Batman quotes from Batman: The Animated Series

Batman

WHY? Why did you do it?!

Mad Hatter

You, of all people, have the GALL to ask me that? You RUINED MY LIFE! I was willing to give you WHATEVER life you wanted, JUST TO KEEP YOU OUT OF MINE!

Batman

[About the Bat-Signal] Got a new toy, I see.

I figured it might come in handy.

Robin

If I knew it was going to take THIS long, I would've brought my homework. You sure about this extortion ring?

Batman

[Looking at the construction site through binoculars] Uh-huh.

Robin

It's been four hours.

Batman

Uh-huh.

Robin

You still think they'll show?

Batman

Uh-huh.

Robin

Lucky for me, you're such a good conversationalist.

No, don't! Please...

Batman

Robin! Enough. You can't let your emotions get the best of you.

Robin

Stuff your advice, Batman! You and your stone-cold heart! You don't know how I feel. HOW COULD YOU?!? [Batman looks at him, and Robin realizes what he said] Batman, I didn't mean to... I'm sorry. [after he sees the police coming, Robin seemingly readies to throw Zucco off the pier but simply throws him to the ground. The cops arrive and arrest Zucco.] You were right, you know, not bringing me along. You knew I'd take it too personally.

Batman

It wasn't that, Robin. It wasn't that at all. Zucco's taken so much, caused you so much pain. I couldn't stand the thought that he might... take you, too.

Robin

Come on, partner. It's been a long night.

[seeing Batman with a Joker Fish] Dining in tonight, sir?

Batman

[sighs] The dissection tray, please, Alfred...

Any idea what our happy friend is up to now?

Batman

Normal criminals usually have logical motives, but the Joker's insane schemes make sense to him alone.

Err, Batman? Why is this happening to me? I've never done anything to this Joker. I'm just a paper-pusher, I can't change the laws. I'm harmless!

Batman

And in his sick mind, that's the joke, Mr. Francis.

Batman

Feeling all right?

[scratching himself] Oh, sure. It's just that everything's been so crazy today. I haven't even had time to rinse off that gunk the Joker's girl squirted on me.

Batman

[to Gordon] GET THIS MAN TO A HOSPITAL! NOW!

What?

Batman

[corners the Joker on the edge of the roof] There's no place left to go, Joker.

Joker

[blows up a rubber ducky life reserver] See, Batsy? I think of everything!

Harley

[sniffs] Oh, my poor, poor puddin'.

Bullock

Come on, he was a demented, abusive, psychotic maniac.

Harley

Yeah... I'm really gonna miss him.

Do you think he's gone for good?

Batman

Believe me, Jim, I wish it were true. But deep inside, I doubt it.

Batman

His name is Kyodai Ken. He was good.

Robin

Yeah? How good?

Batman

[Quickly] Good.

Robin

I see.

Batman

"Viral Antitoxins". For a plague that doesn't exist, yet, but if the plague is introduced via stray dogs and cats, it will blanket Gotham City within weeks!

Days, actually. You know how many strays there are in Gotham, Batman? Three hundred thousand! Imagine if even a tenth of them carried the virus. Not only will this little bottle make me a hero, it'll make me a fortune as well.

[After learning about the AI project] Sounds as if the human race could become quite expendable, except for butlers, of course.

Batman

Of course.

Riddler

That is grand-scale CHEATING, Batman! You're not allowed to tamper with the Hand of Fate!

Batman

I don't believe in fate.

Riddler

You probably don't believe in Minotaurs either, but you'll still have to answer the Riddle.

I have billions of eyes, yet I live in darkness. I have millions of ears, yet only four lobes. I have no muscles, yet I move two hemispheres. What am I?

Batman

[pauses] That's simple: the human brain. [The Minotaur backs away] It has billions of optic and auditory nerves, four lobes and two hemispheres, and it's the only thing Edward Nygma respects.

Riddler

A lucky guess, that's all! But it won't save you, Batman! [to the Minotaur] DESTROY THEM!

I want to test Tygrus' reflexes and feral strength, and who better to pit him against than you? I'll give you a generous head start before I release Tygrus. If you defeat him, I shall relinquish this, the antigen to reverse Catwoman's mutation.

Batman

How do I know you'll keep your word?

You don't. The clock is ticking, Batman.

Batman

So you can talk.

My father taught me.

Batman

Your father was a test tube.