Gob quotes from Arrested Development

Gob

Well, I will tell you this, Michael: I don’t have a son...

Narrator

He does.

Gob

...But if I ever do, I'm either going to take him to the cabin in the woods, or I'm going to promise to take him and then not take him. But the one thing that I will never do is not tell him that I'm taking him to a cabin in the woods, and then not take him!

Narrator

Gob was growing up.

Gob

There's only one sleeping bag, so we're going to have to double up. Pigs in a blanket!

Michael

Sorry, pal, something came up.

Gob

It is worse to know.

Narrator

Gob was getting life lessons all over the place.

Gob

Steve Holt's not my son.

George Michael

Steve Holt? The moron jock?

Gob

That's my son, you pothead!

Gob

Hey, can you do me a favor? A young neighborhood tough by the name of Steve Holt will be dropping by, and...

Michael

Your son?

Gob

According to him.

Michael

And a DNA test.

Gob

I heard the jury's still out on science.

Gob

Hey, maybe that's it. Maybe we should do to the Japanese what they do in their movies. Build a miniature city, put it outside the window, tell them it's far away. It'll look real if you squint. God knows they're squinters. [looks at Larry the surrogate] What do you think, Dad? A whole, tiny town.

Another brilliant idea, Einstein.

Gob

Really? You'd like to build it with me?

Larry really never knows how to sell the sarcasm. It's a stupid idea.

Gob

They'll call me up on the stand, say something like "who is this little friend?", and he'll say...

My name is Judge.

Gob

Whose name is Judge?

My name is...

Gob

That's a silly name!

Michael

That's enough!

...Judge. My name...

Gob

Yes, I am judging your name. It am silly!

...Is...

Gob

Oh, now you're correcting my grammar?

Michael

Gob, not going to put Franklin on the stand. And your lips are moving just a little bit.

...Judge.

Gob

He's right, his name is Judge now.

Gob

The real problem is that she keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The... something of my ways. Wisdom?

Michael

It's probably wisdom.

Gob

What... what... is it? I... [laughs] You... It's the-the-the-the... the-the questions... you ask so many, of these, of these, of these, these-these questions, that-that-that-that you keep asking f-for me... for-for-for-f-for, sh-should-should-should, should I, should I, should I? Sh-should-should the, should the, should the, should-should the guy, should the guy... [voice breaks] should the guy... Sh-should the guy in the the $32... In the $32, pink-p-p ba-bath-bath-bath... Sh-should-should-should... should the girl in the $6,000 tuxedo, should the guy, should the guy, in the $32... in the $3,400... should the guy, come on! Come on! [sobbing] Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!

Narrator

Gob was uncomfortable with the question.