A character in Aqua Teen Hunger Force
2nd most-quoted character in Aqua Teen Hunger Force: in 334 of its 785 quotes
Most scenes with: Master Shake (201), Frylock (169), Carl (62)
Is that a taco pie?
Mm-hmm.
Taco pie!?
I added food coloring 'cause it's a holiday, but it turned black 'cause I added all the food coloring I had. And I ate this butter straight out of the tub, 'cause it tastes good. There's a reason behind everything.
Enjoy those tacos now, for in a thousand years they will be illegal! Ha ha ha ha! I think we all know why.
We know why.
Anti-taco legislation! Disestablishmentarianism!
Is that the same guy?
Yeah, I think so. He's crazy.
I think he's really from the year 9595.
I think so too!
Did you hear his story?
I heard it, and it checks out.
It is solid.
Yeah, Shake, in the future they all carry their belongings in a plastic bag.
That is a future bag. I say that with all confidence.
Now where was I? Oh, yes, it was 1000 years after the tacos were assassinated—
I thought you said they was illegal. Was they dead or illegal?
Oh, is this your story now? Did this happen to you and not to me?! Well, listen up everybody, he's about to tell us all his amazing story! The one that happened to me and not him.
...I-I'm sorry, you—you've got it—
Are you sure I have it? Are you sure, since it happened to me, that I should be the one to tell it? Well, then, yes, thank you, I thought I did!
The house smells awful.
Well, why? Why does it smell that way?!
(hurt) Did we have to go to that tone...already? You start off so nice.
Look, alright? I'm sorry, okay, just explain. Please. Why?
Well, this is what I did, see: you know how the flies have been a problem?
...no, I don't.
And remember when I left all the meat out because I saw Mr. David Lynch I'm-On-TV do it and he got on TV from doing it and I did it and I didn't get on TV from doing it?
No, I don't remember that.
Well, I did, and because of this, of course, you get rats.
Ughhh. So why does the house smell?
I'm not doooone! Look, when we go in there...you need to watch where you step.
And why is that?!
[part of the house explodes]
DAMN!
...that is part of the reason. Now let's go in and remember what I said.
[Shake and Meatwad play chickenball as Meatwad's eyes are infected]
All right, now throw that chicken right down the middle. Okay, it's gonna go right outta the park, baby!
Where are you? Where's the strike zone?
Over here, follow my voice!
I can't see! I got some sort of chicken infection in my eye.
All right, fine. Go down the hallway and wash it out.
No, sir. I ain't never goin' down that hallway never again.
Then you pitch that chicken!
Meatwad, it's for you. Someone who thinks he's your friend.
(with severely swollen eyes) Bring him over to the light.
Ooh, Meatwad. How are you doing?
Oh, Frylock! Hey! I'm very...can I tell you the truth?
Meatwad!
I'm very good!
If you're that good, then maybe you should be putting some more foam on our fire. I'm not an Eskimo over here, y'know.
Well, your face looks all...puffy.
No, no, I'm just tired! I-I fell down some stairs.
We don't have any stairs, Meatwad.
If he said he fell down some stairs, he fell down some stairs! People get clumsy sometimes! Is there a problem here?!
He's sick, Shake, and so are you.
Well, he's supposed to be next door, harvesting the crops, picking our dinner. See, we're farming now, we're farmers! It's an honest life.
We ain't got no more hollow leaves over there, we ate that whole bush yesterday! That's why the bathroom hurts so bad!
Well, what else did you plant over there?!
I ain't planted nothin'.
That's why you fall down the stairs all the time.
(eating spring rolls) This has gone well. Tell you what- mmm, hold on- I will allow visitation hours, for you and us, provided- mmm- you bring lots of these little fried burritos.
Well...no. I'll see y'all later.
Wait, wait, wait, h-hang on: anddddd you pay us a stipend.
Fuck you, Shake. See ya.
Nononono, wait, wait, wait, hang on, hang on now. Come on, I'm-I'm being serious now. Seriously: a memorial plaque will be carved and bejeweled in my honor.
He left. Again.
(defensively) Those are the terms!
[The house is on fire. Shortly after, the phone rings at Frylock's apartment]
Hello?
(eyes severely swollen) Aren't you coming back?
[Angry] Hell no! (hangs up)
Man. This is some good TV right here. [wakes up Shake who is sleeping on the chair] Hey hey hey.
[yawning] What?
You missin' some good TV.
Change it.
I ain't changin this. This is the best.
[pulls out a flaming arrow] Change it.
To what? Come on, this is good.
Why don't we let the arrow decide.
Aw don't do that- [Shake fires the flaming arrow at the TV] AW COME ON!
[TV explodes]
And now it's changed. The changeling.
[from bedroom] What was that?! What's going on?
What do you think it was?!
It was you boy.
[goes to an empty closet] What the- Hey! This closet was full of TVs last time I checked and now there's none.
'Cause you keep breakin' 'em.
'Cause you keep pissing me off so bad! You should be lucky I direct my anger at the media, and not your buttocks!
Yeah, Frylock, please. Make us a TV. I mean look at me. How else am I gonna face the day? I ain't got no job, my wife left me, bills pilin' up, I got child support payments, and I have no idea if what I said's true. But I believe it.
He is right.
We needs to dull our senses.
[Shake shoves the TV off the stand and it jumps up]
Whoa damn. Did you just see that?!
No, we didn't see it. Everything's fine. Now just SHUT UP and go control it.
[Shake attempts to hit the TV with a bat and it jumps again]
Damn! Did you just see that?!
I'm not in the business of seeing whatever pleases you. [chases after TV] Get back here you son of a...
Well I'm in business. [to himself] The business of kicking your ass. And let me tell you, business is booming. I'm open for business. Business of giving you the business...up your butt... [looks up and sees Shake looking at him] Did you hear me say that?
You looking to expand your business?
[starts running] Business is closed! Business is closed!
[The TV is chained to the stand]
Alright! 's what's called taking command of the situation! Meatwad... you turn it on.
I ain't going near that TV, boy! I think that thing's alive!
[sternly] Go over there, get close to it, and touch it to turn it on.
What'll you give me?
Six months to a year. And brother, you are dead!
[A show with Shake on it is playing on the TV]
Look at that thing! You on the TV.
Well, uh... you know, I've been on TV a lot. See, this... oh, yeah, sure, this is my sitcom with a-
I'm in your house.
...with a science-fiction horror twist. It's called...uh...
What's it called?
I don't know, shut up. I'm-I'm trying to hear my lines.
[Evil TV Shake stares at the camera]
...the hell is this?
Well, you said this is your sitcom? With the sci-fi horror twist? That's never been done before.
Yeah, I know, I just don't remember filming this episode. I can tell my instincts are strong in this scene though, and I got a lot of motivation.
[during Shake's sitcom] I'm the one who's sorry, OK? I'm sorry I made the cheerleading squad and you didn't.
[Audience members say "awwwwwwwwwwww!"]
It's OK. You were the better cheerleader.
Well, I wasn't no slouch. Did you see me do those cartwheels?
[canned laughter]
[laughs] I identify with that.
OK, OK, don't rub it in...
[canned laughter]
[laughs] And there's the zinger...
OK, then how about I blow it in?
[shoots him]
Wha -
Shake! Damn!
WHAT DO YOU WANT!?!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!?!?
Something's wrong with that TV!
There's nothing wrong with that TV.
[The TV, chained to the stand, begins spraying blood]
Okay, something's wrong with the TV.
Frylock, get away from the money. The genetic structure is breaking down. It needs to be analyzed...at the Camaro dealership.
Hey, I want some of that! I provided the seed money.
[drops three dollars in front of Meatwad] Here. You tripled your investment. Now take a dirt nap.
Master ShakeDana Snyder · 394 quotes
FrylockCarey Means · 329 quotes
CCarl195 quotes
IIgnignokt30 quotes
ErrMatt Maiellaro · 27 quotes
OglethorpeAndy Merrill · 26 quotes
EEmoryMike Schatz · 20 quotes
Cybernetic GhostMatt Maiellaro · 12 quotes
TurkatronMatt Maiellaro · 12 quotes
WDr. Weird11 quotes
SSteve11 quotes
Happy-Time HarryDavid Cross · 10 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force · 785 quotes