Frylock quotes from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

(angrily enters the house) Where's Meatwad?!

Frylock

What're you doing with that gutter?

What're you doin' with that beard, huh? Answer that, scientist!

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Did you see a woman in a bikini with a six-pack of beer and a surfboard come in here?

Frylock

Was it made of cardboard, used to be up at the liquor store?

Uhh...no.

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Frylock

Shake, what is wrong with you?

What's wrong with you? Hey, why don't you go kiss your new best friend, you love him so damn much! I'm the one who cleaned the kitchen. I'm the authority!

[at the door] Someone wanna tell me why my pool is full of hotdog chunks and dirty dishes?

Oh Carl, you didn't mess with it did ya? Cause it's gotta set up for a couple days with the battery.

The battery?

Yeah, you know, the one from your car. I dumped some shampoo in there too, but it's dog shampoo so I dunno if it's gonna work, but were prayin' like hell that it does.

No, no, no, I understand, I understand. I'm just gonna go, I'll be back in a few. You uh, you think that the gun store is still open?

ODOl' Drippy

Carl, please, I'll take care of the mess. He means well, he's just a little... well, I'd better not say.

What? I'm a little what?

Thank you, Drippy. You are very well-mannered and very nice. [To Master Shake] And you oughta take lessons from him!

Frylock

[agreeing with Carl] That's right!

[agreeing with both Frylock and Carl] Yeah, Shake. That's right!

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Well, get out of here! What are you waiting on? I’m gonna chase you outta here!

[Making a post-and-lintel structure out of sofa cushions] That’s good. Okay, that’s all right. That looks good. Hey, who says I couldn’t do this, huh?[Lightning strikes the sofa cushions apart] AAAAHHH! Let me in! Will you let me in, dammit! I mean, guys! Hey-hey! Somebody wanna let me in, please?[Frylock goes to open the door for Shake]

Frylock

Well, Shake! I thought you moved.

What?! I never said that! Who said that!?(He starts coughing)

ODOl Drippy

Oh my. You’re burning up.

Yes, I’m very... sick.(He coughs some more)

ODOl Drippy

Frylock, he needs medical help.

Frylock

He needs an ass-whooping is what he needs.

ODOl Drippy

There’s no time! Here Shake, eat my head!

Here! Kiss my ass! Forget about it!!

ODOl Drippy

I’m serious. Coat me with ranch. Chase me with cheese if you must, I don’t care. It’s the only way.

Frylock

Drippy, don’t! What are you doing?

Don’t do that, that’s going to hurt you!

ODOl Drippy

I’m saving his life! I’m half penicillin!

Frylock

Well, I have some penicillin in my lab if that’s what this is all about.

ODOl Drippy

Oh, really? Well then, just give him some of that man, I mean-

No, wait. Now, hold on a minute, I- I kind of like the taste of your head. I mean, you said it was the only way, right?(coughs again)

Where are you going, Drippy? I- I love you!

ODOl Drippy

I'm going away for a while, Meatwad. And I may never come back. But I'll always be here, inside.

Yeah, in my stomach, baby.

ODOl' Drippy

Close your eyes, Meatwad. [Shake takes a big bite out of Ol' Drippy] AAH!

Leave your eyes open, Meatwad. I wanna horrify you into a coma.

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[Shake is eating fried chicken in the pool after Drippy got hit by a truck while saving his life]

Look...he pushed me.

FFryock

He pushed you out of the way of that truck.

Listen...he's in a better place.

Frylock

He's in the grill of the truck!

He was my best friend.

Ah, well then you should know something. When he was pushing me...he mentioned something about not liking you.

Frylock

Ah, man.

I clearly heard it.

Did he really?

That stuck out.

Well...I guess I'll have one of those wings then. Gimme one.

[Throws a wing towards Meatwad] Here, fetch.

Where's the meat?! This is a bone!

Go make a doll out of that!

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Hey, which one of you guys has been playin' "I Like Candy", for a frickin' week?!?!

Frylock

It was your other neighbor.

Meatwad.

You know what? At this point, it doesn't matter, 'cause it keeps runnin' inside my head and it won't leave unless I blow it out, with a bullet!

[notices Carl's mouth is full] What you eating there, Carl? (walks over to him) You gonna show me some love?

Jawbreakers. For some reason, I can't get enough of 'em.

Is that why your teeth are blue?

Uh... no.

Oh. Uh... So, why are you...

Shut up. [brief silence, then begins singing] I like candy, bubblegum and ta--DAMN IT!!

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Frylock

You know Meatwad and Carl have been hanging out quite a bit lately.

What, you want 'em to stop? (yelling out the front door) Rape, rape, oh rape!

Frylock

No, no, no, it's fine, it's fine, but don't think it's a little bit weird that they started washing the car at midnight...and they're still doing it?

Look, people do things, it's a fact.

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Frylock

Shake, did you hear this lyric? About drilling a hole straight to hell, and releasing demons to create a global diet pill pyramid scheme?!

Eh, I don't know. All that rap is is clicks and whistles.

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I should not walk so a child may live. [pause] That's what it does.

Frylock

Get up!

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Frylock

You're all the things that are in this ad: you're energetic, hard-working, you like people—

MPMC Pee Pants

No, I love the liquid inside people. How many times I gotta tell you this, man? I'm insane! I eat people-juice. No one's gonna hire a people-juice eater!

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Frylock, where are the pills?

Frylock

Pills? What do you need pills for?

Well, Happy-Time Harry needs 'em. He says that the pills make the phone calls go away.

Frylock

[Writes on a post-it note] Alright Meatwad, this is a prescription from Dr. Frylock for Jolly Sunshine Happiness!

Oh, you think this is a game?! They're gonna garnish his wages and how's he gonna pay child support then, huh? I'll tell ya, he ain't!

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Look man, all you had was root beer and triple sec.

Frylock

I was gonna make margaritas with that!

Ah man, you had tequila the whole time?! Well, where the...where is it?

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Frylock

[To Meatwad] Tomorrow I'm getting you a new doll with a sunnier attitude!

Hey man, while you're there, you get me that Happy-Time Dialysis Machine.

Frylock

Dialysis?

Yeah. I had half my liver removed and I'm not supposed to drink, but...I do.

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Frylock

You’re gonna chuck him off a cliff? Shake, we could have chucked him off the roof and stayed at home.

No, This is a magic cliff here, like in The Highlander. So, you will become The Highlander, and you’ll roam the earth forever, trying to kill yourself, but you wouldn’t be able to, because you’ll be…immortal. Won’t that suck, little man? [laughs]

Well actually, That sounds kinda cool.

Yeah, it does.

Then I’m gonna do it.

NO, YOU’RE NOT! I’m doing it!

Frylock

Shake, Wait! The Highlander was just a movie. I mean-

Oh Frylock, The Highlander was a documentary, and the events happen in real time.

So, this cliff is magic?

Oh yeah, Big time.

I’m doing it now.

No man, Look you gotta be born a Highlander, You can’t just…become one.

Frylock

See, he saw the movie too.

You know, that’s right.

I know, I saw cliffs, Okay. And there’s lots of magic everywhere…And Mel Gibson.

Uhh, Braveheart? Hello?

Oh, You think you’re the expert? Let's see how much your ass know about FLYING! [throws Happy-Time off a cliff.] Yeah! that’s what I’m talking about.

Frylock

You done? Because that took forever...

I am-Well I am foreverrr.....I AM IMMORTAL!!!

Frylock

Shake, No! [Master Shake jumps off the cliff, his straw clinging to a branch]

Damn branch…Wait! I'm not immortal here, Okay?

Frylock

Hang on Shake, we'll call for help!

No, tell him to let go.

Yeah, Hurry! I think that the branch will hold for... [branch breaks] IT'S NOT HOLDING!!

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Frylock

(Floating in the pool with Meatwad) So, I guess the Highlander comes out of traction today.

Well, I hoped they fixed his eyes. They got messed up pretty bad in that fall.

Frylock

Well, the doctors gave him some hard plastic replacements, So don't stare at them, Okay? He’s real self conscious about it.

Okay.

(comes in on wheelchair with large eyes) Alas, I return.

Frylock

Oh! There you are!

Where are you?

Dang! What happened to your eyes?! They look weird.

Frylock

Shhh!

Oh, shut up! “There can be, only one!” (Lifts up a sword and lightning strikes it, and then he drops it and falls out of the chair and is set on fire).

We grillin' tonight.