CCarl
Take your eye lasers, and cut their heads off!
Carl, they have your number. They know where you live, and you still owe them money. Hell, they'll send someone else! That's why it's called a MOB!
CCarl
Oh, yeah. Good point.
S6She Creature
(The Aqua Teens witness Carl explode and release several eggs after the mermaid disappeared into his penis and implanted her eggs in him)
Oh, damn it! I slept with her ass, too. (Frylock explodes the same way)
Oh, Shakey, I told her I was saving myself for marriage and that it would screw up our friendship, but she got me drunk on red wine and... well...
What are you trying to say? (Meatwad explodes as well) AH! Well, just for the record- (Proudly) I did her, TWICE! All over my jock! (Shake awaits to explode, however he shows to have lied and rejected by her as he doesn't explode) I cannot believe I haven't exploded yet.
[Frylock is planting a row of trees to block the view of Carl's pool]
What the hell are you planting?! This a rental! You don't get your money back! Plus, I'm just gonna chop those down! (Pause) I may, if you don't turn your back on me!
S6Chick Magnet
[looking at a large crate] What in the hell is—
[smashes Meatwad] Mine is what it is! You don't touch it or look at it…but if you would be so kind as to plug it in, please?
Okey-dokey, Smoky.
Are you getting smart with me?
No.
You better watch your mouth or that mouth will come off!
Okey-dokey, Smoke- um, artichoke-y.
Now, that's better, 'cause vegetables are the core of the universe.
[in the dance club; "I like your booty, but I'm Not gay" from ATHF the movie is playing; Master Shake enters]
How's it going? Anybody see an outlet?! I know they're getting electricity 'cause, uh, frequently these lights they run on it! [chuckles] Yeah, I'm an engineer. You know I have electricity back at my pad. And! I got the mad cash to PAY for it, too! I'm into sex! [leaves angrily] MY PLACE IS THE SAUSAGE FACTORY!!!
[the fight between Frylock and Master Shake close to the end of the episode]
Well, fuck you too!
No! Fuck you! Bastard!
[Meatwad is seen outside moving the Chick Magnet]
No, 'cause it's 'fuck you' time!
You got a problem with it! You say it TO MY DAMN FACE!
Oh, I said it to your face! A number of times!
Well, my face wasn't looking, and my ears weren't fucking listening!
And your teeth are about to stop chewing, too! [pause]
And what's that mean, Big-Man?!
[punches Master Shake in the face] It was an awkward attempt to tell you, that I'm about to kick the teeth out your head!
Well, I did not… I did not get that initially!
[the fight between Frylock and Master Shake during closing credits]
Oh, no, don't you walk away from me! Where you goin'?!
Well obviously I'm gonna tape up my hands... to not ruin my meal ticket WHEN I'M BEATING YOUR FACE SO HARD!!
I used up the tape. I taped a present for ya. It's a knuckle sandwich!
Well. I'm not hungry!
Well you wrap it up and eat later then!
You wanna step to me?! What are you, a wizard? Let's go!
S6The Creature From Plaque Lagoon
Tooth Fairy. Hand over all that change, bitch! (gets shot with a dart and passes out).
Dumbass, ain't no toothfairy.
MMMysterious man
What do you think you're doing?
Whoa! Well I just-
MMMysterious man
Drop that tooth and back over to the wall!
Okay, okay, just take the TV, take the quarter, take whatever you need.
MMMysterious man
Ha ha ha. Fools! I don't want your money! (takes Meatwad's tooth) I have this tooth; and it's all I need!
S6Time Machine
(to the tune of The Safety Dance)
You can fart if you want to! You can fart out of your behind! (farts) You can fart real cool and make your butts rule with the gas that's inside of you! You can fart (farts), you can fart (farts), everybody look at your butt! Fa-a-art!
It's a safety fart! Well, it's a safety fart!
(Shake kicks Meatwad off screen)
Frylock (sarcastically): That's real mature, Shake.
Thank you very much.
S62-And-a-Half-Star Wars Out Of Five
(Frylock looks out and sees Drew mowing his lawn while listening to very loud Star Wars music.)
Hey! Shut that off! Hey!
DDrew
Hey! How's it going?
Shut that off! Will ya?
DDrew
I said, how's it going?
Hey, shut that fuckin' thing off! (swear censored out by farting sound.)
(Drew shuts the lawnmower off.)
What the hell are you doing?
DDrew
Your lawn. So that means I can crash in your house for an undetermined amount of time hmm?
No!
DDrew
Okay, but I did just mow your lawn.
I didn't ask you to do that.
DDrew
(waving his hand, attempting a Jedi mind trick) You let me stay in your house for as long as I choose. (nothing happens)
Will you stop that? No I won't. What... What are you doing?
DDrew
Nothing look. Do you know anything about wiping the moon from the face of space at all.
Get. The fuck. Off my lawn.
DDrew
So where are you from?
uh uh ain't about where I'M from, it's about where YOU'RE going!
DDrew
Okay, fine. let's do a thousand for the lawn and say five thousand for edging.
How 'bout 3 dollars for everything and I won't call the police?
DDrew
3 sounds good. For now. But tomorrow, I'll be back. To rake the mulch, and maybe I can just stay for the night.
Look man, don't make me get my gun okay.
DDrew
(attempting another Jedi mind trick.) You will not go get your gun.
(Gun raised toward his head)
DDrew
(walking away) I'll just be over there. In the rain. If it rains. No pressure.
(Drew now mowing Carl's lawn, but getting hit by batteries)
DDrew
Hey! It's raining batteries!
CCarl
Yeah! (throwing batteries) An alkaline front is pushing through. (continues to throw batteries) We're expecting a couple of inches of concussions on your head! Running out of batteries here. What are you doing?!
DDrew
Your lawn. But I am out of gas so it's a little difficult. So where are you from?
CCarl
Oh, we're not having a conversation.
DDrew
Well I'm from Mos Eisley. Just like in the movie.
CCarl
Yeah knock knock, who cares? I don't.
DDrew
Hey, quick question: Can you help me blow up the moon?
CCarl
No, no, I can't. I'm more of an expert at, uh- EXPOSING the moon. (Chuckles, turns around and moons Drew, unaware that he is transforming into a werewolf) Get out your telescope! See if you'll find, uh, the one crater! (Continues chuckling, but stops and finally notices Drew's transformation) Wait a minute- No, no, no! It's cool! It's all cool here! NO! NO! (Drew leaps into Carl's window; blood is shown gushing out)
You guys see what I saw? Well, I did. Carl showed that tall pink man his heinie, and he grew fangs and fur and claws, and they went inside and had a heated discussion.
Yeah, we're not gonna get involved with that.
He is a werewolf, Fryman. He saw Carl's full moon and it changed him.
Shake, they are no such things as werewolves.
I think I know someone who would beg to differ. And I think we both know who I'm talking about.
Don't you say, Kate Beckinsale!
But she was in that movie!
Fake! Fake! Fake!
You gonna sit here and tell me that the Lyken have not been waging war against the vampires for centuries?
Hollywood, Shake!
You do know I own the cardboard cut-out?
Yes.
That means I like this movie.
I know!
Good. We've established that. Meeting adjourned.
So what we do now?
We wait till you lost interest and forget about it.
Alrighty, then.
(24 hours pass. Frylock is asleep with Meatwad on top of him.)
I ain't lost interest.
You haven't slept either, Meatwad.
Well, neither has Shake.
(Shake on the phone)
Are you or are you not Kate Beckinsale?! (voice-over phone talks) Well, describe your body. In leather. Well, I heard you had a winner hoe here!
Ask her if she has a port in her chest to drink fluids.
Do you have a port in your chest to drink fluids?
Like plasmas and such.
Yeah, like plasmas and such. (Hangs up.) Uh hello? Kate? I lost her. She must have gone through a tunnel. You know, cell reception is not good... in the underworld.
S6Fry Legs
(Meatwad is being questioned by the police about where "his friend" is)
What friend? I ain't got no friends!
(One of the cops holds a sketch of Frylock up for Meatwad) Oh Frylock. Yeah, he's my friend.
(Meatwad points to mace on the officer's belt)
Wait, is that deodorant?
Yes, it's deodorant. They get hot and sweaty chasin' robbers.
OOfficer
Yeah! Yeah, it's deodorant. Try some! (Maces Master Shake and Meatwad)
(He and Meatwad have red eyes) Ahh! That is not deodorant! Oh God!
Needs a little more pepper.
S6Der Inflatable Fuhrer
HHitler
(Pulls up with a mask in a balloon car) Ah, what a wonderful day for a balloon. here, let me place my suitcase full of money next to you and purchase one.
They're free of charge sir.
HHitler
These are not happy and floaty like we discussed.
There exactly what you asked for, now if you will excuse us. (Shake and Frylock try to leave).
HHitler
No, I think the product needs to be tested. On your kosher friend! (Pulls out Meatwad with who is dressed like a rabi and is holding a menorah and a box of matzoh).
Meatwad!
They took all my pork and they de-circumcised me and they gave me the cowboy hat! Mazeltoff, I'm dang jewish now.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.