Jack Spicer quotes from Xiaolin Showdown

What you know about Heylin Seed?

Jack Spicer

I read something about it in Evil Seeds and Gardens. Why?

Four monks down and one whiny geek to go.

Jack

I'M NOT WHINY!

Woozy Shooter!

Jack

Reversing Mirror!

Omi

Jack Spicer, truth or lie, do you seek world domination because you feel small and worthless?

Jack

Lie!

Omi

No. Truth!

Jack

My turn. Truth or lie, do you work so hard as a Xiaolin monk because you know you're an odd ball geek with a big head?

Omi

Ha! That is most ridiculous. Lie!

Jack

But you do have a big ego.

Omi

No, my ego is the right size.

Jack

You lied!

Omi

I order you to spill your internal organs right now!

Jack

[screamed] What kind of sick people are you!?

Raimundo

I think he means spill your guts.

Jack

Hey, I want my stuff back.

No, I will keep everything.

Jack

Think again, bubba. I press enter and doggy breath is a UFM. Unidentified flying Muffinface!

No! Not my Muffinface! Ok, ok, I will return your stuff.

Jack

What do you think the spiders want with us?

Raimundo

Dude, we're in their web. Take a guess.

Jack

[Understanding] I DON'T WANT A SPIDER TO EAT ME!

Clay

Chill, evil partner! Spiders don't eat people! They desiccate you, suck out all your fluids until nothing is left. [Clay dried up and the others staring at him] What? Can't a cowboy have a hobby?

Jack

I don't want to be...what he said!

Omi

Hurry, everyone! Take my hand!

Jack

I have a better idea! I'll take the Golden Tiger Claws!

Kimiko

Jack, you jerk!

Jack

Too late, Xiaolin has-been!

Omi

Jack Spicer! I order you to surrender at once!

Jack Spicer

Aw, of course I will surrender...BOBBLEHEAD!

Omi

Kimiko, Raimundo, Clay, I was ready to humiliate you in battle, but I have no idea why.

Kimiko

It’s OK, Omi. It’s just good to have you back.

Jack

Omi, I missed you so.

Omi

OK, now I am most confused.

Jack brought the Reversing Mirror into the Ying Yang World. Instead of coming out whole, he must have left behind all of his evil.

Chase Young

I hate to interrupt such a nauseating moment, but we have some serious evil left on the agenda.

Clay

You have got no hold on Omi. He’s got his Chi back, and you ain’t getting your grubby hands on it.

Chase Young

Omi swore his loyalty to me.

Kimiko

He wasn’t himself back then.

Raimundo

Omi is going nowhere. Except back home with us.

Jack

Hey! You're not supposed to be here!

Omi

Well, what comes in circles goes the other way in circles. [Everyone stares at him]

Somebody translate! I'll be up all night.

Clay

I'm guessing "what goes around comes around.

Oh, please. That wasn't even close.

Raimundo

She's not your mom, she's a robot!

Omi

[shocked] A ROBOT?!

Jack

[gesturing to Wuya and Hannibal; cowering fearfully] Hey, they made me do it. [voiceover of flashback] They made build all other robots. Hannibal Bean then used the Moby Morpher to make my robots look like your relatives. If you had any. [back to the present] We figured if we could break up the dream team, we could take all your Wu.

And it would have worked, too. [points to Omi] If you hadn't shown up.

Omi

Let us just say that a little bird told me to.

Jack

[Doing a crossword puzzle] What's a four-letter word for idiot?

Jack.

Jack

Perfect!

I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown Trio!

Raimundo

Come on, let's take 'em!

Omi

No, we cannot dishonor his challenge.

Jack

Our Thorn of Thunderbolt and Silk Spitter against your Mantis Flip Coin and the Treasure of the Blind Swordsman.

The game is Emperor of the Train. Last man standing wins.

Let's go! Xiaolin Showdown!

Perhaps you I'd like to surrender now.

Jack

Perhaps you I'd like to keep your disses to yourself, four-eyes!

He's blind!

Jack

Even better! Time to double-team, Mr. No-eyes! Ha ha! Jack's on an evil rant now! Thorn of Thunderbolt!

Silk Spitter!

Mantis Flip Coin!

Omi

The jig is down! You're at the top of your rope! Spoon over that Wu! [Pauses, everyone stares at him].

Jack

Oooh, oh! I got it! The jig is up, you're at the end of your rope, fork over the Wu! [Starts dancing and brings out an evil genius ribbon]