Paul quotes from 8 Simple Rules

Paul

What happened to a couple of friends over?

Bridget

More came, so now it's a kick back.

Paul

You mean a party.

Bridget

No, no. Mom said we can't have parties. Twenty or fewer is a kick back.

Paul

I'll drive all of you in the mini van.

Bridget

Oh my God. The loser cruiser.

Cate

So where's your family tonight, Carter?

Wife number one is in Aspen with my girls. Wife number two went back to Italy with my boys. Wife number four, my current wife, she's vacationing with her mother in Martha's Vineyard.

Paul

What about wife number three?

We don't ever talk about wife number three. I love wife number four.

Cate

You're the adult here, Paul! Why don't you call Carter and explain what happened?

Paul

Oh, yeah, that's a great idea, Cate. "Here's the picture my son stole from your house, when do we start the book?"

Paul

We can let [Bridget] stay home a couple of days. What's the harm?

Cate

Paul, and I say this from a loving place...

Paul

I hate the loving place. I'm always wrong in the loving place.

Cate

What message do you think you're sending Bridget if you let her stay home from school?

Paul

Her father loves her more than her mother.

Bridget

I'm not going to school, Dad.

Paul

Honey, you know deep down, no one is going to care what you look like.

Bridget

What high school did you go to? You saw Kerry's video. I'm shallow. I get by on my looks. I can't go to school like this.

Paul

A broken nose is not a good reason to miss school, to avoid life. Bridget, you know beauty is only skin deep and so what if some of the kids make fun of you.

Bridget

But I'm not used to it, like Kerry.

Cate

Hey, do you see that girl?

Rory

Oh yeah! Talk about News Flash !

Paul

Rory! [still looking at the News Footage], She can't even be out of high school. She's about the same age as, as a matter of fact, she looks a little like, alot like...

BRIDGET!

Rory

UGHHHHHH!!!

Cate

I am so nervous.

Paul

Why? You're a great nurse.

Cate

But now I have to boss people around.

Paul

You're great at that too. Like they say, do what you know.

Paul

I'm looking forward to haveing a lovely dinner with my children.

Cate

Girls, where's your brother?

Kerry

Don't know.

Bridget

Don't care.

Kerry

Maybe he's lost.

Bridget

Maybe a bear got him.

Cate

Rory, you want to come to the hospital with me?

Paul

Or to the newspaper with me? Big presses, jelly donuts...

Rory

Don't make me choose between…

Cate

Student nurses, bloody guys.

Rory

Hospital!

Paul

It's like a girls' mafia.

Bridget

There's no such thing as a girls' mafia. Just a highly structured secret society with a set of rules and severe consequences.

Kerry

There's a secret society?

Bridget

No.

Paul

(about the Doyles) They swing dance as a family.

Cate

We're doing it and that's final! As a family?

Cate

Awww! It's Donny Doyle! He's under Bridget's window. He's serenading her.

Paul

(takes off his shoe) I'm on it.

Cate

Paul!

Paul

Cate, he's conning us! Those serenading mid-shipmen virgins are all liars.

Paul

What do you like to do for fun, Maggie?

Well, lately, I've been using Ted's personal information to destroy his credit!

Paul

(about the pregnancy test) Kerry, Bridget...Beach, Care Bear...

Cate

(hesitantly) Paul... it's mine.