[Batman tricks Clayface into confronting him in a recording room, where he turns multiple screens showing headshots of Clayface's past roles]
What are you doing?! Stop it!
BatmanLook at them, Hagan. Look at what you used to be.
Batman
You can play those roles again, Hagan. Let me help you find a cure.
[begins to shapeshift into his past roles] No! Hagan's gone! Make him stop haunting me! Stop it! Turn them off! I can't control it! I can't be all of them! Not all at once!
[Clayface starts smashing the control panels, yanks off one of the screens and throws it at Batman, who dodges; the screen hits the big screen, causing an explosion; the police arrive to see Clayface in his shapeshifting seizure as he shifts his face into Bruce Wayne]
OOfficer
Mother of mercy. It looks just like Bruce Wayne.
[Clayface punches through two screens, electrocuting him and reverting back into his true form and he topples over; Batman walks up to Clayface]
You know what I'd have given for a death scene like this? Too bad I won't get to read the notices. [faints]
LFLucius Fox
I'm just glad to know it wasn't really Bruce Wayne who attacked me.
Thank you, Mr. Fox. All charges against Wayne have, of course, been dropped. And Roland Daggett remains in custody.
[as Alfred turns off the TV, Batman is experimenting with a piece of Clayface's clay]
My word, sir. I should think after all this, it would time to rest.
Batman
Look. A piece of clay left behind when they took Hagan's body away. Watch. [zaps the clay with electricity, causing it to morph into multiple shapes]
Electricity has no effect on it?
Batman
Exactly. [scene changes to a morgue where a doctor uncovers Clayface's body; voice-over] I wouldn't be surprised if the body they took to the morgue was only a shell [Clayface's body cracks and crumbles into little pieces] Don't forget, first and foremost, Hagan was an actor. [scene changes to Teddy outside the hospital] He said it himself, Alfred. He called it a scene. Maybe the greatest scene in his career.
[sadly] See you 'round, Matt. [walks away]
Batman
A death scene so real... it fooled us all.
[a woman laughs as her voice grows deeper and her eyes turn yellow, revealing her to be a disguised Clayface]
You miserable little nobody! If I get caught, your wife and son are history!
You're not getting caught. Not this time. I found this blown out of the van. [He pulls one of the Joker's bombs from his jacket] This is how it ends, Joker. No big schemes, no grand fight to the finish with the Dark Knight. Tomorrow, all the papers will say is that the great Joker was found blown to bits in an alley, alongside a "miserable little nobody". [chuckles] Kinda funny. Ironic, really. See? I can destroy a man's dreams too! And that's really the only dream you've got, isn't it?!
Look, Charlie, you've had a busy day! All this running around, all this excitement with...BATMAN! Stop! You... you're crazy!
I had a good teacher! [chuckles] Say goodnight, Gracie!
NO! BATMAN! BATMAN! [sees Batman in the shadows, and gasps] How long have you been there?!
Batman
Long enough. Put it down, Charlie.
You know he'll just escape again! This is the only way my family stays safe!
All right, you win! Take it easy! [gives his notebook to Batman] Here's everything on his blasted family - names, addresses, it's all there! You're no fun anymore, Charlie.
Hey, Joker! [throws the bomb at the Joker, who hides behind Batman - only for the "bomb" to release harmless confetti] Gotcha!
[Batman lets out a short laugh]
Oh, very funny. A million laughs.
Batman
Go home, Mr. Collins.
Home. I never thought that could sound so good. I wonder what Bonnie's making for dinner. Right now, anything would taste great. Even meatloaf.
Batman
Here's how it works, slimeball. I have questions, and if you have answers, I'll leave you alone.
Oh, I have plenty of answers... thirty-eight caliber answers. Now then, you were saying?
Batman
[Using Thorne as a shield] I was saying, you'd better hope your men are very good shots. It's too hot in here. Let's get some air.
Terrific. Just what I need now. The freak job in the cape.
Batman
You're no prize yourself.
[strangling Batman] What can I tell you now? Being a reptile man ain't pretty... but it's got its upside. Like having the strength of a crocodile, for instance! But I guess you've learned that by now, huh? [forcing Batman into the water] The hard way. You know, they used to call "Killer Croc" the meanest dude in the Wrestling Federation. Now they'll call him the guy who iced the Batman!
Batman
[flip-kicks Killer Croc and gets out of the water] Don't hold your breath.
Batman
Give it up, Croc! I know everything now. You plant that toothpick on the dock, didn't you? And you impersonated Bullock at the jail.
Yeah. And it would have gone down smooth if you had buttered in. But, hey, I'm adaptable! When you grow up looking like I do. You gotta learn to go with a flow. I'll just take care of you first, then Bullock. [wheels the pipe on Batman]
Batman
Ah! [Thud to the sewage water]
[comes out] See, this ain't no batcave; you're on my turf now.
There's enough powder in that helmet to panic a pachyderm! He should be postering himself, crying for mercy!
Batman
Change of luck, Scarecrow?
Batman
You're aware that gambling is illegal in Gotham?
I need the money, Batman! You know the cost of chemicals these days. And it will take much more than this to bring every pathetic person in Gotham to their knees, kissing my feet! [reveals a vial of his fear chemical and dangles it above the crowd] No closer, Batman! Unless you want a stampede of half-crazed humanity crushing and clawing each other! Now... what guarantee do I have you won't follow me?
Batman
You have my word, Scarecrow. Just don't drop the vial.
Actually, Batman, I'd prefer a little insurance that you'll be otherwise occupied! [drops it]
Batman
Hold it!
Well, well. The Batman. It's about time you showed up! I suppose you want to know why I've brought Downtown Gotham to a standstill, Batman. Hm? Well, let's just say it's because I'm a civic minded citizen with a lot of time on his hands.
Batman
I want some answers, wise guy. Talk.
A pity. I don't know what to tell you, Batman - except perhaps that the 9:15 is always six minutes early.
(He falls off the building and lands safely on the roof of an oncoming train as it speeds away)
Batman
Stop this, Fugate! Hill committed no crime against you!
TFTemple Fugate
He did worse than that! He made me late!
Batman
Fugate! You can't escape!
Au contraire, Batman. You of all people should know, there's always a way out.
(Fugate laughs as a huge clock wheel falls on him, sending him to his apparent death)
[Batman has cornered Jervis Tetch, who just subdued Alice with her mindcontrol card and is at a dinner table with him]
JTJervis Tetch/Mad Hatter
I'll cut that cowl off your neck before you'll take her! I've waited my whole lonely life for her!
Batman
Then all you've waited for is a puppet. A soulless little doll.
It didn't have to be this way! You made me do this to her!
Right now, the bark is merely exoskeletal. It will take months of additional spraying before the transformations become irreversible. But, of course, I have the patience of a redwood.
Batman
And the convictions of a fanatic.
Well, if you're not going to be part of the solution, you're obviously part of the problem. Ladies? [Ivy's henchwomen begin to spray Batman with the growth formula] This spray is triple-strength, Batman. It will start the transformation without any preliminaries. [Nothing seems to happen to Batman as he unties his hands] He should be sprouting leaves by now.
Batman
[Unties his hands and stands up, blocking the spray with his cape as he advances] You made your secret too accessible, Ivy! I coated my outfit with a herbicidal antidote!
Keep spraying! [Violet and Lily back away, still spraying, but Batman subdues them both]
"Batman"
You're not well, Mr. Wayne. You need professional help.
LIAR! You knew what's going on! This is a dream, and you're the one responsible!
"Batman"
A dream? Why do you think that?
I suspected it from the start! I knew I was right when I tried to read the newspaper. The print didn't make sense.
"Batman"
Yes...?
That's because reading is a function of the right side of the brain. While dreams come from the left side. It's impossible to read something in a dream!
"Batman"
Granting that's true, how is it my fault?
I can't explain it. But you're the key to this. I knew you'd be here. This tower is part of my nightly patrol. Now, tell me what's going on!
Batman: The Animated Series · 277 quotes
