Paul quotes from 8 Simple Rules, page 5 ... TV Quotes Database

Paul

Stop fighting or I'm going to turn this car around!

Cate

Paul, we're in the living room.

Paul

It's just a saying.

Cate

It's a saying in a car!

S2 Premiere

View quote →

Bridget (when she learns Cate is teaching sex education): So, you just say yes without even totally considering how it can completely ruin my life?

Paul

Bridget, I think it's an honor your mother is going to teach you sexual education. After all, she taught me.

BRBridget and Rory

Ew!

Bridget

Do you guys not understand what situation I am in here? I mean, Donny Doyle's coming in this weekend to see me.

Paul

So?

Bridget

So, people already perceive my dating Donny Doyle as a slap in the face! I mean, you know, he's older and he goes to the naval academy instead of his school, and then Danielle's going to this party this weekend, she's all, "You better be there," and I'm all, "Uh, yeah," but Donny's all, "Oh, no, I don't want to share you," which is actually very sweet when you think about it, but it's just the sort of thing that Danielle's gonna use against me, and then (points at Cate) you have to go and exacerbate the whole thing by teaching sex ed at my school!

Rory

On the bright side, she did say "exacerbate."

S2 Sex Ed

View quote →

Bridget

Why do bad things always happen to me?

Paul

Nothing bad ever happens to you.

Bridget

Oh, yeah.

S2 Sex Ed

View quote →

Rory

Well, Bridget broke up with him [Donny] on that tape. (Everyone looks shocked) Oh no! I thought everyone knew!

FFred

Your daughter broke up with our Donny...

MEMary Ellen

...On our video tape?

Paul

You stole Donny's harmony part?!

S2 Donny Goes AWOL

View quote →

Paul

Donny, you went AWOL? This could have serious consequences!

DDonny

I don't care! I'd face a thousand firing squads for Bridget!

Paul

And you realize I'm going to have to tell your parents about this.

DDonny

Oh, no, don't do that! They'll kill me!

S2 Donny Goes AWOL

View quote →

(When Paul is checking messages on the answering machine)

FMFirst Message

Hey, neighbor! Fred and Mary Ellen Doyle...

SMSecond Message

Hey, neighbor! Fred and Mary Ellen Doyle...

TMThird Message

Hey, neighbor! Fred and Mary Ellen Doyle...

Cate

You know, you could return one of Fred's calls!

Paul

I can't talk to you when you're like this! I swear, he would keep calling even if I changed the outgoing message to, "Doyle, you idiot, stop calling!"

(The doorbell rings and Paul answers it)

FFred

Hey, neighbor! Kept trying to call, but I think something's wrong with your machine.

Rory

There's something wrong with the answering machine? (starts to play Fred's message)

Paul

Rory, you fixed it!

Rory

But...

Paul

I said, YOU FIXED IT!!!

S2 Donny Goes AWOL