Mad Hatter quotes from Batman: The Animated Series

Mad Hatter

Oh, you're a clever one! But I will not be denied! As the great Lewis Carroll said: "One, two, one, two, and through and through the vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head, he went galumphing back!"

I'll cut that cowl off your neck before you'll take her! I've waited my whole lonely life for her!

Batman

Then all you've waited for is a puppet. A soulless little doll.

Mad Hatter

It didn't have to be this way! You made me do this to her!

Bruce Wayne

[Looking down off the ledge, preparing to jump] You're wrong! There IS a way out!

Mad Hatter

Now, now wait just a minute! You don't want to do anything foolish! This isn't an ordinary dream! What if you're wrong?!

Bruce Wayne

THEN I'LL SEE YOU IN YOUR NIGHTMARES!

Batman

WHY? Why did you do it?!

Mad Hatter

You, of all people, have the GALL to ask me that? You RUINED MY LIFE! I was willing to give you WHATEVER life you wanted, JUST TO KEEP YOU OUT OF MINE!

Mad Hatter

Stop!

Yes, stop. Leave him to the police.

Mad Hatter

Thank you. Thank you, you generous, forgiving, [draws a gun from his hat] noble fool!

Two-Face

Basic fifty-fifty option. You get him off, you both go free. He goes down, you take the fall with him.

Mad Hatter

Amusing idea, what? Kidnapping you to be Batman's attorney?

Two-Face

Personally, I suggested a quick slug between the eyes... but I lost the coin toss.

Scarface

Court is now in session! The Good People of Arkham Asylum vs. the Self-Righteous Vigilante Called Batman! Our prosecutor is ready, likewise our fair and impartial jury.

Mad Hatter

Hang him!

Harley

Shoot him!

Killer Croc

Hit him with a rock!

Scarface

And now, all rise for the most honorable, most benevolent, most merciful Judge Joker!

Joker

GUILTY!

Janet Van Dorn

I was promised a chance to defend my client!

Joker

Oh, very well. Like it'll make a difference.

Janet Van Dorn

I suppose that you, like your friends, claim that Batman drove you to be a criminal?

Mad Hatter

He did.

Janet Van Dorn

And yet, as I recall in your case, you brainwashed and kidnapped a woman who rejected you.

Mad Hatter

Batman forced me to do it! He was going to take her away from me! I had no choice!

Janet Van Dorn

You could have respected her wishes and left her alone.

Mad Hatter

I'D HAVE KILLED HER FIRST! [gasps and covers his mouth, then turns to the Joker] I'd like that last statement stricken from the record, please.

Joker

Record? Is someone supposed to be writing this down?

Janet Van Dorn

And so it's Batman's fault you lead a life of crime?

Poison Ivy

He should have let me bump off Harvey Dent. We'd all have been better off - wouldn't we, Harv?

Two-Face

[muttering while flipping his coin] Why, you rotten little...

Janet Van Dorn

But Miss Isley, isn't the real motivation for your crimes your obsession with plants? That you prefer them to people?

Poison Ivy

I love plants, honey, but a rose is a rose.

Janet Van Dorn

Then it doesn't bother you when someone, let's say the judge here, [plucks the flower from the Joker's robe] ruthlessly plucks a defenceless flower from the warm green earth?

Poison Ivy

No!

Janet Van Dorn

Even knowing he's given it his death sentence? That its petals must die? [starts pulling its petals out]

Poison Ivy

Stop it...!

Poison Ivy

One by one, withering, falling. One by one till it's all gone, honey.

Mad Hatter

Miss Ivy, please!

Scarface

You look beautiful when you're angry.