[Finn, Jake and a wizard run into Marceline's house to find her unconscious on the floor]
FinnMarceline! What's wrong with her?!
She accidentally cast a sleep spell on herself, and now she's trapped in eternal slumber!
Finn
Tell us how to break the spell!
I'll transport you into Marceline's mind, where you will walk through her memories and find the memory core.
Find the memory of Marceline casting the sleep spell on herself. At your touch, you and the memory will be transported back to reality.
But like, if you know all this, why not just do it yourself?
Entering a person's mind can be dangerous. And I don't have any arms. Just legs. [stretches his right leg] Ungh... Yeah, here we go... Oh... [jabs his toe at Finn's forehead]
Finn
What? [a bright white light flashes out of his forehead] What'd you do to my forehead?
When you get close to the memory, your forehead will glow. Here, take this. It's a sack of magic powder. Sit on the couch and sprinkle the powder on your head.
Finn
Like this? [he and Jake sprinkle the powder on their heads]
Yep. Like that. Feel sleepy?
Good. Sleep now. But know this!
If you fail, Marceline will be trapped in eternal sleep... FOREVER!!! [both gasp] And everr! And everrr~!!
Finn
[sniffs] This place reeks.
Yo, man, your thing is glowing.
Finn
My what? [touches forehead] Oh, my thing.
We must be close to the core. I see another door over there. Come on.
Finn
[looks up] Wait a sec, Jake... It's that guy again.
AAsh
Hey... open your eyes, look at this, Mar-Mar. Check it out. It's my new wand. These cherry blossoms... look-look as close as you can, and they're real. [Marceline puts her finger near a cherry blossom and gets zapped]
Wow. Awesome. Where'd you get the money for that thing?
AAsh
Oh, I sold that teddy bear that you love so much. [beat] To a witch.
You... what?! Are you crazy?! That was my favorite thing in the whole world!!
AAsh
That's why it's so valuable, genius. For potions? [summons a ghost from his wand]
GGhost
[croons] You're not a genius... You're not a genius...
[crying] That's the last straw, Ash! That's it! You're a psycho jerk and you ruined my life...
AAsh
But... But not all of it—
IT'S OVER, YOU PSYCHO!!!! [storms off angrily]
Finn
Ice King! How many times have we warned you about using love potion?
That's why I'm using honey.
Man, who cares if it's honey? You stink anyways!
Finn
[laughs] Yeah. You stink so much I'monna ground you for a week.
Finn
You're grounded for two weeks!
YOU'RE grounded for two weeks!
Finn
Three. Weeks.
Why!? I didn't do anything..!
Finn
Four weeks...?
Okay, mister, you are really trying my patience! How clear can I be?! All I want you to do is hit them—on the shoulder, or something. [punches Scorcher's shoulder] Are you even listening? Oh, I get it. [takes a wad of dollar bills] Here's double the grease to not kill Finn and Jake. [Scorches incinerates money] You trying to hustle me, Scorcher? Okay. I'll play this game. How about this prize piece for your pad? [turns on singing deer head on a plaque]
SDSinging Deer Head
I wanna live, live, live I wanna live, live, live— [Scorcher burns it]
NOOOOOO!!! Huh. Okay... How about these bad boys—night vision x-ray goggles for when you have a lady houseguest? [Scorcher burns goggles off his face] Auh!! Come on! At least renegotiate the target! You can destroy my least favorite princesses. What about Lumpy Space Princess? [Scorcher burns LSP picture] Ghost Princess? I can't even hold her with my love mitts. [Scorcher burns GP picture] Aw, geez! Uh... [Scorches blasts fire in front of his face] Oh! A-A leg cramp, in my leg! Ow, ow! O-Oh, this is so embarrassing. I'll be right back. Ow! Ow!
[he hides behind left side of the entry]
[sighs] Think, baby. Come on. Ah! [pulls laptop out of his beard; starts typing "hitman hitman"] All right, let's hit the hitman, right? There's got to be a... Ah! "Blastronaut—#1 solution for all hitman problems." Sheesh! $99.95?! That's nuts! [clicks "place order"; enters target name] "Scor... cher." ["target acquired"]
[as Scorchers reads pages on a table, the wall suddenly explodes and Blastronaut bursts in, shooting lasers everywhere]
[Scorcher remains still until advancing to slice Blastronaut in half; a naked goblin jumps out of the suit. He sees Ice King behind him and jumps off the mountain]
No!! Come back, you wussy!! [turns to Scorcher] Ooh, that was weird. [Scorcher clenches his fiery fist] Was that your friend, or something? [chuckles nervously] Look, a supermodel! Look, a hoverboard! Look, the apocalypse! Someone got hit in the boingloings. [beat] Hit in the boingloings! ..Boingloings! Boingloings! Somebody got hit in them. [Scorcher turns left] Peace out!
[he freezes Scorcher and flies away, not before Scorcher starts melting his icy chamber]
Oh! Freakin' butt! Butt, butt, butt!
Finn
Well not really
I had a dream about meatman last night
Finn
[appears next to him] Wow really?
FFionna
Ice King is the hottest hottie, and I can't wait to marry him....
"..said Fionna! Then she turned to Prince Gumball and said, 'I hope Ice King will sweep me off my feet and take me to the farthest corner of Ooo, where we will do nothing but kiss and eat a whole bunch until we get fat and die!' The end." So, what did you think of the fan fiction I wrote about you guys?
Finn
[encased with Jake with manuscripts beside Gunter] Uuhh...
Tell me you though it was GOOD!!
Finn
[squeaked] Awh, it's good, it's good! It's REALLY good dude, it was amazing!
Well, I shouldn't have to justify what I do
I shouldn't have to prove anything to you
Finn
It's working! Look at the door!
I'm sorry that I exist, I forget what landed me on your blacklist
But I shouldn't have to be the one that makes up with you.
Finn
Tree Trunks, is there anyone you can think of who might want to crunk you up?
O-oh no, Finn. I take great care to assure that-that I'm loved by even the most heinous cretins and—
Hey, guys! I found something! Look! [Finn and Tree Trunks join Jake near the hole]
RPRaggedy Princess
Oh, heheh, hey, Finn! Heheh...
Finn
Oh, hey, Raggedy Princess. Have you seen anything fishy going on?
RPRaggedy Princess
Um, no, heheh. I've been kinda down in this hole for a long time. [laughs nervously] I got knocked down here by some ne'er-do-wells. It was terrible! I was so scared.
Ne'er-do-wells?! They stole my apples! [yells] I'm gonna sass those boys up nasty!
Finn
[laughs] Awesome. Where do we find these guys?
Oh... the Candy Tavern, man. I used to hang out there back when I used to snatch old ladies' purses. [Finn "boops"] Don't worry, I stopped doing that a long time ago. I didn't know it was wrong. [Finn "pings"]
Okay, you two, let's get going.
Finn
[poking] Jake! Jake!
Finn
I heard a sound coming from the sewer! We should check it out!
No man, they'll surprise party me when they're ready. Be patient.
Finn
I'm being patient! I waited all day, Jake!
Well, I've been waiting six months!
("Six months... Six months... Six months... Six months...")
Finn
Wait... What're you saying?
Everything's gonna be fine... [yawn] even if we have to wait... FOREVER....
Finn
Have I been asleep for six months?!
Yeah, man...but it's fine.
(More roaches crawl around Jake from his inner ear.)
Finn
(thinking) Face it, Finn -- your best friend is gone.
(With that conclusion, Finn wheels himself toward the sewer!)
NOOOOOOOO! DON'T RUIN THE SURPRISE!!!
(Jake intercepts Finn, grabbing his wheelchair and jamming its wheel with his arm, bursting it apart as Jake smashes it. Finn tries to reach the sewer, but Jake sees him.)
Finn
Oh, glob!!
(Finn hopelessly flails his arms as Jake carries him away from the sewer. The scene cuts to black.)
MMMe-Mow
You did it! Well done! I guess I'll be on my way.
BGBerry Guard 1
[running to Wildberry Princess with her crown] Princess! Oh, Princess!
BGBerry Guard 2
You're alive!
BGBerry Guard 1
We saw your crown next to a pile of dirty meat. [Me-Mow gets ticked off] Then we slipped on the meat! And I thought I tasted your juice, [sobbing] but it was just blood from the meat! WE'RE SO GLAD IT WASN'T ACTUALLY YOU!!!
MMMe-Mow
[snarls loudly] YOU LIAR!! [stabs nose wall with poison syringe]
Finn
Jake?
MMMe-Mow
Okay, Jake. I've injected you with half the poison, and you'll be dead in 30 minutes, unless you kill the princess, which is when I'll give you the antidote. [Jakes grabs hold on Finn's shirt on the floor]
Finn
What's wrong?
MMMe-Mow
If you say anything, I'll stab you in the brain!
Finn, when I die, my individual Earth consciousness is gonna go all over everywhere while Glob tallies my deeds.
Finn
..What?
I'm gonna be all around you. In your nose and your dreams and socks — I'll be part of your Earth mind! It's gonna be great!
Finn
Dude... Stop. Saying. All this. Crazy. Nonsense. It's making me messed up. I'm 13. You're messin' me up.
Adventure Time · 447 quotes
