30 Rock quotes

268 total quotes

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Angie: As you know, my single, "My Single Is Dropping," is dropping.

Angie: D'Fwan, glue in the business weave.

Dick Lemon: Hey, Liz. It's your father, Dick Lemon.
Liz: Dad, you don't have to say your name every time.
Dick Lemon: Telephone etiquette is important, Liz. It lets people know your race even when they can't see you.

Dotcom: This would have really bothered me in my 20's.

Frank: There was a cyclone in Brooklyn last year. It destroyed two vinatage t-shirt stores and a banjo.

Jack: [making lessons DVD] In the unlikely event that you encounter something that is not covered here, find a woman named Elizabeth Lemon, get her advice, and then do the opposite.

Jack: Certainly you can't be surprised that there's a lot of negative stuff about you out there. Don't you ever Google yourself?
Tracy: Sure, I google myself all the time, like when Angie's not in the mood or I'm alone in a hotel.

Jack: Congratulations. According to the transitive property, you just defeated Muammar Qaddafi in arm wrestling.

Jack: Diversity is the engine that drives this country. We are an immigrant nation! The first generation works their fingers to the bone making things, the next generation goes to college and innovates new ideas, the third generation... snowboards and takes improv classes.

Jack: Does it seem weird to you? Everything looks like a Mexican soap opera. Good God, I can see every line and pore on your face.
Liz: Yeah, well my face cream was recalled. Apparently it was killing the lab rats'...Ugh what was it?... brains!

Jack: Good God. Lemon, those jeans make you look like a Mexican sports reporter.

Jack: I believe that when you have a problem, you talk it over with your priest, or your tailor, or the mute elevator porter at your men's club, and you take that problem and crush it with your mind vise. But for lesser beings like curly-haired men and people who need glasses, therapy can help.

Jack: I only pass gas once a year, for an hour, atop a mountain in Switzerland.

Jack: Just get him [Tracy] back in time for the show. I have a very full plate.
Liz: Really? Is it from that pie place?
Jack: And I'm tired of going to bat for you and your show.
Liz: Oh. Ok. Fine. But just to be clear....
Jack: There is no pie!

Jack: Lemon, I want you to get better because, and I mean this, I'm tired of talking this much to a woman I'm not having sex with.