavis...
Whoa, this guy was working construction, and he had like, this big pole like, shoved through his butt, it came out the other end, and it's like, he's still alive. And he has a gigantic bunghole now.
Where'd you get that, Beavis?
I got it in the dentist's office. They're like, just there. They're free, you can just take them.
Boy, I'm bored. Where is that dentist's office, Beavis?
You know where it is, it's over by Maxi-Mart.
Oh yeah. I'm gonna go get a magazine.
Filter, Hey Man, Nice Shot
Oh no. Just look at this crap. It's, like, another one of those videos where you don't even remember it right after you saw it.
You can't remember any videos right after you saw 'em, Beavis.
Yeah I can. That's how I know this is one of those videos.
I'm getting tired of seeing all these videos where it's all out of focus and it's all blurry and blobby and a bunch of art crap.
Yeah, really.
Art sucks.
Yeah, it's all like...you know there's all this stuff, and there's like, all these colours...
Yeah. It's all, uhh...[the pair fall asleep]
[the instrumentation shifts in dynamics, focusing more on distorted guitars]
Uhh!
Ahh! What was that? Damn it, now it's rocking.
Damn it. Now all of a sudden, this video has to go and be cool right when I'm trying to get some damn sleep.
Yeah, really. If they're gonna rock and kick ass, at least it should happen while we're awake.
It still has all this blurry crap.
Well, um, at least the music is in focus.
Uhh...oh yeah.
I think this is a buzz clip.
You know, um, I always thought, y'know, like, a buzz clip, like, was where, um...y'know, like, they had something in the um...um...you know, where they, uh...[the pair resume sleeping]
[the video ends]
[yells] HEY MAN NICE SHOT!!!
[disorientated] Uhuhhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh!!
The Flaming Lips, She Don't Use Jelly
WCWayne Coyne
She'll make you breakfast/She'll make you toast...
He knows a chick who makes toast? So what?
Yeah. I can make toast.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.