[Finn and Alva ride on the giant bear to see Jake fighting a giant crab on the shore]
FinnJake! Hey, Jake!
Oh, hey, buddy! Man, am I glad to see you. Hold on a second. [kicks giant crab away, turns to Finn, Alva and the giant bear] Man, this place sucks. I got attacked by nineteen giant crabs in just the last 30 seconds!
Finn
Yeah, man. I almost got eaten by this—
Hey, that's awesome! Now let's get the heck outta here. Are they coming, too? I'm not sharing my rations.
Finn
What? No, this is Alva. I... I-I think she's human. [starts drawing down his notebook] Alva, have you seen my friends? BMO... and Susan?
[he shows his crude illustrations of BMO and Susan to Alva; she slowly shakes her head]
Oh, stuff, man. That's the slow shake. That's the universal death gesture!
AAlva
Nej, nej! [as she speaks in Swedish, she begins drawing wave lines, a shape and a compass. She waves her arm and draws three more that are shaped like islands]
Finn
Oh! Shoot, man, more islands. BMO and Susan must've washed all up on one of all up of them.
Well, it looks like there's only three more. This shouldn't be too hard. [long pause] Right?
[BMO's avatar @MOD (a giant masculine body with three eyepatches) carries Finn and Jake's avatars to his sanctuary. A green, small-rounded, big nosed avatar named Vinny greets them]
VVinny
Well, look who it is! Welcome back to your palace, your majesty.
Hi, Vinny! [slowly lowers Finn and Jake's avatars on the floor]
VVinny
Who's Vinny? I thought I was hereby known as "Get in heeyah!"
I deserve that. I'm sorry I yelled at you. [touches a virtual screen] I've just been so zip-zopped-out over the bip-bops.
Finn
What?
VVinny
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who let these two system dumps into the chat room? Know what I'm saying?!
Yes, I do, Vinny. BRB. [opens a giant hole] I'm gonna go deep dope my ping-pong zilp-zorch.
Finn
What?
Vinny, can you hook my friends up with some BMO brand avies? [enters hole, closes]
VVinny
What's the magic password? [BMO opens hole]
Please, Vinny. [closes hole]
Finn
[having a talk with BMO] So, you really don't want to come with us?
You sure you don't want me to milk you up a fresh new style?
Finn
No, I'm used to it now. Why don't you want to come with us?
I mean, I do want to go with you. But I am a beautiful, big man here. All of my instincts are in sync with this computer world. I'm really comfortable here.
Finn
Yeah, but it's all fake.
What's real? Your eyeballs think the sky is blue, but that's just sun rays farting apart through the barf of our atmosphere. The sky is black.
Finn
Susan? I mean, Kara? Seems like you're leading us somewhere.
We're taking a ship to Founders Island, because judging by the state of these facilities... [punches through a facility door] Hub Island has been abandoned for over a decade. Dang, I missed big words. [enters a seaport full of rundown ships] This island is where I trained to be a Seeker.
[Kara squeezes herself in the only working ship followed by Finn]
Finn
So, wait, why are we going to Founders Island? [Kara sits down]
I'm taking you back to your mom. BMO, would you talk to this console? I can't access it without my implant. [Finn is slowly shellshocked]
Finn
Um, you knew my mom?! You're gonna just drop that?!
Her name is Minerva. She's a Helper. [BMO completes configuration] Oh, thanks, BMO. Now let's try and start this sucker.
MMinerva
Your world seems so chaotic. Your ruler's a piece of gum, your friend's a vampire, you dated a bit of fire. Your life is constantly in danger!
Finn
It's my home. It's where I belong.
MMinerva
As your mother, I think you belong somewhere safe. It's not your responsibility to fight monsters all the time. Let the grass kid do it, or the vampire girl. Minerva Bot 5, ready the cloud chamber. [Minerva Bot 5 carries the cloud chamber out of the water] Now, be a good boy and get into this machine so it can juice up your precious essence.
[Finn gasps, Jake spits his desserts and eats some more. Finn breathes in and out with his eyes closed]
Finn
Mom, not only am I not getting juiced, I'm gonna leave this place and take everyone to freedom! [they both leave]
MMinerva
Okay, sweetie, but I think you'll find everyone's pretty happy here.
[on the ship home, Finn puts on the "Better Reality" VR headset. He finds himself in his former childhood home]
Finn
Hmm. Homey.
MMinerva
It was. [Finn turns to see Minerva and they hug each other] Take care of yourself in Ooo. Be careful when you're eating blueberries. Too many can hurt your tummy. [she then starts dissipating] Your ship is moving out of range.
Finn
Is this really you? Once you uploaded your brain and stuff, like, are you still the same person?
MMinerva
I don't know for sure, but I feel like it's me. I hope that's enough.
[she dissipates and everything around Finn fades to black. The real Finn takes a moment as a single tear streams down his cheek]
Finn
..Goodbye.
[Finn rides on Jake as they walk along a pinker, radically different version of Ooo]
Finn
Does everything seem... pinker to you?
Home always looks different after a long trip. You're seeing it with fresh eyes and newfound wisdom. And sometimes there's also a new strip mall or something. So everything being pink is probably not a big deal, and also, I'm tired. [BMO comes out of Finn's backpack]
I like the pink. Why you worry so much, worry baby?
Ha, ha, yeah! Why you worry so much, worry baby?
Don't worry, Finn. We're only teasing you because you're a baby.
[giving Finn a haircut] Mr. Mertens, I know I'm just a humble scissors jockey, but you've been coming in my shop for almost 20 years. I can tell when you got something on your mind. [Finn sighs, Jake combs and cuts his hair]
Finn
I think... I think what's bugging me is... [zoom in on Jake]
[thinking out loud] "The haircut therapy is working!"
Finn
..All this elemental stuff happened because I acted selfishly.
Finn
It's like I'm employee of the month at an ice cream store, and I get someone to cover my shift, and when I come back, the place is burned to the ground and everyone I love is doomed. And now we're up here and we can't do anything to help. Did I secretly want that to happen? Like, deep down inside, was I afraid Fern would be better than me? And my lizard brain put out bad vibes? I guess the worst part of all is... [Jake removes suit off Finn]
All right, you're all done, Mr. Mertens. How's it look?
Finn
Jake! I was talking about important stuff!
Sorry, I always get caught up in the haircut.
Finn
Rap Bear.
RBRap Bear
(groans) My son and I were having Sunday dinner. We were lightly rapping back and forth. It turned into a rap battle. He threw out rhyme after rhyme. I couldn't keep up.
Finn
You got beat by your own son?
Are his rap powers that much greater than yours?
RBRap Bear
Yes. Why are you asking about my son?
Finn
Flame Princess is going up against him one on one in a freestyle battle.
RBRap Bear
(gasps) That kid will take you apart. He rapped my legs off.
Adventure Time · 447 quotes
