Jim quotes from 8 Simple Rules

Jim

C.J., the pain in my hip is still here, but now the pain in my ass is in Canada.

Bridget

No, I said it's what I'm most thankful for.

Jim

And, what about you, Cate? What are you thankful for?

Cate

Well, I'm thankful for my wonderful children, and for my great dad and my mom even though she couldn't be here.

Jim

That's what I'm thankful for.

Cate

Dad, don't go looking for trouble!

Jim

I don't. Trouble finds me.

Jim

Ask him to leave.

Rory

I can't. He doesn't have any ears. I mean he shows up all the time. He's there in the morning. He's there in the shower. I understand why he's there when Missy Kleinfeld walks by. But Hunter and I were haveing cheeseburgers and he was there too.

Jim

Oh, yeah, yeah. You know when I was your age, my friend kept showing up too. We were like Hope and Crosby.

Rory

Who? You do realize I'm talking about my—

Jim

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're talking about the same thing, son. What you're going through is perfectly normal.

Rory

How can this be normal? I can barely walk.

Jim

Calm down. See this is what happens with a boy your age. Well, in time it will pass. It's a phase. Usually when you get married it will go away completely.

Rory

So it's normal. Good thanks. So what am I supposed to do in the meantime?

Jim

Well try to avoid any situations where your friend, you know, tada. You know I'm always telling you to stand up straight, don't hunch over and get your hands out of your pockets.

Rory

Yeah.

Jim

Well hunch over and put them back in.

Jim

Bridget, you're not going back to that job.

Bridget

You're not my parent. You're my grandparent. You're supposed to give me money and presents and be cute.

Cate

Dad, what did we say about hitting C.J. with your cane?

Jim

Not to do it. It's cause of him I'm using the damn cane, tripping over his damn extension cord, bruising my hip. Now I can't stand up. I can't walk.

Cate

Dad, let's be positive. There must be something you can do.

Jim

I can plot my revenge.

Jim

Kerry's so angry. I've never seen such raw, naked hostility since... you know.

Cate

The Korean War?

Jim

No, your mother.