Frylock quotes from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

[to a convalescent Shake] Whoa little piggy! Have some self control. You know nothin' grosses me out more than fat people... like you.

Master Shake

I'm fat?

As hell! Have you seen yourself? I would not eat any more... 'less you gonna get rid of it, you know what I mean?

Master Shake

What do you mean?

I'm not talkin' 'bout digestion. I'm talkin' 'bout this [mimes sticking his finger down his throat]

Frylock

Meatwad, no!

You got an assface boy! Am I right?

Frylock

Well I guess you are right.

I ain't talkin to you. I'm talkin to assface over here. What do ya think, assface?

Master Shake

How am I gonna fill the jeans if I don't have an ass?

You ain't. You need to get a job makin horror movies. Return of the Deadly Assface

Master Shake

Well fine..

Never Go Back to Assface Lake

Master Shake

Well fine, I won't do jean ads, that's simple.

Deadly Assface Lake Camp...Need to work on that one...

Master Shake

But I can do underwear right? RIGHT?!

Flip over shovel ass. You can do a hospital ad. They won't have to use make-up.

Master Shake

NO! This isn't happening!

You a sucka!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey y'all know what would be fun? If I get in that pool.

Frylock

And how long has it been since lunch?

Well... (Meatwad ponders) Six seconds.

Frylock

And I just saw you eat 40 hot dogs, didn't I?

40? No, 48.

Frylock

You have to wait twenty minutes, Meatwad.

Master Shake

Why don't we let him in now and we'll watch him cramp up and get sucked into the filter and jam it all up!

Frylock

Huh... so he's using Shake as his vessel to communicate with us.

Well, I figured that out. He done got 90 eyes and no mouth. Where else he gonna talk? Through his butt?

Frylock

Meatwad, he won't have a butt. I mean most aliens recycle their waste for fuel. [Travis starts leaking waste out of his body] Obviously, this one doesn't.

Frylock

Shut up, Shake, he's trying to say something!

Master Shake

I'll tell you what he's trying to say: "I need somebody to kick me in the ass so I can get the hell off your land!" That's what you're trying to say, right?

Master Shake

Hey, how ya doing? I think I need to go to the doctor. Cause I've been losing long, long tracks of time now, and...and I'm starting to get just a little freaked out about the fact that my hand is missing. I can't find it.

Frylock

Shake you'll be fine. That hole in your head will heal up in no time.

Master Shake

Hole? Oh thats great. I'm sure it was drilled on one of those days I can't remember.

Frylock

Here's five dollars, go see a movie.

Shake

Motion pictures are ten dollars.

Frylock

Fine. Here's ten.

Shake

But what about popped corn?

Frylock

Whatever, damn. Just go!

Shake

(Mumbles) I wonder what's playing-

Frylock

(Getting frustrated) Go....

Shake

Fine. I know when to go. (pause) Do You know what-

Frylock

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo! Is you the little joker that's been bringin' me sand?

Yes.

Man, what you thinkin'? Look here man, what're you, the Sandman or somethin'? C'mon, get it together boy!

But it's...for the Shorteez, ya know.

Frylock

It's for the EPA is who it's for.

What? Who said that? Man, you bring people over here. You ain't supposed to bring people over here unless they dead. Is he dead? I don't think so.

If the Shorteez can't have food, then I ain't gonna have food. You know what I'm sayin'? (he throws the sandcakes in the garbage can) I do this for the Shorteez, ya'll.

Shake

Yeah, take it to church, dump it in the collection plate. You know, you're the rudest person I know, and that's why you don't live here anymore. I--

Shake

Hey! My steak and eggs!

Frylock

Steak and eggs?!

This is for the Shorteez.

Frylock

All I got is a mug of oatmeal!

Shake

Listen, we're on a budget. What do you want me to do?

(taking Frylock's mug) Thank you very much.

Frylock

Hey, damn it! I was going to eat that.

Oh, gee whiz, I'm so sorry to inconvenience you while other people in the world don't got nothin' to eat.

Shake

Thanks for sandin' up my eggs. You know what, just take 'em...when you leave the country. I banish you forevermore!

Shake

Can someone please explain to me what happened to my duckling a l'orange?!

Frylock

We had duckling a l'orange?

Shake

You don't even know how to say it, so stop...try it once. No, forget it. You know what? You're gonna try it and then you're gonna screw the name up, and then it's gonna sound disgusting. I won't even want to eat it anymore. Thanks. Thanks for ruining my lunch, which is gone, by the way.

Frylock

Have you looked in the fridge?

Shake

[sarcastically] Oh, brainstorm! Alert the Internet, I got a genius on my hand... oh, wait a minute. It's already open, 'cause that's where I put it when it was shipped in from Alsace!

Try looking deep within your heart and ask it where it wanted that duck to go.

Shake

Down your throat, you bug-eyed freak! You know how much that duck cost?! Higher than you can count!

Frylock

I'm sorry to say this, but Shake's right Meatwad. Charity is one thing, but this is getting way out of hand! I mean, we don't have anything to eat now!

Well, I don't know about that and I...

Frylock

Don't. Say. Sand.

Frylock

What the hell happened to you??

YOU tell me! One minute, I'm going in for a job interview and the next, BOOM, I'm in Hell!

Shake

All right, truth time. Tomorrow morning, you and me, we get those bills paid together.

Frylock

Shake, tomorrow is Sunday!

Shake

You're right, church!

Frylock

There goes the cable.

Shake

Terrorists!

Has he learned his lesson yet? Please tell me he has, cause this is getting old over here. BLEND!

Frylock

Look, I'm sure he'll come around and...maybe even learn something. Just give it a few more hours, okay?

A few hou-?! Look here! I'm getting hungry and thirsty; usually by now, I'd be on my fifth weenie smoothie, and guess how many I've had? Zero.

Frylock

(smelling the weenies) Phew! Well, those weenies are spoiled by now, Meatwad. I mean, the fridge hasn't worked for a whole day.

Pssh, I don't keep 'em there. I age them on the windowsill, so that when they get all sticky and slimy and smelling bad, like they's rotting?

Frylock

Ugh...

...that's when they's getting good.

Frylock

Really.

Let me go off-topic here for a bit: you know how much protein's in a weenie smoothie?

Frylock

Um, no.

Zero. BLEND!

Frylock

Meatwad, no!

Shake

Meatwad, YES!