[to his skeleton valet] Don't wait for me. [walks with cloak wrapped around] Aah. Ignorant little travelers. It's been many years since any have come willingly to me. Who are you?
YWYakko and Wakko
We're the Warner Brothers.
[to Count Dracula, as Wakko takes a pocket watch out of Count Dracula's pocket] Does Batman know you're wearing his cape, so badly?
I'm Wakko. [kisses Dracula] Did you miss me, huh?
Please. You're washing off my Old spice.
I'm Dot, but you may call me princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca, the third. Tee hee. [Count Dracula sees the blood vessels in her neck. Says Type O, unleaded 87 octane with marks. Dracula looks close, each of his hands connected] I get this from guys all the time. [Count Dracula looks closer at her neck, making it stretch] SNAP OUT OF IT!!!
Ahem. I am Count Dracula.
Didn't you used to teach math on Sesame Street?
Stop your silly chatter and enter! The night is long and I hunger for company. [the Warner Siblings dash off, leaving him on the floor. He growls, and the door slams in his face. Inside the castle, it was creepy; repeatedly bangs on the door outside and offscreen] Let me in, you little weasels!
[talking about Dracula] That guy sure dresses funny.
This is Pennsylvania, Wakko. He's probably Amish.
I'll handle him. I saw Witness twice. [He opens the door for Count Dracula. He clears his throat] Greetings, good Amish farmer. How's it going with thee? Is there a place hither where we may sleep yon?
Impudent child! You can't make a fool out of me!
[dresses up Count Dracula in a fool outfit] Well, you can't blame a guy for trying.
[takes off the fool outfit] Puny mortals! Now witness the power of the undead! [turns into a big bat as "Night on Bald Mountain" by Modest Mussorgsky plays in the background]
[flying like a bat] Hey, look at me! I'm a bat too!
Oh, you're right. But this is! [whacks Count Dracula with a baseball bat with a face and wings on it, sending him falling to the floor in a Batman logo-shaped hole. Count Dracula climbs up out of the Batman logo-shaped hole, seeing bats]
Oh, I'm not well. [falls down from the high ceiling to the floor, creating the Batman logo-shaped hole. Climbs out of the hold in the human form while seeing bats in his dazed head]
Good farmer, mayest we see-eth our rooms now?
[in a dazed voice] Why, certainly. Walketh this way. [walks clumsily. The Warner Siblings imitate him]
You boys will be sleeping in the, uh, Mary Poppins suite. It's very cozy.
[A monster growls inside]
Sounds like Howard Stern.
[patting Yakko's head] Uh, yes, the plumbing is old. Now, nighty-night. [opens the door and forces Yakko and Wakko in. He comes out, locking the door] Whew. [turns to reveal Yakko and Wakko on velcro on his back]
[Count Dracula is about to bite Dot's neck]
Hey, whatcha doing, mister? You gonna suck her blood? Empty her tank? Turn her into one of your legion of zombie vampires who only live to do your evil bidding? Or are you gonna make out and play kissy face and hope your dad doesn't butt in and ground you? Huh? How about it, mister? [speeds off]
[Count Dracula tries again, but Dot wakes up and punches him in the jaw, then brushes his teeth. Count Dracula tries again, but Wakko, dressed as a doctor, takes his teeth out]
[wearing Count Dracula's teeth] Yoo-hoo! What do you think? Do they make me look like Sheena Easton?
[puts teeth back on] Foolish little whelp!!! NOW YOU WILL LEARN THE MEANING OF ETERNAL SLUMBER!!!
Slumber?! As in slumber party?! Let's! [the Warner Siblings dress Count Dracula up into pink clothing. He gasps] Know any dreamy guys?
[Wakko dusts Count Dracula's face, Yakko puts on eyelid coloring and eyebrows,and Dot puts on makeup, and a bowtie. Wakko shows Count Dracula a mirror]
[screams like Homer Simpson] Get away from me, you little monsters!
Wait! We were just about to order pizza and tell ghost stories!
[opening his coffin] Peace, at last. [screams]
[coughing] Hast thou any coffin drops? [Count Dracula groans, grunts, throws The Warner Siblings away, then goes into his coffin. Yakko tries opening the lid] Hey, he's locked in.
[Inside his coffin, Count Dracula sighs, until Wakko gets a chainsaw and cuts the coffin in half]
Hangeth on, kind farmer! We shall saveth thee!
[opens the halves to reveal Count Dracula cut in half] Oops. [giggles, then puts the two halves together again]
[roars, growling, cornering the Warner Siblings] Your lives here have ended!
True, mister Amish man, for we must check out. 'Tis morning! [opens the window to reveal a bright sunshine]
[whimpers] And me without my sun block! [trips back into his coffin]
[Yakko plays "Reveille" on a trumpet]
Wakey wakey! Rise and shine! [puts an alarm clock in Count Dracula's head] We'd like waffles and a big cheese wheel for breakfast.
[Wakko crows like a rooster. Count Dracula roars and debris flies. The Warner Siblings flee as the mansion collapses]
Boy. Who knew the Amish could have such explosive tempers?
[finally notices the Transylvania sign] You know, Yakko, maybe this isn't Pencil-vania after all.
[Wakko eats a rock]
You're right, Dot. We never should have taken that left turn at Kennebunkport. Come on!
[The Warner Siblings tunnel underground]]
[Last lines; he Warner Siblings tunnel underground. They pop up in Tasmania ]
Uhh. Pencil-vania, at last. Homeland of our ancestors.
[doing his trademark tornado entrance, jabbering, then blows raspberry. He screams, then tornadoes away as the "Taz-mania theme" plays in the background]
This is Tasmania, not Pennsylvania!
[Wakko eats the map]
Let's face it. We need a new map.
[sees what's happening] What a surprise. Runt in trouble. [popping out of a sheet near Runt] Having fun?
Oh, hi, Rita! I've been having a nap with a sheet and everything!
[sarcastically] For fifty dollars and a chance for the Festiva, how many brain cells does a dog have?
Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh. boy. Oh boy. Nine. Definitely nine.
S1 E31O Silly Mio/Puttin' on the Blitz/The Great Wakkorotti: The Summer Concert
[about Katrina] Poor kid's living in a dream world.
Yeah, dream world. So sad.
She really believes her dad's waiting.
S1 E32Chairman of the Bored/Planets Song/Astro-Buttons
[after Pip suddenly leaves] It's too quiet!
Pip! Wait! [chasing after him] Pip! Come back! Tell us another story!
Please, tell us more about bologna!
Did you ever meet Don Knotts?!
It's time to tour the planets that make up our solar system. C'mon! [singing]
The closest to the sun is the planet Mercury,
Next the shrouded planet Venus Is as cloudy as can be.
The Earth is next; we call it home let's hope it stays that way,
And then there's Mars; it's really red What more can I say?
The gassy planet Jupiter's as big as planets come,
Then there's Saturn with its mighty rings made up of tiny crumbs.
We travel on to Neptune, that's a gassy, freezing ball,
And cold and tiny Pluto is the furthest one of all.
[spoken] Well, there you go. That's our solar system.
[appears] You forgot Uranus.
S1 E33Cartoons in Wakko's Body/Noah's Lark/The Big Kiss/Hiccup
NNoah
[checking animals on the ark] Bunnies...where are the bunnies?
BBBuster Bunny and Babs Bunny
Buster and Babs Bunny. No relation.
NNoah
I should hope not, this is a children's show. Bunnies: check. Wolverines. [the wolverines attacked him] For heaven's sakes, let's not forget the always cheerful wolverines the Lon Chaney juniors of the animal kingdom. Check. Lab mice.
[Pinky and the Brain appear]
These pantyhose are killing me, Brain. I think I prefer knee-highs. [Brain whacks him]
S1 E34Clown and Out/Bubba Bo Bob Brain
A clown vill not bite me und throw me in the basement.
A clown will not bite me and throw me in the basement.
A clown is not a big shpider.
A clown is not a big spider.
I have calculated every ingredient necessary to become a country music megastar. Read me the list, Pinky.
Nice, Brain! Working class values.
I enjoy beef jerky and the comedy stylings of Gallagher. Check.
A name consisting of not less than three words.
From now on, I shall be Bubba Bo Bob Brain. Check.
And a height of at least six feet.
A...Drat. There must be some way to increase my height.
Hmm. Let me think. [hits his own head]
Don't hurt yourself, Pinky.
YWYakko and Wakko
Hi. We're the Warner Brothers.
And we'd like to invite you and all the members of your household-
to gather around the TV set and join us now-
for a very special episode of Animaniacs.
And what's so special about it?
I'm not wearing any pants! [covers his other parts of the body with his sweater]
[Outside the Warner Bros. studio, the camera closes in on a building labeled "ANIMANIACS TEST KITCHEN" Explosion goes off inside. We look inside the building and we see the Warner siblings in the kitchen]
Welcome to the Animaniacs Test Kitchen. We're cooking up something really different for today's show. All we need are our ingredients. [singing]
A dash of Pinky and the Brain,
A cup of Slappy Squirrel,
A tablespoon of Goodfeathers,
Add Rita, Runt, then swirl.
We add a pinch of Hippoes,
Buttons and Mindy too.
Now top it off with Skippy Squirrel,
What's that make?
[spoken] What did we come up with?
[The camera zooms into the pot]
What do you want to do tonight, Rita?
I don't know. Eat you for supper? [eats Pinky] So far this is my favorite episode.
[in Rita's tummy] Narf! Oh, roomy accommodations, Rita.
