Master Fung quotes from Xiaolin Showdown

Ah, the Orb of Tornami. Its small mouth holds back a mighty flood.

The power of the Crystal Glasses should not be taken lightly.

Omi, I would like you to meet Raimundo.

Raimundo

‘Sup?

Kimiko.

Kimiko

He said that? [gasped] Hey. No way!

And Clay.

Clay

Howdy.

Omi

Master, where are the new students?

Right in front of you, Omi.

Omi

They are not what I expected.

The best things in life rarely are.

Omi

You are right, master. Welcome, my new and strangely-attired friends.

I must be going, young ones. I can see there is much teaching to be done here.

Omi

Yes, master. Much teaching indeed.

It is your most solemn duty as Xiaolin Warriors to find all the Shen Gong Wu before Wuya does.

Raimundo

[raises hand] I have a question.

Yes, Raimundo?

Raimundo

I saw my room, and no bed. Just a mat. What the dealy? [Everyone stares at him] Um, we can talk later...

You have all done exceptionally well. Wouldn’t you agree, Dojo?

Not bad, for amateurs.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step.

Where do you get this stuff?

I have a desk calendar.

Omi

Master Fung, there are so many Shen Gong Wu left to be found.

Your new friends will help.

Omi

Oh, yes, master. I have already taught much to Kimiko, Raimundo, and Clay.

But, Omi, they are here to teach you.

Omi

But I am the chosen one.

You aren’t the only chosen one, Omi. Someday your new friends may become Dragons, as well. Kimiko, the Dragon of Fire. Clay, the Dragon of Earth. And Raimundo, the Dragon of the Wind.

Omi

Is this true, master?

Yes, but I didn’t want to tell you until you were ready.

Clay

I don’t think he was ready.

Raimundo

Dibs on the Eye of Dashi!

Omi

No! You cannot have it! You do not know what it will do!

Raimundo

Sure I do, it's supposed to shoot lightning or something. Besides, I called it.

Omi

But I won it in the showdown! I should be the first to use it!

Fighting over a Shen Gong Wu? Are you two trying to start a Xiaolin Showdown?

Omi

Master Fung, please decide which (one) of us should take the Eye of Dashi.

Hmm. It should go to the winner of the obstacle course challenge

Omi

In your head, Raimundo!

Raimundo

In your face.

Omi

Talk to my fingers!

I didn't mean you, Omi. Clay was the fastest.

Omi

[not believing it; shocked] WHAT?! But he…

Use it well.

Clay

Much obliged, Master Fung, sir.

The Mantis Flip Coin and the Two-Ton Tunic.

Raimundo

Yeah, yeah, all right.

Kimiko

Thank you, Master Fung.

Omi

[upset] I get no Shen Gong Wu?

You weren't defeated by your opponent Raimundo.

Raimundo

Oh, no? Would you like to see the impression of his boot on my butt?

[Hurriedly] Oh, that won't be necessary. You were defeated by your lack of knowledge. Remember, a drop of knowledge is more powerful than a sea of force.

Raimundo

[Sighs] Can't anyone speak normally around here?

Reflect on these things. As for me, I think I shall try my hand at Goo Zombies 2.

Raimundo

Hey, Dojo. What's shakin'?

Me! A new Shen Gong Wu just activated!

The Ring of the Nine Dragons makes one warrior into as many as nine.

Omi

Nine different places at one time? Ooh, that would be most helpful!

Kimiko

At this point, any Shen Gong Wu would be helpful.

Raimundo

True. We've only got one left.

Clay

Thanks to that dirty snake, Jack Spicer.

Omi

My viper strike was not very good.

I never made it past level one.

I ate cookie dough all night. [belches] Oh, may I never be hungry again.

[off-screen] Omi?

[gasp] Master Fung!

The Falcon's Eye gives one the ability to see through solid objects.

Raimundo

Even through Clay?

Clay

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

I want them spotless, Omi. Spotless. [holds up a brush and gives him a sharped scowl]

Omi

[sadly understanding] Yes, Master. [takes the brush] Spotless.

I will inspect your work in one hour. [leaves the kitchen, slamming the door shut]

Kimiko

Wow, I've never seen Master Fung so upset.

Clay

He looked as mad as a beaver in a petrified forest.

Omi

Master Fung is right to be angry (with me). [starts getting to work] I have acted most shamefully. Because of my disobedience, we still only have one Shen Gong Wu.

Raimundo

Yeah, true. [Kimiko angrily nudges him in the arm] Ow! What?! I'm just agreeing with what he said. Besides, maybe it's better this way.

Omi

Master, how will we fight this Mala Mala Jong?

You won't, Omi. You and the other chosen ones will take our Shen Gong Wu and flee the temple grounds immediately. [holds up his hand, silencing the Xiaolin monks as they're about to complain] The remaining Shen Gong Wu must not fall into Wuya's hands. You will protect them at all costs. Now go!

Raimundo

I didn't spend all this time training to just run and hide! I'm not afraid of this Mala Mala Ding-Jong thing!

This is no time for recklessness, Raimundo. Do as you are told.

Omi

[heartbroken] Raimundo really has betrayed us.

Raimundo stole our Shen Gong Wu? This is most troubling.

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, put a padlock on this thing!

Clay

There's a bright side. He only rustled up one… the Serpent's Tail.

Omi

Why would Raimundo take just one Shen Gong Wu?

Because that one Shen Gong Wu is all Wuya needs.

Kimiko

Is the Serpent's Tail really all that?

You got that ominous thing going on. Care to spill the beans?

On its own, the Serpent's Tail is no great threat, it makes a solid person ghostly.

But combined with Reversing Mirror...

Omi

It would turn a ghostly person solid!

Wuya!

Precisely.

Shard of Lightning!

As soon as the user brings forth the power of the Shard, he can move so fast no one can see him.

Jack

I got the big guy. You get the little monk, Jack. [takes the Eye of Dashi out of Raimundo's hand] The hand is faster than even the Eye of Dashi. [then places a bucket of water over his head] That should teach them to mess with Jack Spicer.

[referring to Omi] What to do with the cheese ball? Ah! [switches the Golden Tiger Claws with a squirrel]

Jack

Nah. Not evil enough. [hammers Omi's shoes to the ground]

Why stop there? [pulls down Omi's pants]

Jack

Perfect!

But the powers of the Shard only last as long as the flash of lightning.

Omi

Has Dojo ever gotten out of his box?

It's only happened once. It was the last time anyone saw... Atlantis.