Scenes with Yakko 142
YYakko
U.N. me, we had a bag of fun down by the East Riverside!
That United Nations there drives away a fella's care.
183 countries meet down by the East Riverside,
New York, off 42nd Street.
See foreign states with a grudge down by the East Riverside.
United Nations tries to fix wars, famine, and oil slicks.
Boutros Boutros Ghali-gee down by the East Riverside,
Leads the General Assembly.
The gift shop will take traveler's checks down by the East Riverside.
German tourists were not rare buying T-shirts and flatware.
Ate pastry from Liberia down by the East Riverside,
At the U.N. cafeteria.
Took a tour with some Dutch down by the East Riverside
We had a guide from Japan who had a decent pension plan.
Saw costly artwork from Brazil down by the East Riverside,
On which my soda I did spill.
U.N. me, we had a bag of fun down by the East Riverside.
Saw flags on shiny poles from lands with lofty goals.
We'll beat our swords into liverwurst down by the East Riverside,
But no one wants to be the first.
But then I guess it could be worse.
We could still sing one more verse.
AAnnouncer
And now, Yakko Warner sings all of the words in the English language!
YYakko
Aardvark, abating, abet, abdicating. Abandon, abase and abreast. Ablaze and ablution, abhor and abusion. Abbreviate, abbey, abscessed. Abduct and ablation, abridge and abrasion. Abash and abrupt and abride. Abscond and absentia, absent, abstentia. Abdomen, ably, abide. Abominable, abrogate, absolute, absent. Absorbent, abstention, abstraction. Absurd and abundant, abusive, abutment. Acacia, academy, action. Accede and accost and accept and across. And accompany, acre, accord. Accomplish, account and accrue and amount. Acrimonious, active, adored. Adrenaline, adulate, adder and advocate. Advertise, adverse, abrade. Advice, adversarial, advent and aerial. Affluent, after, afraid.
YYakko
[slightly slower] Level and levity, lewd and longevity. Libel, libation, Lanai. Lithium, litigate, legal, legitimate. Liberty, levy and lie.
Welcome back. Yakko's now at the L's as he tries to sing all the words in the English language. A slight mistake at the F's—here's what it looked like:
[Shows a previous clip]
YYakko
Facial and faction and fractal and fraction. And fraudulent, fragrant, frappé Frankincense, frankinship...frankinsish...shoot!...Yada yada flambé!
Now, that mistake could have proved costly for Yakko, but he recovered beautifully.
Now let's watch as Yakko continues with the L's.
YYakko
[starting to get fatigued] Libation and libertine, limited, limousine Limpid and limbo and lime Lima and lipid and literature, liquid And listing and liter and line. There's lobby and loading and loathsome and loaning. And loco and then locomotion. There's lotus and lottery, lobo, lobotomy. Logic and loosen and lotion. Lozenge and lubber and lucky and lover. And lullaby, lumber and Luke. Luster and luscious and lunatic, lustrous. And lurking and lunar and lute.
YYakko
[overly exhausted] Zachary, Zanzibar, zappy and zamindar. Zillion and Zipcode and Zen. Zany and zoning and zeal and zirconium. Zodiac, zombie, zayin.
Yakko Warner, now moments away from having sung all the words in the English language. Dick Button, is he going to make it?
If it was anyone else, I'd say no, but he's young, he's resilient; we'll just have to see.
YYakko
Zigging and zagging and zealous and zebra. And zenith and zap and zaffer. Zeppelin and zipper and zephyr and zither. Then zinc and zombini. And zoo and zucchini. And Zulu and Zorro. Then zit and Zamora. And zero and zoom and - ugh! [falls down]
YYakko
Wait! [struggles up on his knees] Zaire! [falls down again]
[After Yakko sang All the Words in the English Language]
He did it! Yakko Warner has just sung all the words in the English language!
Hey, congratulations, Yakko!
YYakko
[gets ready to stand up] Thanks, Dick.
Join us next time, when Yakko Warner will sing all of the numbers above zero. Good night!
[Upon hearing this, Yakko bulges his eyes and faints]
[Both Yakko and Wakko run into the hot dog stand guy. The tired Dot walks up normally]
YYakko
Hi. You must be Mr. Hot Dog Stand Guy.
HDHot Dog Stand Guy
Maybe I am! WHO ARE YOU?!
[hops into the hot dog stand guy's arms] And I'm cute, you great, big, hunk of a man you. [stretching her arms]
HDHot Dog Stand Guy
Oh, yeah?! Well, either you buy some hot dogs or LEAVE!!!
YYakko
[to the viewers] Our new "special friend".
[Both Yakko and Wakko look at each other]
YYakko
Hey Dot, how about a little enthusiasm?
Nah. I'm not in the mood for it today.
YYakko
Hmm...Wanna skip this cartoon?
[Dot nods]
[The Warners leave]
HDHot Dog Stand Guy
Hey. Hey, come back! Hey! This cartoon's my big break! HEY! Sheesh. Stars. [takes off the fake mustache, puts it in the mustard jar, takes off the apron, throws it aside, and walks off]
[The sidewalk reveals to be the set; the lights turned off]
YYakko
So sister, what's your story?
Well, I was born in the wagon of a travelin' show, my mama used to dance for the money they'd throw. Papa would do what...
BMBette Midler
[bursting through the door, singing] It's only one eye, but it's open!
YYakko
No, not you either. [referring to Hello Nurse] HER!
YYakko
[facepalm] All he-man detectives call women 'Sister' in the politically unaware decades preceding Women's Liberation. [to Hello Nurse] So sister, [to Dot] who's really not my sister but I'm just CALLING sister... [to Hello Nurse] you're about to describe your caper.
Well, it's a little green pickle that's sometimes found in salads.
[A You Bet Your Life-style fanfare plays]
YYakko
That is correct! Tell her what she's won!
[hops into Hello Nurse's arms] A date with me!
YYakko
Of course, we can find him. [holds her romantically] Now about our fee.
[pulls out the money] I'm prepared to pay well.
YYakko
Fine. We only ask one thing.
YYakko
Never put us on opposite "60 Minutes"; we'll get creamed. [takes the money and drops Hello Nurse on the butt]
Is this true about "The Wagon and the Traveling Show"? I don't remember that.
[to Yakko; annoyed] Can we please move on?
YYakko
[to Hello Nurse] Tell us, where did you last see your boss?
In the Mambo Room at the Tropicombo Club. A band was playing Latin dance music. I was with the doctor, he mumbled something. The band had a big dumb guy playing drums and everyone was dancing under a pole, then the doctor vanished.
YYakko
Now, lemme get this straight: He muttered some mumbo-jumbo during the Combo Samba in the Mambo at the Tropicombo. Then there was a jumbo dumbo playing the limbo on the bongos and then he was gone?
That is absolutely correct!
[A You Bet Your Life-style fanfare plays]
YYakko
Tell her what she's won!
[hops into Hello Nurse's arms again] Another date with me!
How come I always get the booby prize?
I'm not touching that one.
YYakko
to his siblings] Let's hit the road!
I claim this statue in the name of Gulf and Western.
MMMinerva Mink
I claim it in the name of Rupert Murdoch.
Uh, by gad, sir. I claim it in the name of Matsu...I mean, Mateshootie...uh...for Seagram's.
YYakko
Ah, I've got it. The mink is working for Fox, the pair of legs is working for Paramount, and the guy who needs rehearsal's working for Universal!
[dryly] Thank you, Dr. Seuss.
YYakko
7 x 3 is 21, which, as you know, is just two 10s plus 1, and so, we put the 1 right here, and we carry the 2, one left to the top of the tens place, right next door and we put it on top of the number 4, which is really four 10s that we multiply times 3 in the ones place and that's why we now have 12, which we add to the 2 that we carry to get 14.
See how easy that was?
Oho, it's multiplication it's math education.
Hey, Albert Einstein said that it's so easy to do.
It's simple, it's breezy, it's fun and it's easy,
Just buy a calculator, you can multiply, too!
And now, the second digit. 7 x 8 is 56, Which, as you know, is just five 10s plus 6, and so, we put the 6 right here in the tens place, left of the 1 and we carry the 5 like we did before to the top of the tens place next to the 4, then multiply that 4 x 8 to get 32. See, isn't this great? Then, we add the 5 that we carried before to get 37, then add once more straight down to get 3,901!
Isn't this swell?
Oh, let's give multiplication a standing ovation!
Isaac Newton multiplied a couple times two!
YNYakko and Newton
Times two! Times two! Times two!
YYakko
It's simple, it's breezy, it's fun and it's easy,
So buy a calculator and study this stuff later.
Maybe someday, you can multiply numbers 2, 3, 4, 5. Recess!
[singing about Googy] The censors all protest, 'cuz she's practically undressed, the cartoon vamp.
YWYakko and Wakko
Hello Googy!
YYakko
[about the Fleischer animation that brings all inanimate objects to life] This is going to be the most frightening six minutes of our lives.
WSWakko's Nose
[comes to life] I know just how you feel. [hops off of Wakko]
YYakko
[having an idea; takes out the handkerchief along with his siblings] Prepare to wipe!
[The Warners run after the nose]
CCensor
We want no kissing in these cartoons, and entirely no lewd behavior and attire, [points at Googy] like that outfit for instance. Take it off this instant!
GGoogy
[reacts in embarrassment] Oh!
YYakko
Goodnight, everybody!
YYakko
Got a tramp steamer, my ship's called "Hal".
40 miles on the Panama Canal.
YYakko
Got a cargo of sodas, they are low cal.
40 miles on the Panama Canal.
Sailing 'cross the Caribbean Sea
To the Pacific in a jiffy
Through Panama, but not on land.
I'd look silly with my ship in the sand.
Yo, Hal, try the canal,
Yo, Hal, the canal is your pal!
You can sail a cargo ship from sea to shining sea
Through the Panama Canal for a nominal fee.
YYakko
You enter a lock, it's a ship corral.
40 miles on the Panama Canal.
YYakko
You pay your money then get a decal.
40 miles on the Panama Canal.
You cross the locks; they number 3,
Full of water for you and me.
100 feet wide, 41 feet deep,
Water enough to drench a sheep.
High lock, up goes the ship.
Low lock, the ship takes a dip.
First they raise the water level, then lower it again.
'Cross the Panama Canal, it's really zen.
YYakko
We pass the locks with good morale.
40 miles on the Panama Canal.
YYakko
The crew yells out.
Thank you, Hal! 40 miles on the Panama Canal.
You're welcome, men! Wasn't that fun?
40 miles, our voyage is done.
From Colón now past Balboa,
Adios, Panama! So long! Aloha!
[looking at herself in the mirror] Mirror Mirror on the wall, who is the cutest one of all?
YWYakko and Wakko
Helloooooooo, NURSE!!!
[The sexy music plays]
She's the woman of the year, independent, a career,
There's not a thing that she couldn't do.
Oh, she's alert, she's aware, she's got legs like Astaire
And a hundred-fifty-seven IQ.
She has several Ph.D.s, speaks fluent Japanese,
And her shoes will always match with her purse.
Whatever street she's walkin' down, everybody turns around and says...
YWYakko and Wakko
Helloooooooo, NURSE!!!
She likes cheese and pepperoni, won a Pulitzer and a Tony,
She played the leading role in King Lear.
She never drinks, she never smokes, she never laughs at dirty jokes,
She was ambassador to China last year.
Oh, she's politically correct, she'd never co-collect,
She plays Chopin and she doesn't rehearse.
And when she's walkin' by, I give a little sign And say...
YWYakko and Wakko
Helloooooooo, NURSE!!!
Wakko:
She gets her math equations right, she reads Tolstoy every night,
She won the Nobel Prize in physics. It's true.
She drives a shiny new Corvette, sings opera at the Met,
Snd volunteers her time at the zoo.
She won a scholarship to Yale, got her Fulbright in the mail,
And took a two-year junior college degree.
She's manna sent from heaven, too bad I'm only seven 'cause,
Hello Nurse, I wish you'd take care of me!
YWYakko and Wakko
If she's not everything that we've said, then may lightning strike us dead! [lightning struck] Helloooooooo, NURSE!!! [kiss]
There once was a man, his name was Magellan.
A Portuguese skipper, the girls found him cute.
He sailed with five ships to find the East Indies
Then come back to Spain with a bounty of loot.
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo, oh, happy Magellan!
Starting your journey with hardly a care!
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo, strong, brave Magellan,
You'll find the East Indies, you just don't know where!
YYakko
They crossed the Atlantic and spotted a country. Magellan said...
MMagellan
It's the East Indies at last!
YYakko
But then someone shouted...
YYakko
Magellan got cranky and chopped down the mast.
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo, settle down, Magellan.
Put down that axe! There's no time to despair.
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo, keep trying, Magellan,
You'll find the East Indies, you just don't know where!
A great storm arose in the mighty Pacific.
The five little ships were diminished to three.
At last, land was sighted. Magellan was happy.
But then someone shouted...
Warners:
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo, cheer up, Magellan.
Check out your map and don't tear out your hair!
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo, keep trying, Magellan,
You'll find the East Indies, you just don't know where!
It took them five months, but they crossed the Pacific.
They spotted a land that was dotted with palms.
Magellan proclaimed...
MMagellan
Yes! That's the East Indies!
YYakko
But then someone shouted...
Hey, I think that's Guam!
Ai yi yi yi, oops, Magellan!
Your fun little journey's become a nightmare!
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo, keep trying, Magellan,
You'll find the East Indies, you just don't know where!
They sailed due west to the Philippine Islands.
Magellan was pleased as the natives drew near.
But then someone shouted...
I think they're attacking!
YYakko
And got hit by a spear.
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo, farewell, Magellan!
You almost made it! It's really not fair!
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo, oh, ghost of Magellan,
The East Indies Islands were right over there!
Animaniacs · 261 quotes
