Smart Butt-head quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Beavis

She said "cream."

Butt-head

Yeah. Excuse me, Beavis, I have to go spank my monkey.

Butt-head

Whoa! These chicks are horny!

Beavis

YEAH! YEAH! How come chicks are only horny like that, like, on TV?

Butt-head

Uhh...they have these places where horny chicks are, but it's like, you gotta have a fake ID.

Beavis

Oh. Oh yeah.

Butt-head

Dammit. I've seen this video about a million times!

Beavis

Yeah yeah, me too! I've watched this video, like, a zillion times, and it's like, she still never takes her clothes off! I keep, like, waiting for her to get out of that tub or something. She never does!

Butt-head

Beavis, it's the same video! If she doesn't get naked the first time you see it, she's never gonna get naked.

Beavis

How do you know, Butt-head? You know, she might, like, decide to get crazy or something. Here it comes. See? Stand up, stand up! STAND UP!

Butt-head

Beavis! She's not gonna be naked! It's the same video every time!

Beavis

No way, Butt-head. You don't know that. I th - I think she's gonna be naked. Yeah! Yeah, yeah! Maybe she'll do it this time! Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Show it!

Butt-head

Dumbass.

Beavis

She's got that stuff in her hair.

Butt-head

Yeah. That stuff's called jelly curl.

Beavis

Really?

Butt-head

Buttknocker.

Beavis

Hey! Don't call me that, Butt-head! I'm serious!

Butt-head

Uh, okay. Dillhole.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's better.

Beavis

She looks like that Peter Frampton chick.

Butt-head

Yeah. These chicks aren't as cool as the Cycle Sluts.

Beavis

Yeah.

Butt-head

And L7.

Beavis

Yeah. They kick ass.

Beavis

Hey, Butt-head. Are you sure these are chicks?

Butt-head

They better be. They're giving me a woodrow.

Beavis

Yeah. Me too.

Butt-head

Whoa! Scummy people.

Beavis

Yeah. Scummy people are cool.

Butt-head

Slimy people.

Beavis

Yeah. Slimy people rule.

Well now she's smoking on the devil's johnson...

Butt-head

Whoa! Did you hear that, Beavis?

Beavis

WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?

Butt-head

He said "devil's johnson"!

Beavis

No way, Butt-head, they don't let 'em say that stuff on TV.

Butt-head

Well, he just said it!

Beavis

No way, Butt-head, he must've said "Don Johnson."

Now she's smoking on the devil's johnson...

Butt-head

He said it again!

Beavis

Yeah, yeah! YEAH! I heard it! He keeps saying it again!

Smoking on the devil's johnson...

Beavis

Yeah, he said it again! He keeps saying it again and again! Yeah!

Butt-head

Maybe he's saying "Magic Johnson."

Beavis

Yeah. I got a magic johnson.

Butt-head

Yeah. Beavis' magic johnson. It disappears into his hand.

Beavis

Shut up, Butt-head!

Butt-head

Hmm.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah.

Butt-head

This seems pretty cool.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah! Ooohh, baby! Ye-eah!

Butt-head

Ooh, baby!

Beavis

Yeah. This chick is hot!

Butt-head

Chicks are cool!

Beavis

Yeah, yeah.

Butt-head

This chick's pretty hot, but it's like, she has a tendency to wear too many clothes.

Beavis

If she would just, like, take that damn turtleneck off, then it's like, "Heeeeyyy, baby! yeeaahh!"

...heading my direction...

Beavis

WHOA! Whoa, did she say "erection"?!

Butt-head

I hope so!

Beavis

I'll say. Errrection!

Butt-head

I don't care if you say it, Beavis!

Beavis

Oh yeah. Well - well, I think she said it. Really.

Butt-head

Dammit, this video's been on for two minutes, and she's still not naked.

Beavis

Well, her face is naked.

Butt-head

So what, Beavis? Every girl's face is naked!

Beavis

Really? That'd be cool if, like, they put clothes on their face, but then, like, not on their body. Yeah. I'd settle for that.

Butt-head

Yeah! I bet chicks would go for that!

Beavis

Ass naked rules.

Beavis

Whoa! Whoa! WHOA!

Butt-head

Uh huh.

Beavis

BOOBS AND BUTTS! Whoa, whoa!

Butt-head

Whoa!

Beavis

Whoa, look at her! Whoa, look at that! Yeah!

Butt-head

Boy. If this dude here can get these kind of chicks, we might actually be able to score someday.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Butt-head

Beavis, we need to start a band. Today.

Beavis

Yeah, really. Whoa, look at her!

Butt-head

I mean, like, right now. While we're sitting here on our butts...

Beavis

BOOBS!

Butt-head

...chicks are probably doing it with dudes in bands.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. I'm tired of, like, sitting around and talking about it. Let's do it! Yeah!

Butt-head

Yeah. Just as soon as this video's over.

Beavis

Uh, oh. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Butt-head

Like, in our band...

Beavis

Uh huh.

Butt-head

...we're gonna, like, sound just like this, and have the chicks and everything...

Beavis

M hm.

Butt-head

...but we'll have cooler cars.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. And then, like, the cars we do have, it's like, they'll blow up. And they'll have, like, skulls and stuff on 'em. Ye-eah!

Butt-head

Yeah! That'll be cool.