BBev
What was your reason for wanting to adopt?
Thank you, for that question, Bev. The world is a troubled place, and so many children in need of adoption worldwide...
BBev
Infertility? or Other.
Other.
S3 E1Do-Over
What I'm saying is: don't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want to have. So now, Manny?
MManny
Tomorrow I show up for work, dressed as a Mexican Wrestler.
This is G.E.!
DBDevon Banks
It's just G now, Jack, I sold the E. To Samsung. They're Samesung now.
S3 E2Believe in the Stars
[Excited about cable TV] There's a whole channel on the cable that just tells you what's on the other channels!
I know, Kenneth. It's okay.
I'm glad I'm not a white man, Mr. Donaghy. ...Is SpongeBob SquarePants supposed to be terrifying?
You're darn right he is, Kenneth.
JJeffrey
Okay, I'm Jeffrey. I am a mediator, and you two are having a dispute. Now why is that?
Because Tracy thinks he can treat me unfairly because I'm a woman.
What? Please, we are here because white folks think they can do whatever they want to do to black folks. It's like when Adrien Brody kissed Halle Berry at the Oscars! White people stole jazz, rock 'n roll, Will Smith, and heart disease! Now they think they can take my hard-earned money.
Be a white man. Take credit.
S3 E3The One with the Cast of Night Court
No, listen to me. She's not fun, she's just crazy. Like, grab-a-cop's-gun crazy.
Lemon, having known Claire for a very enjoyable 20 minutes and you for what feels like infinity, I'm going to go with Claire on this one.
What is wrong with you men? You're like junkies...why can't you just say no?
Lemon, let me explain something to you that you could have no way of knowing: emotionally unstable women are fantastic in the sack and their self-loathing translates into... never mind.
You're breaking union rules. Our insurance doesn't cover any of this. And you're potentially infringing on Warner Brothers intellectual property. Shut this down!
I want a different answer. Where's Jack Donaghy?
No there's no more Jack. He's dead to us. Break this down! Everybody out!
S3 E4Gavin Volure
I've had to send more money home lately. There are problems on the farm. After years of inbreeding the pigs are getting violent and the pig shield around the house has worn thin.
Kenneth, how much money do you have in your savings?
Well, let's see. [looks in his coffee can] Eighty thousand dollars!
If you don't include Confederate money?
Four thousand dollars!
[after seeing "Tracy" sitting in the middle of the hallway] Tracy, get out of the hallway.
[jumps out from around the corner] OR AM I?
Oh God, this dream again.
That's not me. That's a Tracy Jordan Japanese Sex Doll. You can tell us apart because it's not suffering from a vitamin deficiency.
GVGavin Volure
He's gonna' do it! Gavin Volure's gonna' jump!
Don't Gavin! That's gotta be fifteen, sixteen feet!
I thought by now you’d be somewhere that US law couldn’t touch you; like Bali, or Utah.
S3 E5Reunion
Oh, Miss Lemon. You have several messages. Aw, let's see, that company running the bike tour in South Carolina says no singles. Uh, your credit card called; they want to make sure you're the one buying cream soda in bulk.
I sure am.
And your landlord called and he says it's not the toilet, it's you.
That's his opinion.
Jenna, we're the most important people here, right?
Well, of course, Tracy. We're actors. If we didn't exist how would people know who to vote for?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 30 Rock pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.